The New Experience

Where I'm from, people don't get treated this way. It's not that we don't worry. We worry. We worry all the time, actually.

We worry about where the next neighborhood watch meeting will be held. We worry about why the supermarket across the street from that small sushi place closed down. We worry about the news-- yesterday's news, today's news, and what will soon be on tomorrow's news. We worry about the stock market-- bull market, bear market. We worry about each other.

Where am I now? What type of zoo is this?

The zookeepers are busy eating sugar and dough while sipping cups of hot roasts; staining their clothes and loosening their belts, as always. The animals roam about in stampedes, all hurrying to the same place to do the same thing, to make a living. The feed is out in the open air, yet no one animal just takes it as their own without the issuing of a flawed and corrupt bartering system-- all of them, slaves to this dirty practice. There is no fence or wall surrounding the zoo to prevent the escape of animals, just the instilled thoughts of fear of what is out in the world unknown.

New York City used to be so grand and overwhelming. The city just doesn't look that way anymore. The only things grand are the tall towers of industrial steel and man's sweat-- always being built toward the sky, but never really reaching it, just enough to scrape a bit of the sky's surface. The only overwhelming thing is the amount of thick, crimson colored liquid-- drowned in it's own iron and platelets-- that has created a pool around my abdominal area.

Some dreams just don't come true, especially the great ones.

It only took five minutes, five minutes in this zoo, for something catastrophic to happen to a young, suburban guy like me. I cannot comprehend why no one in this place cares.

I've lost count. I don't know how many money driven minions have passed the area I will die in-- only to glance down at me like I was canine who just lost all that is cute about him. I even remember a smirk or two-- those sadistic bastards.

I will lay here. I don't know how long it will take, but I will lay here until I die. My last thoughts being the life I had once lived in suburban America. I wish so much that the neighborhood watch group I once ridiculed and drove to it's edge would come to my rescue. I'd much rather worry about the news and the stock market than to worry about how soon I will die. How many more seconds of suffering?

Ah, but what is this moment without the thought of love? There she is, just as I last saw her. My memory never ceases to amaze me. So beautiful-- smile to show how much you loved it there with me on your left at all times. I'm sorry, darling. I know you miss me. I miss you too.

They say that your whole life flashes quickly before you when faced with death. In my case, I guess all I had were regrets.

Well, no more time to lament now. I can see the light already.