… a dragon.
I heard Adrian whisper behind me, but I didn't pay attention to what she was saying. I looked down into the pit and there it was. A dark red, 50-foot long dragon, sleeping on the tiny island surrounded by lava. Its wings were pinned back and a small snoring sound came from it as it breathed, not noticing that we were here. I looked again around the room, trying to figure out what to do. Now, any other day, I would say, 'Hey, lets go try to ride that damn thing!' but of course…
Carlos came to my side and whispered softly, "Any ideas?"
I shook my head and headed back to the door. A soft rumble moved against it on the other side… the creatures were still there. Sam looked at the dragon. "There's only one way…we could…um… let me think…"
Well, while your thinking, I will just move over here…
I walked back to the edge of the cliff and lifted myself off the ground. I flew forward slowly and I was soon hanging in the air directly over the dragon. It gave a little snore, but it was completely knocked out. I flew to the other side and landed on the rock. The temperature was way hotter over here than it was where the others were. I looked around and saw the door right in front of me. The trail on the side of the room was narrow… we would have to go one at a time. OR we could work as a group and help each other… GO TEAMWORK! See? Sports DO pay of in the real world. GO TEAM GO!
I looked back to the others to see them talking amongst themselves. Yeah that's right. You guys do the thinking for once… yeesh… I flew back to the other side and joined in the conversation. Carlos turned to me.
"Ok, we decided what to do. Basically, the Earth wielders will use the rock and ride across. The Fire wielders will use the fire in the volcano to ride across. The water wielders will catch a ride with the Earth wielders. As for me, I will just use the shadows from the light and you can fly across."
I nodded my head. "Ok, sounds good." He walked over to Logan and patted him on his back. Logan got on his knees and put his hands on the ground. Slowly, a crack began to form in a circle around him and then slowly, the rock began to lift off the ground and Logan was standing on top of it, balancing himself before taking off to the other side. We all watched to see if got there and as soon as he landed, Sam had done the same. Lauren took a step to the edge of the cliff and raised her staff. Softly, a huge wave of lava rose up from the pit and right in front of her. Adrian and Alex went to her side and helped her construct the wall to bend over the pit, like a bridge. Once it was done, Adrian, Alex, Elle, and Ariel began to slowly… walk across it. I watched their feet. At first, they sunk into the flowy liquid, but as they walked, they were able to gain control and walk casually across. I turned over to see Val making her platform for her and Mary. Terry was hitching a ride with Ricky and Carlos took off to the shadows. I watched a he closed hi eyes and his body quickly disappeared. This is all so badass…
Terry and Ricky took off to the other side and Val and Mary were just about to take off. I lifted myself into the air and flew my way over. I landed to see everyone standing around the door, waiting for Mary and Val. I watched as the platform lifted from the ground and slowly moved its way over. Suddenly, I heard a growling sound and looked down. The dragon was shaking a bit and then… it opened its eyes. Val stopped the platform, right above its head, and waited. The dragon looked around the cave as we all moved against the door, hiding from its view. We all stood quiet. Ricky had his hand over Ariel's mouth to keep her quiet. She was shaking all over. The dragon looked around, and soon, put his head back down and closed his eyes. Val took a breath and kept moving her platform closer to our side.
A loud roar came from below and the next thing I saw was a giant pair of red leathery wings rise up and block Val from coming closer. Everyone screamed and Mary was thrown from the platform. Carlos moved in the shadows, and caught her, landing on the narrow side path of the room. The dragon lifted itself into the air, Val moving the platform over to our side with some trouble, but she made it. The dragon looked around and saw Mary and Carlos on the edge of the wall. He grabbed her and began to shift back into the shadows, but Mary just stood there. The dragon gave a long bellow and raised his head to stare at Mary as Carlos began to reappear by her side. "Carmen!"
I looked over to him and lifted myself high into the air.
"I can't take her with me!" he shouted and the dragon opened its mouth, flashing its teeth threateningly.
I looked down at the others and flew next to the door. I was the one that would be able to reach Mary. I had to be the one to do it. I landed next to the door, and without looking inside, opened it. "Everybody through, now!" Hell, you didn't have to tell them twice. They started running inside, Sam first. What a wuss… but Adrian stayed behind. "I want to help…" "No." And I pushed her through the door and flew off. Simple as that.
I came from behind the dragon and waved over to Carlos, who was now pointing his sword threateningly at the dragon, who snapped at him at times. He nodded his head and with my hand, hit the dragon upside the head with a burst of wind. It gave an angry growl and turned its head to look at me. Great, big, yellow eyes were starring at me with rage as it opened its jaws and began to stretch his wings. Meanwhile, Carlos had moved to the door through the shadows and was now trying to grab the dragon's attention. He used the shadows to make little shadow creatures I guess… at least, that’s what it looked like he was doing. The dragon looked in his direction and as soon as he turned, I flew straight towards the ledge and Mary. She had a fear in her eyes that I had only seen in men who were about to die. Men who didn't deserve to die, but knew that they would anyway. I stood behind her and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I looked over to Carlos who was now standing by the door.
