The Love ParadoxLock
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25- If it looks, feels, and sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
However If it doesn't, it really isn't worth anything.
—Rx
on Jul 17 10:41 AM
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cq1
on Jul 17 04:46 PM
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(GSB) Wer seine Seele liebt, der wird sie verlieren; wer aber seine Seele in dieser Welt haßt, wird sie zum ewigen Leben bewahren.
(GW) Those who love their lives[the above german translation that says SOUL for lives is closer to the greek word]] will destroy them, and those who hate their lives[once again the greek word psuche is better translated as soul] in this world will guard them for everlasting life[the greek word for this life in this translation is another word ZOE not psuche ].
on Jul 17 06:20 PM
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cq
on Jul 17 06:55 PM
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on Jul 17 08:21 PM
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cq
on Jul 25 03:34 AM
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on Jul 25 08:23 AM
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cq
on Jul 25 01:01 PM
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He's a treat, cq... nibble softly.
on Jul 26 03:08 AM
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cq
on Jul 17 09:39 PM
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We are often scared and do not know how to handle it, so we often fuck it up and feel we have done the right thing... but perhaps often it is the right thing "for us" to do. You see love is all about us and seldom about others.
Take two ... "However If it doesn't, it really isn't worth anything"
I must say that could be a big mistake for any love with any worth grows.
Do not deny any amount of love.. you may need it.
on Jul 17 10:39 PM
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on Jul 24 08:46 PM
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Love
on Jul 24 08:55 PM
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on Jul 24 09:02 PM
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Love
on Jul 24 09:12 PM
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on Jul 24 09:47 PM
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Says it all... you were not able to address my comment in an intelligent manner and have to restore to foolish games.
Tells me your orginal post had little substance in the first place and simply posted as a statement.
I have read the statement but disagree... it is that simply.
Love
on Jul 25 10:21 AM
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Thank you again. Every bump counts.
on Jul 26 12:53 AM
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Love always
on Jul 25 11:07 AM
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If the other person comes and begins saying things like "I will love you forever! I will NEVER stop loving you!", "You are my PERFECT match, my soul-mate!", "I will NEVER leave you!", and promises like that, chances are that in a few months, or a year, or a few years down the line, those words will be demoted by them to "WE spoke a lot of things in haste.", "WE BOTH said a lot of things we didn't really mean." (Notice that to make themselves feel better for abandoning their love for you and their promises, they include YOU in their own statements, telling you what you think and feel as well; whereas in reality YOU meant every single word and proclamation of love you spoke.)
In the end, ALL those proclamations of undying eternal love proved to be "too good to be true." Just words.
However, for me anyway... Who wants to be loved half-assed and halfhearted, or just be with someone who doesn't love you... because "it's better than being alone"? Who wants someone who DOESN'T love you eternally, and unceasingly, and who is your very best friend?
...Not me anyway. So then, anything less than those statements of undying love aren't worth anything... the same statements which will most likely in most situations later prove to be "just words" without substance.
So then the trick is to find the one who means it. And that is, as many have stated, like winning the lottery. Yet people still keep playing. The ultimate prize of sincere and undying love is worth it—even if it takes a thousand and seventy years.
Anyone who can't understand this simply doesn't understand this kind of love. They are shallow, fickle, superficial - incapable of understanding love with depth—maybe because they actually think love is more about them than the other person.
And anyone who thinks love is about you and not the other person hasn't a slight clue of what love is. Love is giving to another, making them smile and laugh, and finding happiness in their joy, at your gifts to them, and [sharing their joy] in those moments along [with them], as [they] rejoice. Personally, I can eat a whole cheesecake by myself and en[joy] it; but I get more happiness GIVING some to someone else and sharing it—because I get more joy making another person happy. It's not about receiving. "There (truly) is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving."—Acts 20:35 Many who don't know God don't understand real love, and vice-versa (1 John 4:7-9) because God gave us life knowing that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING we can give back to him, but recognition and love in return. (Deu. 10:12) For goodness sake, he gave man his own planet! Then in order to put things right between he and us he gave his only son. (John 3;16) If you think "love is more about me than them", then I feel extreme pity for you—you're missing out on the real joy that is love.
To feel sincere love for another is awesome. To be loved by another in turn is nothing short of divine—even if I have only tasted it so far.
—Rx
on Jul 25 12:38 PM
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The infatuation that we talked about early in this post has given way to a feeling hard and substantial as a rock - and as soft as a whisper. It is warm and comforting as well as cool and refreshing. There is no one I'd rather be with than my husband.
Thanks for reminding me.
cq
P.S. Keep looking. It's worth it.
on Jul 25 01:50 PM
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That as a result, there are mainly two types of people: Those who understand, and those who don't. What this causes is that [most often] those who understand giving and self-sacrifice end up with someone who doesn't—after all those who are superficial far outweigh those who are not, so we are most likely to find one of them than one of the few.
This is why there are so many romantics on sites like this looking for that perfect mate—who knows they exist somewhere.
Now back to the paradox.
Many who THINK they are the giving type who believes in undying love find out that they are not when they actually meet one. THEN they suddenly realize what they got them self into. You know what they say: "Be careful what you pray for, you might get it."
