Beyond... (full finished)

The rapture happened long ago now peace is upon the new world of Eden, a small providence between Heaven and Hell. It turns out that to avoid temptation from Satan; God has put us in his sight to be looked upon. Humans, however, unless pure of heart are unaware that they are not on Earth anymore. I, although just a kid, am.

When I was six an angel came to me and said, "State your morals."

I said, " What should they be?"

Then he answered me, "You will know in time," and disappeared.

Early the next morning a demon appeared in my bedroom doorway and said, "No matter what you do Satan will have you!"

He lingered for a second then vanished.

Two weeks time had passed since the angel had come. I hadn't told anyone about my two encounters, but I did pay a lot more attention in my history class, since we were learning about the pre-rapture Earth. It is amazing how it managed to have all that sin and still be better than Hell. I was writing my response paper when I was told to go to the front of the school. When I reached the front of the school I was greeted by the angel. This time I answered the question as if it was the first time I had heard it,

I said, "To be the reprimander of peace."

The angel gave me a peculiar look as if silently in his mind he was laughing at me. Then he asked me to explain my answer after I finished my explanation he said,

"Oh you mean the protector of peace; good now follow me."

The angel lead me to the timid land of Pearly Gates, about five cloud lengths away from Heaven. As he greeted St. Peter at the golden gates of Heaven and resumed to leading me into Heaven; the angel turned to me and said,

"Welcome to Heaven, you are here because God has seen something very promising in your future; I pray we won't regret it."

Curiously, I started to wonder if my mother has noticed that I was missing; so I turned to the angel and asked him if she knew I wasn't at school. He said,

"God has already told your mother that you are with me and going to be living here in Heaven." Then the angel turned to a table and picked up a white shirt, pants, and hat; then he turned to me and said,

"These are your dress clothes, God's gift to you; put them on."

"Good," he said,"now have a seat."

Puzzled I asked the angel why he wanted me to sit and he told me that my hair was to be cut.

After I was all cleaned up the angel handed me a schedule and he finally told me his name, but I was too busy looking at the schedule that I didn't hear him. I noticed the angel was giving me a funny look, but before I could ask him anything he said,

"I'm not going to repeat my self."

"Well,"I asked him,"do you want to know my name?"

He turned around to face me then said,

"I already know your name, Zyferial."

He then looked at me stern in the eye and said,

"You have been brought here because you have been found pure of heart and if you remain the way you are God will give you a purpose.'

We just came up on a building, when he stopped in his place and said,

"Here is your room-and I'm not going to answer anymore of your questions until I feel you are going to listen to my answers."

He then told me, while giving me a tour of the grounds, that another angel named Ressifeld was my mentor and if I had anymore questions to ask him. Then he made like an angel and was gone.

When I turned around I stood facing a young angel, he said,

"I'm your roommate Fasarield; Ressifeld will be here shortly."

About an hour passed when an angel, with the wisdom of age, came and told us; to come the time is now you two will be reviewed by the patriarch prophets for tasking.

We walked for some time when finally we arrived at a huge courtroom-like setting with angels surrounding all sides. We then stood facing three angels that were set high on a bench above us. We prayed then sat.

The patriarch prophets called Fasarield to the stand; then Ressifeld read out Fasarield's history and the patriarch prophets turned to Fasarield and said,

"Fasarield, you must prove that your heart has really changed or you will be sent back to which you've came; now Fasarield you are dismissed."

Then the patriarch prophets turned to me and said,

"Zyferial, stand and state your history and morals; but first tell us what the demon said to you."

I told them what the demon said; then I told them about my past.

Before the patriarch prophets left they told me that I would train to become a messenger angel; unless someone thinks you will be able to handle something more difficult. Then they left and I was dismissed.

When I got to my room I noticed that Fasarield wasn't there. Ressifeld must have noticed the look on my face, because he told me that all the angels were meeting to discuss my fate. Before I had a chance to ask him anything he told me to get some rest and then he left.

The next morning Ressifeld woke me up and took me to school. On the way to first period I asked Ressifeld where Fasarield was and he stopped, turned to me and said,

" Fasarield is flying over holes and getting tired as we angels call it; otherwise known as skating on thin ice. He is in counseling and re-education training."

He told me that he would pick me up after school and drop me off at my training; I'm going to be trained as a messenger angel just like the patriarch prophets said.

My first period class was P.E. ( primary education ) My second period class was M.E. ( mental education ) My third period class was C.T. ( concentration and tranquility )

My fourth period class was F.M. ( focus and manifestation ) My fifth period class was H.H. ( history of heaven ) Sixth period was lunch. My seventh period was D.R. ( duty and religion)

After school Ressifeld dropped me off at my first day of training. Once I was inside an angel showed me to my seat and while looking really closely at him I realized that he was the same angel that brought me to Heaven in the first place.

