*Not Yet Finished*
Words cannot describe it
There's no way that I can hide it
Nothing ever seemed to make me feel this way
Ever since you said, "I love you."
I just need the memory of you
To get me through each and every day
Every time we are apart
I am left a broken heart
There isn't much right now that I can say.
Either way I'm stuck right here
And my mind is far from clear
This is dedicated to you anyway
Chorus:
When I - am down and lonely
I seek your arms
Your sarcastic charms
Since I - seem to love you only
This horrible sickness
That moves with such quickness
When I - am in your presence
If only you knew
Had a hint or a clue
Since I - cannot leave you
I'm left with this burning
Something quite concerning
My feelings keep turning
I guess I'm addicted to you
Author notes
Heheh. This just came to my mind. It's quite fast paced. Then with the chorus you hang out the words before the dash. The tune is kinda hard for me to describe, so make up your own! Hope you at least laugh. ^_^
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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awsome^____________^
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It’s pretty good! IV never really seen a song on the site before, but you did it well. The only thing I’m not such a big fan on is the rhyming scheme. but that is the only negative thing I can say about this so good job!
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I definately get a tune from this, probably not the one you had in mind, but it's greatly written anyway! I must say, very catchy and very well written! =)
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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I like it
Sounds catchy even without a tune, and I appreciated reading a song in which all the words were spelled correctly.
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Beautifully and carefully composed.
Not normally into poetry, so my suggestions wouldn’t have much worth. Use to love war ballads when I was younger.
For a Romantic poem, it was enjoyable and clear enough to understand.
beginning: 3, language: 3, ending: 3, characters: 3.
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If my microphone worked, and I could speak without sounding with a frog (sickness is so FUN, you know?), I'd record this and surprise you with it. XD
But oh wellz. -
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lol. I take it you liked it?
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I love how I never replied to your reply comment lol. xD;;;;;;
I'll assume I answered in an IM. ._.;;
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