/Open the door porfavor…/ He looked over to me and nodded his head. I picked up Mary and flew up into the air behind the dragon who still had its gaze on Carlos. Carlos opened the door and I flew towards it. He ran inside when he saw me coming and I flew closer and closer. The next thing I know, a sharp pain stings my ankle and I'm pulled away from the door. Mary let out a scream and she held on to me tight as we were sent flying all the way to the side of the cave. I crashed into the wall making sure I turned to my side so that Mary wasn't hurt. She hung on tight and I held her by the waist and gained my balance back in the air. The dragon had his wings spread out now and was gently lifting its self off the ground, making its way towards us. I flew up high into the cave and the dragon followed. We raced to the top, which seemed to never be reached. Soon it was dark, and the dragon was catching up. Next thing I know, a huge burst of fire came from behind me and burned edges of my shirt.
"Ah, come on!" I stopped in the air and fell into a dive. About 20 feet below me was the dragon and he shot another burst of flames as I went shooting past him, heading fast back towards the pit of lava. The heat was almost unbearable. Sweat poured all throughout my body and I was losing grip of Mary. She had a total death grip around my neck… not very comfortable… she had nails… sharp ones…well… better than a hickey I suppose…
I looked behind me a saw the dragon a far ways off. This was my chance. I kept diving down and stopped just above the pit of lava, the heat burning my feet. I waited for the dragon to come closer… and closer… I could see the yellow in his eyes… closer… and…
With a burst of air, I flew up and out of the pit, just scraping my back against its scaly skin. I flew out of the pit and towards the door, still held open by Carlos. I tucked my head into Mary's just as a huge wave of lava came spilling out of the pit where the dragon had crashed. The air felt cold as we came crashing through the doorway and slammed into the floor. We slid about 5 feet before we stopped. I was lying on my back and Mary was on top of me, still gripping my neck, head against my chest, eyes shut. I was breathing hard and Lauren and Ariel came and tried to pull Mary off of me, but she wouldn't move. I took a breath and sat up, pulling her with me. She still wouldn't look up.
I nodded my head. "I don't think she's going to move…"
Lauren grabbed a hold of her arm. "Come on Mary… come on, it's over… "
Mary shook her head against my chest. I sighed. I knew us girls were clingy… but damn.
I took my hands and put them over hers and slowly, opened her hands and she let go of my neck. "Mary… open your eyes…"
She shook her head again.
"Mary… open… your… eyes…"
I waited a minute… everyone was crowded around us now, trying to see if Mary would listen. I had a sharp stinging pain down my back, but Mary wouldn't move.
"Mary… please…"
She shook her head a bit… and then… opened her eyes. She looked up at me and let go of my hands. I gently pushed her off of me as Lauren and Ariel picked her up and led her away. Sam and Elle came to me and helped me lay back and roll over. My cloths smelled like someone threw me in a bar-b-que pit and left me to roast. Ding Ding, stick a fork in me, I think I'm done!
I laid my face against the cool stone floor, my body ached all over and my eyes started to droop. The stinging sensation ran all along my back, and my mind started fading away. I could hear mumbling, but that was about it. My vision was blurry and I felt sleepy… the more I fell asleep, the less pain I felt. I felt so numb. Adrian came over to me and laid down against the floor with me. She stared at me and I watched her as my eyes slowly closed as she took her finger and traced the edges of my face, running down my nose and cheeks. I felt so comfortable… the pain was slowly fading… fading… I fell asleep…
Author notes
Chapter 13
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is really a great chapter...granted I have not read the previous 12 chapters so I'm slightly in the dark. On a whole this is a very well written chapter, however as PlayJazz65 pointed out you do have some work to do.
I like the tone of voice that you used overall, there are just a few places that the execution of said voice just didn't work for me.
The action was good and the last sequence of events (mainly the last paragraph) was great. Keep up the great work!
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This looks like it would be an interesting series.
When posting a chapter like this, I would suggest writing a paragraph describing what has taken place to this point. You are asking me to read a lot of stuff just to catch up.
(")Well, while you('re) thinking(")
And just why can you fly? You are a fairy, just have wings, wear a anti-gravity belt?
"The timperature ---over here" This really doesn't work unless you are actually speaking to someone; i.e., "Hey, it's hotter over here." Maybe "there" would be a better word.
"(")Open the door por( )favor(") Speaking enclosed by quotation marks and on seperate line.
A number of places where dialogue is not put on it's own line, often not enclosed with quotation marks.
"Great, big, --- were starring" Word you want is "staring."
Unless it is time (2:00 AM), numbers are not used but spelled out.
Who the heck doesn't like dragons that fly or someone willing to ride them? You certainly have a way with words and without a lot of edit work this really will be super.
beginning: 1, language: 1, plot: 2, ending: 2, dialog: 1, characters: 1.


