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- Therefore I Walked Two Miles to Work at sharepoetry
My car was being repaired, therefore / I rode my bike to the gym / to meet Big Dave. / But I was sick, therefore / I stood around while Big Dave worked out. / After he got done / I didn’t feel like riding my bike home, therefore / we put it - Days Of Wine And Romance at sharepoetry
Days Of Wine And Romance / Back in Brooklyn College / some professor liked to hang out / with a friend of mine named Jamie / the professor was married / and had a family / and Jamie was thirty years younger / but they had wine / a - a Dog’S Life at sharepoetry
A mangy old black stray dog / looking distinctive / with a tuft of / white hair under his chin / visited a therapist / who told him / his poor living conditions / were a manifestation / of his low self-esteem. / You’re worth something; - Poetry Workshop at sharepoetry
A women I know / Wanted me to help teach / A poetry workshop / At the local shelter / We met the director / A nice women / And the talk was / If there was going to be / Enough space / With all the people / We’d be getting - Big Bad John at sharepoetry
John Holmes was a guy / who finished at the top / of the genetic pool / and was endowed / with one of the longest / schlongs in the / recorded history of man / so instead of having / to change oil all day / at Jiffy lube / or - Moving Day at sharepoetry
It was a hot July day / Things hadn’t been going well / And I had to help her move. / To my chagrin her son was there. / The epitome of today’s / Hyperactive, dyslexic, / A.D.D, Ridilin addicted causalities. / Her place resembled / A thri - Scraping Bottom at sharepoetry
My ex is so desperate / she’s thinking of sleeping / with her best friends son / whose a forty year old schizophrenic / on heavy duty psych meds / and lives with his mother / but the ex / goes on and on to me / making a case / - History Lesson at sharepoetry
People have history / they go back together / and so do houses / and the people / living in those houses / / and there was something wrong / with the toilet / and me and the old lady / tried to fix it / but there was water - Worlds Greatest Mystery at sharepoetry
All you really have / in this life / is your sense of desperation / varying levels of depression / moments of rage / animal licking it wounds pain / sweaty palms fear / alternating between restlessness / and chronic fatigue / u - Bearded Lady at sharepoetry
A friend of mine told me / about how he christened / his new apartment / by having sex with a women / sporting a goatee. / He prefaced this statement / by saying, / WE sure do get some strange chicks / implying that I was just as bad / - The Audacity Of No Hope at sharepoetry
True magic / is the realization / that there is no magic / only sleight of hand / tricks / / and real faith / is not believing / in anything / until God / sucks your dick / and lets you come / in her mouth / / and - The Kid Strikes Out Again at sharepoetry
I’d seen the kid at / the poetry reading before / he was ambitious / had his work / printed on a broadside / and handed them out / with his phone number / he asked for feedback / like he wanted you / to tell him of / his great - The Houdini Of Dining at sharepoetry
Back in the early post-depression days / when everyone was still poor / my father told me / Uncle Eddie would invite everyone / to a fancy restaurant / and order the most expensive items / on the menu / my father would kick him under - Urban Nature at sharepoetry
Nancy went to bed / pulled down the bed spread / and proclaimed she spotted a roach. / I don’t want to sleep with no roach, she said. / / Yeah, yeah I said / eyes glued to the TV / I’ll buy some spray / then she went on / talking about - Die fast or die slow at sharepoetry
You can be killed by self-destruction / staying out all night / using drugs, drinking and / chain-smoking / having unprotected sex / with prostitutes / hanging out with low-lives / who’d stab their mother / in the back / for a f - Onomatomania at sharepoetry
The featured poet / arrived a little late / then discussed / the publisher of his book / ad nauseam / before he started reading / he decided to go / to the bathroom / when he came back / he commented / about the first poem - Writer’S Impotency at sharepoetry
I sat down to write, / I wanted to be funny and witty, / tragic and uplifting / but I couldn’t think / of anything to say / and started to feel performance anxiety / like when you can’t get it up / even though you want it so bad. / And if - Whatever Happened To Dennis Miller? at sharepoetry