Then I looked back up and realized that the class was leaving, but there was a note on my desk that the angel must have left for me that read,

"Since we both know you won't listen to me; I took the liberty of writing my name down for you. I am Mykal. Now pay attention."

Remembering that the class was leaving before I started reading the angels note, and that it now had left, I ran out of the room so fast that I ran through the class and right over a cliff. One of the angels in the class ran to catch me, but Mykal stopped him and said to me, as I was still falling,

"If you trust God he will save you, but if you don't you will fall faster."

So I cleared my mind of everything, but my faith in God and a force lifted me back to safety right in front of the class. Unable to express my gratitude fast enough I hollered,

"THANK YOU GOD!"

Then the whole class smiled.

At the end of the day Mykal told me if I keep this much faith in god that I would earn my wings sooner than any angel expects. With that said I scurried on back to my room to attend my homework.

The next day in H.H. we learned what happened to make Hell. Apparently Hell did not exist until Lucifer, an angel, got too big for his britches and persuaded one third of the angels that God had to go; in response the remaining angels and God opposed Lucifer and his followers creating an all out civil war in Heaven.

By the time the war was over only God, one half of God's followers, and Lucifer were left alive. God, even after Lucifer's betrayal, showed mercy to Lucifer and locked him in a portion of Heaven. Then God snapped his fingers and condemned that portion of Heaven with eternal darkness and a lake of fire. God then said,

"Lucifer, give me the pleasure to welcome you to Hell."

After school I went to training and learned how to let my mind write for me.

When I got home angels had gathered in front of my and Fasarield's room. I heard an angel say that there was demon in my room, but before I could get a good look Mykal took me away and the next thing I knew I was the one being questioned.

Mykal was asking me questions that I couldn't possibly answer, questions like: How long have you known? Were you in on it? Finally Ressifeld showed up and told Mykal to ease up a bit, then he turned to me and said,

"We got a confession, now we all must go to the trial; I can't be late."

At the trial I noticed two things; the first was a light over the patriarch prophet's heads. The second was that all the angels seemed to bow down to it. Then I realized the light was God and bowed down too. About five minutes later the patriarch prophets said,

"The trial to decide Fasarield's fate is now in session, Ressifeld you may begin."

Ressifeld presented his case; then the patriarch prophets called me to the stand and asked me,

"Do you know what a demon is?"

I answered them,

"I think a demon is an angel that has had a change of faith."

They answered me,

"Good, do you know why Fasarield was raiding your stuff?"

I answered,

"Because he is nosy."

When I answered their question for some reason all the angels burst out laughing. Then the patriarch prophets shot Ressifeld a you-haven't-told-him-yet look and said,

"No, Zyferial, he was raiding your stuff because at your birth a prophecy was written on you that stated: seek the one that is of good and evil for there shall be a war and the side that has him shall rule over Heaven and Hell."

They then clarified that I am the seeker and I am the only one that can find the other half of the prophecy.

The patriarch prophets then told Fasarield that since they couldn't send him back to Hell to speak what he has heard his wings will be cut off and he will be left in exile on Broken Cloud; that no angel can reach without getting stranded there themselves.

Then two angels carried away Fasarield and God extended his hand so they could reach Broken Cloud; then he pulled his hand back when they were safely home. As I was leaving the patriarch prophets confronted me and said,

"Let us know if you are revealed anything."

The next morning when I woke up there was a boy in Fasarield's old bed; so I introduced myself and asked him what his name was. Then Ressifeld walked in and said,

"Ah, Zyferial, I see you have met Zylin he will be attending school with you."

So I asked Ressifeld,

"What kind of training will he have?"

And Ressifeld answered me,

"He will be preforming the same training as you."

Ressifeld then dropped us off at school.

After school we went to training. While we were at training Zylin fell on Barin, an angel that is also flying over broken clouds and also getting tired, twice and and apologized.

When training was over Ressifeld was no where to be found, but Baron was there and he pushed me into the south side wall of the school and started punching Zylin. I looked around for Mykal but he was no where to be found. So with no angel in sight I jumped on Baron, tackled him to the ground and sat on him until Mykal came running out of his office and said,

" That was a very courageous and noble act that you did, Zyferial, taking on someone twice your size to protect someone half your size with out inflicting pain to him; I'm very proud of you."

At that moment Ressifeld showed up and took Zylin to the medic while Mykal took me my room.

When I got to my room I went to bed.

The next morning when I woke up I had wings, but I was so eager to see Zylin that I forgot that I had them; until I reached Zylin's bed at the medic and he said,

"Nice wings, do they fly well?"

I answered him,

"I don't know; I was so eager to see how you were doing that I forgot I had them."

