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So THAT'S why the compliments sounded like empty words. 1 =.= Isn't it just lovely when you find out someone's dating you... because he's "in love" with your best friend? 2 I CAN'T believe I relapsed over what such a bastard thought of me.
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My, ahem, "significant other" (I despise the word "boyfriend") and I were talking online, complimenting each other, being all cute and lovey-dovey and cheesey. Then he mentioned something about how he doesn't like anorexic-skinny--points in my favor for being thin but not too thin. I said that that was probably the o
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Bad things happen on Tuesdays. If something monumentally horrible happens in my life, it's probably a Tuesday. 1 This time, it was a doctor visit. 2 Let's flash back to almost two years ago--also on a Tuesday. It's exactly one week after my (Tuesday) suicide attempt, and the shrink ordered me to get a checku
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by damned in fear on Jul 10 12:41 PM, In Adultery, Anorexia, Bulimia, Depression, Pain. 700 words. → Make first comment?
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I've been trying to recover from stupid-faced bulimia (yes, I DO have the maturity level of a kindergartener, and yes, I DID say stupid-faced). 1 Six and a half weeks. 2 Sometimes they were miserable; other times I was restricting and they were fine... if not still hard. 3 I'd almost forgotten just how shby Avalanche.Echo on Jun 19 10:25 PM, In Bulimia, Eating disorder, Personal, Spur of the moment, Thoughts. 200 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
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One of these days, I WILL get over my bulimia. I have to. My sister was having her 22nd birthday party (which consisted of just us and our 2 other sisters). We were dancing around, singing stupid songs. I didn't even have more than a tiny piece of the cake. And I purged. Worse than that, I cut. I haven't doneby Avalanche.Echo on May 4 11:13 PM, In Bulimia, Depressed, My life, Spur of the moment, Teen. 100 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
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Last night, mid-binge, I realized something. Bulimia hurts, gives me crappy teeth and dizzyness and paranoia. And made me gain weight. Why the hell should I stay with it? I think part of the reason that it's so hard for me to quit is that I'm an endorphine junkie--which is why I couldn't stop cutting till I becamby Avalanche.Echo on Apr 27 6:49 PM, In Bulimia, Mia, My life, Teenage thinking. 100 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
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Now, it's okay. It's just fine. I don't even like him like that, anymore. But still. Maybe I should backtrack... I told one of the few friends who didn't know that I was bulimic, because he asked (after I got kind of mad at a bulimia joke another friend told). I also told him that I hadn't purged in 9 days, which Iby Avalanche.Echo on Feb 21 10:33 PM, In Bulimia, Contemplative, Eating disorder, Friends, Journal, My life, Teen. 600 words. → Make first comment?
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You want to vent? Go ahead, I'm all ears. Breaking down? I've got two good shoulders you can cry on. Think you're fat? Sweetie, you're twice as skinny as I am, you're nowhere near fat, have a cookie.
... And all this with a smile on my face.
FUCK IT.
I'm so tired of pretending to be ha
by Avalanche.Echo on Feb 9 9:56 PM, In Bitter, Bulimia, Depression, Eating disorder, First person, My life. 600 words. → 5 comments, Add one? -
(Not that anyone's actually going to read this, but I need to stick it somewhere that's not in a notebook because that gives me writer's cramp, and this just gives me carpal tunnel )
It's not like I haven't lied to myself about this before. I'm going to stop, I'll never do it again, I'm gett
by Avalanche.Echo on Feb 4 7:10 PM, In Addiction, Angst, Bulimia, Eating disorder, My life, Non-fiction. 200 words. → Make first comment?
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