Try2changeme• Show stories

There are many things about me people don't understand. They call me complex, I say I'm real. They call me a bitch, I say I'm blunt. They call me a slut, I say I know how to love. They say I'm worthless. I keep my chin up high.

I give up at times. I really don't know how far in life I can actually manage. I want to go into college, get a degree in law, and continue on helping the world. However, I've caused so much trouble, so much mishap in this world that I'm not sure people can accept me after all the 'bad' I've done. You might think, Oh, it can't be that bad. Maybe it's not. But for me, and what I used to be, well I just can't stand the fact that I got sucked into that horrible life. I was doing drugs. I was (and still am) drinking, I was (and still am) smoking, I was getting suspended, I was getting into fights, I was sleeping around. My grades were dropping from all A's. And I swear to god, I'm trying to do better. Some of my habits I've still kept. I still drink my way into a high level of drunkenness. I still chain-smoke. I still have that red film cover my gaze at the times I want to fight. I still feel like I 'need a man' when I actually only want to get into bed with him. But I try to resist my urges. It somewhat works.

This is a hard life. Some of you know that, others do not. But I promise every single person that comes across this page that life WILL kick you down. It will kick you again once you're down. Sometimes you feel like you can't get back up. And some of you won't. Some of you will stay down, and never return to the person you used to be. However, I wish you didn't. I know life is hell, really. But I got back up. Other things have happened to me, not just what I've written, and I still got back up. And it IS hard. No matter what anyone says, it really is hard. If you ever need help, or someone to talk to, I'm here. I bet whatever the problem is, I or someone I know has dealt with it. And I'll try to help you. I promise.


Me:

I have almost bleach-blonde hair. I've had purple, red, brown, black, and dirty blonde before. This is the first time I've ever dyed it this light.

I have green/blue eyes. People say I have sunflower eyes since I have a gold ring around my pupil, like a sunflower.

I'm a normal height (5'4") even thoguh I adore wearing high heels to make me look taller.

I'm not heavy, I'm not thin. I used to have many problems with my weight. I'm still trying to lose weight, but I'm doing it in a healthy way. I'm eating right, working out. Instead of just not eating.

I'm pale, but I could be much paler. I have a bit of a tan left from the summer, but not much. I have three ear piercing in my left ear, two in my right. I also have my navel pierced.

Get to know me

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GIRL FACTS:

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking she wants to hold your hand.

When she wants a hug she will just stand there.

When you break a girl's heart, she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later.

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you," no one can miss you in the world more than that.

When a girl is mean to you after a breakup, she wants you back but is scared that she'll get hurt and knows that you are gone forever.


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QUOTES:

do what makes you happy
be with who makes you smile
laugh as much as you breathe
and love as much as you live

Somtimes i wish i was little kid again
skinned knees r easier to fix
than broken hearts

A true friend is
one soul divided
into two bodies

You know you're in love when the hardest thing is
to say goodbye

A friend is someone who knows
EVERYTHING about you
but still loves you

A friendship that ended
never even started

If you love me
let me know
if you don't
then let me go

Sometimes you're the windshield
sometimes you're the bug

To the world, you may be one person
But to one person, you may be the world

loving you is like breathing
how can i stop?

a broken heart can only be fixed
by the person who broke it

hate can be a positive emotion
when it forces you to
better yourself

You laugh because i'm different
i laugh cuz you're all the same

Should i smile cuz you're my friend?
or cry because thats all we'll ever be?

Friends are like bras
Close to ur heart
And always there for support

Never frown when you are sad
cuz u dont know who is
falling in love with ur smile

The hardest thing in life is knowing which bridges to cross
And which bridges to burn

The only way out
Is to give in

Fear will kill a man
Faster than a gun or a knife

Everything is ok in the end
if its not ok
then its not the end

I wish I were your tears
I’d be born in your eye
Live on your cheek
Die on your lips
If you were my tear
Id never cry In fear of losing you

Don’t cry over anyone who won’t cry over you

Why do you care about me now I want to die
And not when I wanted to live?

There’s nothing to gain if theres nothing to lose

Cause theres more to life
Than just to live



POEMS:

THESE TWO POEMS ARE NOT MINE!!!
I just really like them, and posted them here...
If they're yours, and you want me to take them off, just let me know. I just really adore them... No pledgerism intended

Sunlight beams through my window
and dances across my sleeping body
head resting peacefully on my pillow
a soft smile touching my lips
a graceful morning hides the events from the night before
one hundred pills and a razor blade.
my skin is stained with red,
the sheets are stained too.
the piece of paper clutched in my hand explains it all.
it was too much for me to handle.
they haven't found me yet.
dad knocks, then walks in to find my cold, lifeless self.
he reads my final goodbye
I'm sorry, dad, I hope you understand. I am happier this way.
he hugs me tight, tears staining my pillow.
'I love you pumpkin,' he whispers in my ear.
I love you too daddy


I don't know why I do it
I expect it to take away the pain
but i just stagger up the stairs
with tears in my eyes again
It's supposed to work
that's why people do it right?
to drink the pain away?
but i always end up cryin harder every night
it doesn't help
that fucking pink bottle of vodka
i just don't get it
i'm sick of it and still don't learn
i still feel feeble and weak
when i get up the next day
i promise myself to find another way
but how?
help me
i say to the pink bottle
i throw it at the wall
get out of my life i scream
as i watch it fly at a full throttle

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Badger

Genera and Species: Taxidea taxus
Collective Term: A cete of badgers
Description

Badgers are closely related to weasel personalities and share the same range as their cousins the skunks. What distinguishes them from their relatives is their extraordinary physical and emotional strength and tenacious approach to life's challenges. Good looking, small to medium sized individuals, they walk and talk as if they own the world and their powerfully built bodies and dominating personalities back down for no one, not even the much larger personality of the lion. They will confidently enter the territory of others -- woe betide anyone who blocks their path.

Like most carnivores, badgers stay in shape with regular physical activity and are well dressed and precisely groomed. They enjoy all sports and their competitive natures drive them to the edges of their abilities. Because of their small size, they sometimes feel the need to assert themselves to gain the respect accorded the larger carnivores. Perhaps this is why badgers do not appreciate unsolicited advice and can be quite rude to anyone trying to help, and often alienate well-meaning acquaintances. Still, friends are drawn to their capable and protective qualities and rely on them to hold the group together.

As a hot-blooded mammal, the badger thrives on the excitement of new relationships and sexual conquests. But this incorrigible flirt and voracious lover is untraditional when it comes to matters of romance -- no roses and chocolates for this feisty character. To celebrate an anniversary, it's more likely to be found climbing a mountain than spending a quiet night at home. When a badger finally does settle down, it usually mates for life and proves to be a passionate and committed partner. Loyalty is important to the badger and it is quick to demand reciprocation; nothing is more unpleasant than dealing with a badger who feels cheated or disrespected. However, partners who manage to accept their intense nature, will experience an exquisite and unrelenting love affair.

Communicating with a badger is often a one-way affair. Its love for debate takes precedence over its desire to really hear what its partner is saying and it tends to dominate discussions with its dogmatic speaking style. Because it will not abide criticism of its behavior, it can prove to be quite insensitive to its mate's emotional needs.