At that moment Ressifeld walked in and said,

"Congratulations, Zyferial, you have earned your wings; now I must show you how to use them, follow me."

Ressifeld lead me to Flyer's Cliff, and after much inspection I noticed it was the same cliff that I fell off of three months ago.

Ressifeld then told me,

"You are not a bird there aren't any air currents in Heaven you must use faith to lift you through the air, but you must still flap your wings."

Then he told me to spread my wings, dive and believe. I couldn't believe it I was actually flying, until another angel crashed right into me; the last thing I saw was Broken Cloud.

When I came to my senses Ressifeld said,

"Don't try to move, you have a broken wing; but it was a good thing that you were there or Barin would have reached Broken Cloud."

Confused I asked Ressifeld,

"How could Baron have reached Broken Cloud with out getting stranded there himself?"

Ressifeld's answer was,

"All angels will eventually recover their strength and if he would have reached Broken cloud we wouldn't be able to clip his wings and he would have been able to get Fasarield off; you see angels will recover, but wings won't grow back."

Later I waltzed on home to my room ashamed that it only took me ten minutes to brake my wing when it had taken me three weeks to earn them. I must have been talking out loud because Zylin walked up behind me and said,

"It isn't your fault; besides at least you have wings."

I thanked him for his up lifting comment then I gawked at the sight of the light, the turned on light, in our room. We walked in slowly and catiously to find that it was a gathering of angels, specifically my teachers, among them was Mykal.

Mykal was sitting on my bed with his face in his hands, he wasn't crying although he might as well have been. When he noticed the peculiar look on my face that was directed towards him, he stood up and asked Zylin to wait outside.

After Zylin was out of the room, Mykal turned to me and said,

"We have horrible news and we have been debating whether to tell you, but we have made the decision to let you decide if you want to hear what we have to say."

So I braced myself and told them that I wanted to know. Then they told me that my mother was murdered by a group of demons that were sent to apprehend me. Through this shock, I managed to pull myself back together and told Mykal that I needed to attend your mother's funeral.

At that moment Mykal said to me,

"Tomorrow I will take to the place where the clouds move thin in Heaven, through them you should be able to see your mother's funeral."

Looking very quizical, I asked Mykal,

"Why can't I attend my mother's funeral in person?"

He said,

"Because it is just what Satan expects you to do."

With the conversation settled Zylin and I went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning eager to see my mother's funeral. I had just got done getting dressed when a young girl angel barged into my room and said,

"Hello Zyferial, my name is Jafooree, Mykal sent me to take you to you mother's funeral; he also wanted me to tell you that he is sorry that he can't do it himself but a bunch of messages piled up on his desk over night and he has to attend to them. Come now follow me."

She then turned and walked away.

As I was following her, I noticed that she looked a little like Mykal; again I must have said something out loud because she turned abruptly towards me and said,

"Mykal is my father."

About an hour had passed when we reached the thin clouds that allowed me to see my mother's funeral. Only when I looked down it wasn't my mother; I didn't know who it was but it wasn't my mother.

Suprised I told Jafooree this and we left so fast that before we realized it we were flying; I was flying, but I didn't understand my wing was supposed to be broken. Again I was thinking out loud because Jafooree said,

"I'm a helping angel, I help and heal whoever is around me."

When we reached my room Ressifeld was wandering aimlessly in the sky above my room almost as if he would be pacing if he were human. It took about five minutes for Ressifeld to notice me, I think he was really thinking hard about something, he flew down andalmost as if someone had told him the that the funeral was a hoax, he said,

"God has given me news to pass on to you, he says Satan is holding your mother ransom and in return for your mother Satan wants you and, the traitor, Fasarield."

I stood half listening to Ressifeld and finally I said,

"Well there's no sense in crying about it; it's not like I can save her without dooming Heaven in the process so lets all just go to bed."

That night I was disturbed by a tingling sensation in my body as if ants were crawling under my skin. I noticed gold writing appearing all over my body in what I guessed to be arameic. Scared I flew over to Ressifeld's room and woke him up. Ressifeld, half awake and half startled, noticed the look in my eyes and said,

"It is alright, Zyferial, those inscriptions are the prophecy; I'll put you in an arameic class so you can learn to read them; for it would be the end of days if anyone else did."

It took me two months to learn arameic, but when I did the scriptures translated into:

The prophet is already known; to the angels he is owned. But alas if the prophet should not choose a side, Fear and Sickness shall walk freely upon the land then all life shall perish.

Puzzled, I flew over to tell Ressifeld the prophecy, but before I could say anything, Ressifeld put his index finger to his lips in a shushing manner then said,

"Zyfreial, I know how eager you must be, but the prophecy is your burdened secret that you must not repeat."

