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Well, It's the end of my first week in El Paso. Actually, I have been here since 10 November. It's been an interesting time. Going from a steady job and friends all around me... to absolutely nothing. $10 to my name, and all of 3 friends here. I have no activities, no job, no nothing and it is driving me INSANE! I h
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I am sorry for not being here much…I had found a job at the en do August and worked for ninety days, then they let me go because the manager of that store is basically controlling and ignorant…she wanted things her way and not the company way. 1
It is ok. I am going forward and filing grievances against her perso
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by rose-of-the-dead
1 day ago, In Angst, Bitter, Contemplative, Depression, Diary, Love, My life, Pain, Personal, Sad.
600 words.
Friends only.
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Few of you will understand this.
Its not meant to be taken literally. Translate it how you will.
Very few will actually grasp what I'm saying. 1
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I will not let you Saunter; .....You will run.
Scream and yell; But do not cry.
Grab the flacid thing between your thighs.
Pray to God that you own it thr
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The compulsion for stupidity is a blinding thing. To do the thing that will rip you in two and smile in the face of your own demise is the height of masochism. Yet you turn to it like a man burning in the desert for a cool drink of water. Stumbling for the pain as one might stumble toward the mirage for at least
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Someone please tell me what you do when you realize you have no true friends? 1
Never have i felt as alone as I do save once, and even then there was more of a reason, this time there is no such circumstance. I feel as if all I do is fruitless... No, I would not and Will not change my behavior. I like to help and
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That's right, folks! TODAY happens to be my third year b-day, of sorts, here at AP! Alot has happened in that amount of time...and I want to take a moment to reflect upon it all: 1
............... 2
Anyways, thanks for the friends that have stayed with me, and those that kept on through the site drama and thi
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Oh, I'll tell you,
I tell you being being alone isn't as horrible as it sounds.
What I won't tell you is that when I'm truly alone and I feel that no one is within range to hear me shout, 1
then, then I become afraid. 2
My imagination leads me to believe that the impossible
just might be possibl
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Yeah, okay… I fucking get it already. I’m a fuck up, and a burden in your fucking life. I’m sorry you brought me into this world, but I guess that was my fault too, right? You couldn’t remember anything I’ve ever done right if your life depended on it, but you CAN’T seem to forget any of the times I’ve fucked up, and
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(x) Smoked a cigarette
(x) Drank so much you threw up
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(x) Been arrested
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
() Seen someone die
() Been to Canada
() Been to Florida
() Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
(x) Been on the opposit
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How often do you have to sit outside before you've figured out the sides of all possible unpainted portraits yet veiled beneath your traveling fingers of sighs & sorrowful questions? Without a why to impose, a desolate observation needled closed, it's only another Life to get to know, throw away & dispose. Befor
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I have been noticing a lot of talk about people's muse and/or writer's block. These are things that I cannot really relate to. I know what they mean, but I just write. I get an idea. I plot out a story. I make an outline. I write a draft. I write a final draft. I may write a second draft too. I allow the story to e
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I love my piano, its just about the only thing that gets me through the day sometimes 1
Okay and yes, I'm deaf, and yes, i'm blind... and a lot of you might think i'm just deluding myself trying to succeed at the arts that supposedly "need" very sharp acute senses.... 2
You know, I spent most of my life
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I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. 1
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I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. 3
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I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. 5
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We are the par
by BloodDragonRuler
on Nov 16 8:51 AM, In Bitter, Contemplative, First person, Life, Nonfiction, Pain, Personal, Sad, Thoughts.
600 words.
→ 2 comments, Add one?
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I have been absent. So I would like to apologise for that. In the mean time I would like to make note that when I do have some spare time, I will read and comment on my entries, but I have been busy doing a lot of outside things like the following. 1
RSA Course [Responsible Service of Alcohol] Visit to th
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"Tell me Something....
Something random!" 5
I can tell you about anything you want to hear
but what good will that do? 6
How about I just tell you the truth,
how without hope we have nothing to live for;
Hope of a better and brighter tomorrow,
because yesterday
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FOUR 1
This entry contains no other people unless a random voice on the radio counts as a person. The cats are here too, sprawling in favourite places. 2
"I don't care if the sun don't shine. I get my lovin' in the evenin' time." Some jazz singer. But I was going to write about the projects that people
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My husband was injured in March and has not been able to work since then. I have been having health problems of my own since 2006, and with the economy the way it is, money has been extremely tight. 1
Because it was cheaper than paying for three utilities seperately, I got our cable/internet/phone combined. Well
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So... I've not done one of these yet. I came into my first day shift today and had a few journals to read from some of my most fav people. It saddens me to no end that so many people are hurting I wish I could comfort all of my friends. Especially the younger ones. My mom always said she wished she could open u
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What will be obvious to anyone who's looked at my profile page, is that one of my favorite writers is Hunter S. Thompson. 1
Tonight I drove over to Best Buy and picked up a copy of "Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson," and immediately returned home to watch it. 2
After two hours of absorbin
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Ok, so I sat down and decided to take something that people call a tragedy an art. Is that bad? Well probably, but I have always wondered if suicide can be considered an art. It seems logical enough in my opinion, but then again my opinion's are usually the last thing that people want to listen to because they're eit
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Christmas has always been a special time in our lives. When my children were little, we never travelled at that time. We wanted to celebrate the holiday at home.
Now, my husband has gone to be with the Lord, my children are all grown, most of my grandchildren, too. That doesn't deter us.
We still celeb
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So what do you do when you realize that you sabotage yourself?
I've noticed that I'm always on such a defense that my brain will automatically find any reason to believe something will fail me. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and soul and I wouldn't trade him for the world and I know truly that we will work. B
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We have the blood that stains your hands, the blood that wraps and contorts grotesquely around your body when you take it from ours. We have the eyes that see all: every intent to destroy us with your snickers and smirks. We have the talent that shines brighter than any sun, yet you dull it with your cruel laught
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I always write poetry but never shared 'em much. I must admit it feels good to share your work with others who really appreciate it and will make valuable comments to help you get better. I shared some a few of my poems with my english teacher. She should get back to me about it soon. 1
I realized that most of th
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Death.
It is a fact of life, I suppose. I really don't know much about it except that your life ends when it happens. I also know it can happen in the blink of an eye even when the person seems fine or everything seems peaceful. I don't know. It is a devastating subject, but one we all go through. I suppose if you r
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