For some, they have never been with someone who loves them from the heart, perhaps they have always been beaten. Beaten by their father, Molested by an uncle, Married someone who ended up being no different. Then dated a series of unloving jerks. So they fantasize about being with someone who loves them deeply and eternally; But when they actually find someone to love them deeply for who they are, they can't handle it. In reality, they find that they are not the romantic they thought they were after all, and that in truth they want something in-between. But that is not the same. Although they don't want the opposite extreme - someone who despises them, their new found ideal only puts them right back into the category of those who don't know how to fully give and receive—real love.
And the one who loved them is left without yet again, because someone who thought they could love can't, or maybe just won't.
It's extremely sad to meet someone who thought they were capable of giving undying love; only to learn that they aren't that person after all. It's sad to watch; and it must be sad to be as well.
Yeah, I'll keep waiting; but I'm done looking. I feel it will be a long solitary road for me.
—Rx
on Jul 26 10:47 AM
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Do you think people like that are capable of changing?
on Jul 26 11:41 AM
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I'm sure [some] individually can.
But you can mark my words in this regard...
Love is a decision.
How much do YOU want to change? I guess you would become your own experiment in a contest judged by yourself in the end. How much conviction do you have?
Each individual's situation and background is different. Me? My father couldn't let one day go by without telling us "I love you." I remember nights where he would punish us for something we did, and send us to our rooms... then we would be woken up from sleep to an apology and "I love you." My mother though has never spoken it; but we had a relatively good, stable, and loving upbringing to the age of 8 in my case.
Yet due to my father, I'm that same way. I've had times where I would have justifiable reason to be mad at my (ex) wife, or a girlfriend; yet IT KILLS ME - NOT to say the words—whereas to them the words "I love you" always seemed to be painful and foreign to speak (and I seem to end up with women who were abused in childhood - seeking love - who can't accept it in the end).
So I can't fully imagine what it's like to grow up without any love; or the opposite, to be beaten and degraded.
However, they say that in business "If you want to be successful, go to a successful person and learn from them." I find this works in everything, not just business. This is why I speak of God's love. Look how miserable we are, and how most of mankind treats him; and yet he gave his son for those sinning against him. THAT is love and self-sacrifice!
Learning how to be able to receive love (or handle it as you say), if you're not accustomed to it, can be a challenge. But still, it depends on you. Now is the best time to begin learning. And this is the way of progress: it will seem like you make no progress at first, and for some time... but in sticking to it with conviction and determination, then one day in a year to come you suddenly realize "I'm a different person! I'VE REACHED MY GOAL!"
—Rx
on Jul 26 12:14 PM
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I don't know why I am the way I am; my family was very loving, and they still are, and though there have been past difficulties, they're still very expressive of that love. Maybe it IS something in my past; though I was certain I had all those issues resolved...
That's surprising to me, that anyone could need to say those words so badly! I can't imagine that...I've been in love once, really in love, but it was still extremely difficult to get close to him. Like you said, it was way too hard, and I was constantly seeking a way to escape-I was never unfaithful in any way, just emotionally distant...
Thank you for your advice; I'll try harder!
on Jul 26 10:24 AM
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Upon surface examination, we could conclude that it has always been this way with imperfect man.
However, upon deeper examination it seems to me that at one time, only a hundred or a few hundred years back, couples stayed together and had more meaningful, long-term relationships.
So then, could it be more of a matter of the times we are living in contributing to the breakdown of morality, love, godly qualities, and the human spirit in general?
At Matthew 24:12, when Jesus was answering his disciples regarding the signs of the last days, he said that "because of the increasing of lawlessness the love of the greater number will cool off."
And this is exactly what we see today - the love [of the greater number] of people cooling off, and almost dead in many respects. This automatically makes those who do understand love a minority—and even of those who can love, they too [can be] affected by the greater loveless view [if] they are not decisive.
Then, in line with Jesus' description of attitudes in the last days, at 2 Timothy 3:2-3, Paul wrote: "For men will be lovers of themselves... having no natural affection".
It seems to me that the reason there are so few today who understand real love as self-sacrificing, rather than self-serving, is that in line with what was foretold, FEW today would not be affected by the selfish attitudes of the greater majority.
It takes a strong, decided, inner conviction to FIGHT against developing the traits of this loveless world. And if WE are not careful and consciously make a stand, we too will develop those loveless traits, and be given over to them.
—Rx
on Jul 26 12:50 PM
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Just because they stayed together, Jules, doesn't mean their relationship was more meaningful. My parents were married for 60 absolutely miserable years. They stayed together because that's what married couples did. My father loved my mother - and so did my mother. They both loved her. She would have looked so bad if they had split up and that just couldn't happen. Don't romanticize relationships from the past. People were the same then as they are now; Society's expectations are what have changed.
cq
on Jul 29 07:18 AM
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on Jul 26 10:43 AM
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on Jul 26 11:53 AM
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"If you love something, Set it free... If it comes back, it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was."—Anonymous
A boomerang is a common symbol of something that faithfully returns...
However, if a boomerang returns it means it failed in it's purpose. hmmm
—Rx
on Jul 26 12:41 PM
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A boomerang is a good example of parental love. As each of our children (5) reached the age of independence, we "set them free". They went to college, their own apartments, jobs, whatever. Each one came back. You could say we'd failed. We called them our boomerang kids. After a time, when it seemed they were ready, we sent them out again. This time they didn't return.
cq