The next day in History of Heaven; the class, myself included, learned about Satan's reign of terror as the anti-christ during the Tribulation. Well, I'm not going to quote every thing, but these are the main parts:

When Satan was thrown into the lake of fire he took 66 percent of the worlds (left behind) population with him.

The other 44 percent were prosecuted by One Nation Earth(a police squadrant made up of the marked ones).

I stopped taking notes afraid I would miss hearing something fascinating; when it dawned on me,

"Femaritro,"I said,"Teacher, sir; if Satan was thrown into the lake of fire how come we still mention him as if he were walking around freely?"

Femaritro answered with a sworn-to-secrecy kind of look on his face,

"Because, Zyferial, there is one person that can set him free; class dismissed."

I went home and fell asleep upon my mental education homework when I had a confusing dream about some sort of spirit, essence if you will, that kept repeating the same strange phrase,

"You are the one that seeks your brother together you two are the twins of Heaven and Hell. The sons of an angel that betrayed God and of a demon that worshiped in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. One of you will seek the other, but it is the one who is sought that shall damn all sides or one."

I woke up abruptly to the sensation that someone had set me on fire. When I was to my senses I noticed Mykal standing in my bedroom doorway with Zylin. I stood up straight instead of slouching and started walking over towards Mykal, but before I reached them the prophecy on my skin lit up along with Zylin; Zylin is my brother and the prophet.

Mykal seemed a little disturbed by this for he knew that Zylin would either save or condemn Heaven. So as I suspected, Mykal asked Zylin,

"Whom do you choose to save?"

Zylin's clothes turned black and his wings frayed, his feathers warped and became brittle. Then Zylin said,

"I don't want to choose a side, I don't want to be responsible for condemning anyone; find someone else."

As soon as Zylin said these disturbing uttered words we recieved news that Fasarield had dropped dead. Heaven was expirencing a sunset as if all the life had left. Demons were dicentigrating as the lake of fire spilled over it's banks.

It was then that I looked on to Lightsburg, two demons named Sickness and Fear were consuming and killing everyone and everything.

When all was dead those two demons met the same fate as the rest. The next thing I knew I felt real cold, Death had struck me.

Author notes

well it has been a long time but it's finally finished

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Rini
    September 20, 2007

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    Not bad. It seemed rather long and dry. I'm not religious, so unless there's a lot of description about people and places, I'm not that interested in angels and demons. Thanks for entering.

  • Danna Hobart
    August 17, 2007

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    Hi

    I am going to be helping to judge this contest. When I comment on a poem or story, it is always with the idea of making the piece publishable. I base my suggestions on things I have learned in college, through my personal reading, and through my own experience in submitting things for publication, as well as working as an editor. Your goal may not be to publish the piece though, and if that is the case, just take the critique for what it is, an opinion, which is neither right nor wrong. Take what works for you and ignore the rest.

    I ask lots of questions when I critique a story. I don’t ask them to challenge you personally, but to challenge your creativity and to help you see your story from a different perspective.

    long ago now peace

    ***There should be a comma after “ago”

    ***It is hard to imagine a 6 year old waking up with an angel or a demon in his room and him not crying out in fear or not even telling anyone.

    "I'm not going to repeat my self."

    ***“myself” is one word.

    the way you are God will

    ***There needs to be a comma after the word “are,” otherwise it reads that Zyferial is God. There are several places where you need to correct punctuation.

    Your plot moved too slowly.

    You don’t explain why Fasarield is “skating on thin ice.” As a reader, I am getting bored with the story because I really can’t bond with the characters. You are simply telling the reader things in a matter of fact sort of way. In order to get your reader to bond with the characters, you have to add more detail- personal types of things, emotions. You tell us what has happened to Zyferial, but we don’t know how he feels when he has to leave his mother. Most children would cry and go through home sickness. He could ask the angel to be allowed to tell his mother good-bye. Is he happy or sad when his roommate left? Were they even friends? What did they talk about in their room alone at night before they fell asleep? What do the rooms look like where they are?

    The story is very confusing, and it does not flow smoothly. Why does Mykal say Zyferial won’t listen to him?

    Try reading the story aloud to yourself. It may help you to hear where things don’t flow well.

    half your size with out inflicting

    “without” is one word.

    Your story is an original spin on the Apocalyptic theme.


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    August 12, 2007
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    Thanks for your entry. I enjoyed reading it. Best of luck


  • Barbara Moderators member
    August 10, 2007

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    One of the rules for the SW presents contest is : Stick with light backgrounds like white, beige, or pastel colors and dark font.


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    August 7, 2007

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    This has great descriptions and the dialog was very real. Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering.
    ~*Brooke*~


  • sly fox
    July 27, 2007

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    I am sorry to tell you that i must delete this story because it is too long. According to the rules it should have been at least a thousand words shorter. I am sure it is a wonderful story and everything, but it is just too long.

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