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I felt it once again. It was that extreme, burning pain that I occasionally feel. I no more occasionally feel that pain, but quite often. I found no cause of the pain, just myself. I am the cause of all of my pain. They always say there is a solution to the pain you feel. Yes there might be a solution, but has anyo
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It is a very painful and hollow freedom to wish to die, and yet to be already dead in one's own heart. And though I am alone in my heart at least one thing brings me happiness, even if it may seem to most as a selfish, cruel, and monsterous joke. I finally have a reason to live, to live so that in 2012 though in my
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Pay attention only to what I desire.
Vision is like Ray Charles to everything else.
Images from hell appearing from the rear view,
but a clear view is what I got.
History is like the television channel, switches on and off.
And obvious its MOB.
Cause never did a bitch steal my right to life.
Birth was marked f
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Its 3 AM in the morning but I can't sleep again, I had 2 very complex dreams.... 1
looking back on the first dream I had tonight, I dreamed of several different people, people i've never met... it was all fragments of people running for their lives, I didn't know who or why... all I knew was, if they found thes
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Journal 1
you no i need something like this but i dont want to i cant live no longer. i really cant i'm stuck in between live and death i can't choose. i'm cutting and drinking hard. i don't know what eles to do i'm tired and i want to give up i really do i thank...no theres no point i'm going to try and get help
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In a 5 year search, it seems I've finally found the key that gives meaning to every one of my actions. Unfortunately, I'm uncertain as to whether I should feel proud of this accomplishment, angered by this world's ignorance, or saddened was the unfortunate reality that even in a world full of people, I still feel so
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by Anti Creative
on Oct 28 5:48 PM, In Action, Adult, Adventure, Death, Erotica, Humor, Other, Personal, Romance, Vampires.
600 words.
Friends only.
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I really hate thinking about death, and the fact that I will inevitably die one day. What a scary thought. I love life, and the things I get to do, the emotions I get to feel, the people I get to know, because I have a life. How amazing, you know? Just because I was born, I get to do a million cool things. It sounds
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Tonight is the night, I'm going to try. I might just die to night. But it's like always I'm scared its not of death or whats after I'm scared of myself. I thank its so stupied to be. I've been waiting for this day so long... I need this. I thaink. I really don't know what i need anymore. What I do know it that I'm ti
by death is 4ever
on Oct 20 12:20 PM, In Angry, Dark, Death, Depression, Pain, Personal, Sad, Sadness, Self, Suicide.
100 words.
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My grandfather (Grampa, Papa… those are what I call him) is desperately ill. And I am growing increasingly worried by the level of incompetence being shown by the hospital and his doctors.
My Grampa has had pneumonia for the past few weeks. The other day he went to the doctor and he was so bad off they put him on
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What's up with cancer anyway?! Why can't they find a cure? Why's it so DIFFERENT from other diseases????????????????????
My mum's cousin died from it today. She was about 40.
My mum's best friend died from it. She was about 40/50.
My grandmother (mum's mum) died from it. She was about 70/80.
And then there are s
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Have you ever had that nagging feeling inside your gut? Do you ever listen to it? I advise you should, and so would Sam. That is, if she was still alive. 1
3 years ago, a young girl from Washington was in her room talking to her best friend Amanda. When suddenly, she noticed a spider in the covering over the
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Im sorry 1
Im sorry i was ever born for those who hate me.
for hurting the ones i love.
stacey was right jasons death was my fault.
my family would be happier if i wasnt around
i hate myself
ive tryed killing myself to manytimes to count.
im sorry ive waisted ppls time.
i blaim myself for my grandpas dea
by Gone Forever94
on Oct 6 8:03 PM, In Death, Depression, Family, Friends, Lost love, Pain, Personal, Sad, School, Thoughts.
200 words.
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Today would have been my grandfather's 80th birthday. He died when I was little, about 1 or 2. 1
I wish I could have gotten the chance to know him better. But... I guess if it's your time to go, it's your time to go...
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It seems to be the same everywhere I go. The initial awkwardness. The growing friendship. The flirting of boys. And then the quiet, all by myself, lonely and self-conscience. It's upsetting to constantly try to please people, enjoy their company, and then be rejected by them. Boys don't like me because I don't want t
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How could God take all five kids at once and so young? All being under 10 years old they barley even had a taste what life was like. So this is for the kids,
god,bless these kids as are in heaven
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Today, at 5 am, my Aunt passed away. She had lung complications and
then contracted pneumonia and she spent her last days in a hospice house. 1
She was the last sister my dad had, that was alive. Now, he has two brothers
left, and I know it's really hard on him. This is the third sibling he lost. 2
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"The worst thing in life is wishing someone to die." 1
"The worst thing in life is seeing people suffering." 2
"The worst thing in life is wanting to be someone else." 3
"The worst thing in life is to take away your own life." 4
"The worst thing in life is thinking war is a solution
to end the probl
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Today in Social Studies, we watched a 9/11 video. I had never seen one before, and had not realized how terrifying it must have been. The video was made by a college student, in her NYU dorm. Her name is Caroline Dries, and she was with her roommates. She was awakened by the sound of the first plane crash. They thou
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She points up the stairs and screams louder than she meant to
" GO BACK TO BED RIGHT NOW "
he spins around and marches to his room, her head aches, but still, she has one more to deal with and she is so damn sick and tired of all the fucking misery. 1
Turning to her next task she points to the living room and t
by karma-n-peace
on Sep 11 12:20 AM, In Angst, Death, Longing, Lost love, My life, Nonfiction, Pain, Personal, Sad.
3,100 words.
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today was just horrible. i hate people and i hate life. im going to cut and hopefully ill bleed til i die. 1
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i came so close to killing myself last night and i really thought it was the end for me. 1
but no i woke up this morning, i feel so hopless. i just wana feel numb forever. 2
i know i keep writing journals about this but idk wat to do. 3
i need an angel, please i need u so bad whoever u
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I would like to bring to your attention what one would do to survive. How some people would starve and freeze just to continue breathing and how others who’s life is evenly harsh had given up on that urge to survive. The basic instinct we all have in us. That one thing that makes us so much stronger: the will to su
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Zomg! what is wrong with your hat? It's all lopsided! go fix it before i call yo mama! Yea! I'm talkin to you! u gotta problem wwid dat buster!?!?!? 1
Hi, I'm natalie...no i'm not....yes I am....no....mr. superman no home... 2
FAMILY GUY 4 EvaH MANNNNNNNN 3
I loves u! 4
Frat parties.... 5
no hab
by musical tai
on Sep 6 4:43 PM, In Abuse, Adventure, Childrens, Death, Fantasy, Horror, Humor, Love, Personal, Vampires.
100 words.
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I don’t really know the purpose of spilling ones thoughts, concerns, and troubles in a public media like an online journal, but I need to rant and this is as good a way as any other. I doubt many people will actually be bothered to read this anyway, why would they waste their time on such a mundane and uninteresting
by Forgotten Anomaly
on Aug 30 4:21 AM, In Anger, Angst, Dark, Death, Escape, Life, Lost in thought, Nonfiction.
2,200 words.
→ 3 comments, Add one?
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When Deven died
i wanna to die
i reppeditly did self-harm
i still do
i wanna die sooooo bad now
no one will care
but this isit about me it about Devin
i loved him soooo much even tho i didnt get to spend much time with him i still loved him
not a days goes by that i dont miss him,think about him,love hi
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My sister Nataisha passed away June 2nd of 2007 and I miss her so much. She passed away from a really bad car accident. She was with four of her girlfriends and they had just come back from partying and when she was driving she hit a pot hole and lost control of the suv she was driving and some
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