There used to be this comedienne / named Dennis Miller / who was hip, had this biting sarcasm and wit / that I liked / and on his show / he’d pick some issue / that he wasn’t right with / and start attacking / and say, / “now I - The Power Of Like at sharepoetry
I like, like / far better than / I like love / / you can like / a person, or two / or ten / but it’s just about / a darn crime / if you love someone / other than the person / you’re in love with / / and love is so ser - Everybody Uses Everybody at sharepoetry
My ex called me to hang out / on a lazy Sunday / and she bought up / how her niece and her husband / quit calling her / after she got laid off / for the summer / and could no longer / afford to take them / out to eat / inferr - For The Birds at sharepoetry
Former convicted / Madame to the stars / Heidi Fleiss / Wanted to start / A brothel for women / In Utah / Where prostitution is legal / But she ran into / A lot of red-tape / And besides / Her whole premise / Was wrong - No Bones About It at sharepoetry
In some graveyard / all the bones look alike / leg bones, arm bones, / ribs, skulls, scapula’s / some might be bigger / or smaller / but all are / more or less equal / so President Lincoln’s bones / or Einstein’s bones / or J - Foms Of Happiness at sharepoetry
I wish I could / find happiness / and put it in a pill / that you could swallow / and feel pure joy / / Or better yet / take that happiness / and smoke it / and the more you smoke / the happier you get / / Or how about - Bargain at sharepoetry
I drove a little too far / into a crosswalk / where a woman was walking / figuring she was annoyed / I blew her a kiss / surprisingly she motioned me / to roll down the window / “I need a drink,” she said / “I’ll give you a hand jo - The Taming Of The Shrew at sharepoetry
To a single guy / A woman is a dangerous thing / I’m not talking about the women / He dates / But the woman / He winds up living with / Or married to / And after years of him / Doing his wash / Mixing colored and whites together - Tax Shelter at sharepoetry
To a conservative republican / which is redundant / taxes is a five letter word / dirtier than any four letter word / they’re outraged that a sliver / of their hard earned (?) dollars / might be doled out to such / useless things as - Cynicism Is My Religion at sharepoetry
I’m about as bitter and sarcastic / As they come / I revel in laughing / At this cesspool of humanity / And the fools that run around saying / I just want to make the world / A better place / Or the virtual slaves of the status quo - People Die At The Most Inconvenient Times at sharepoetry
It seems you get that phone call / right when you’ve just / settled down to watch a / ballgame with a sandwich / or you get the bad news / when you’re about to go / on vacation / and have to change your plans / and maybe worst of a - So What at sharepoetry
So she didn’t want / to go out with you / / so you didn’t get / into the first three schools / of your choice / / so you didn’t get / the job you applied for / / so Steve Rubell / wouldn’t let you in / Studio 54 / - Love Poem at sharepoetry
A woman at writers group / wanted to put together a book / of stories / based on Valentines Day / / being the poet of the group / she asked me if I wanted / to write a set of poems / / but I declined / Valentines Day poems - You were great at sharepoetry
At the slaughter / The way you shot / The women and children / And torched their straw huts / That was awesome / / And you were great / In the courtroom / Getting all those families / In their hovels and shacks / To have to m - Love At First Sight at sharepoetry
Though I’d been around / the block and back / more than once / I loved her / the first moment / I saw her / she was both / cute and beautiful / her large dark blue/black eyes / and long lashes / belied a sweet type / of inn - Missing The Seasons Of Hell at sharepoetry
I stayed single / On a second floor / Studio apartment / Until I was fifty / / Except for the occasional / One night stand / It was just me / And the cockroaches / It was easier to co-exist / Than to wage war / / I wasn’ - Sir, Yes Sir at sharepoetry
I will drop down / And give you forty / Sir, yes sir / One drill sergeant / Two drill sergeant / Three drill sergeant / / I will polish my boots / Every night sir / Until they’re spit shined / Like mirrors / Sir, yes sir - Pecking Order at sharepoetry
There was a time in / The nineteen-nineties / When I took a woman / To the drive-in / And although I wasn’t / Attracted to her / I thought of putting / A move on her / Because after all, she / Was a women / But then she asked
