Burnt

As I walked up the driveway, I realized it was worst than I imagined. I glanced at my cell phone. “30 messages?” I had 30 messages on my phone. I really wasn’t in the mood for additional BS from the peanut gallery. As I departed the D concourse of the airport and turned on my phone, I wondered if I should actually listen to one of many possible sniveling former employees asking for a second chance.

I don’t think so. On the hand, the death threats I received lately were short and sweet. I loved civil dysfunctional psychotics. My retainer was better than a Smith and Wesson. But 30 messages? Must be something important. This trip ended well so any urgent messages had to be……….shall I say…useful. 2 button access brought me to a familiar voice.

“Not sure why you haven’t returned any of our calls, but you need to get to your house then to the warehouse.” A familiar voice on my voice mail was my assistant. She seemed frantic yet decisive. “Your home was set on fire and……and……… the business was bombed.” Her voice sounded more fragile as the last statement faded into the hum of the escalators descending from the concourse. “Please call as soon as possible, there’s also something with the accounts as well”. “Call me………..please!” The caller paused and paused again before hanging up. “What in the hell is…….” I realized I was yelling out loud and broke my thought back into an inner monologue. I hated people walking around who seemed to be talking to themselves but then realizing they had a hands free earpiece on. Inconsiderate bastards. There were numerous others who called with similar messages of fraudulent concerns and tears that made my stomach turn as I deleted each one. My pace quickened as I strode through the long term parking lot bypassing the pedestrian baggage claim without recovering my luggage. Anger and despair quickly flooded my brain like an Asian Tsunami hitting the shores of my frontal lobe. Why now, why?? 3 weeks ago my wife left me not requesting any compensation other than to be left alone with no further contact. The hell with her, trophy wives were a dime a dozen. How could she? My life was hers and my life was…………. “Clear your head Ken. That has nothing to do with this.” My rational conscience spoke to me only when weakness seemed to engulf me. I steadied my self and proceeded on. The fool in the next slot parked less than 1 foot from my door. If I would have had my truck, I would have left a very disagreeable abrasion on his classless transportation. I pulled from the spot and had no desire to let the car warm up. A Lexus performs on cue, like its master.

Traveling down the rural stretch reminded me of the solace of being away from people. Those damn people. People who always wanted a hand out or those who salivated over others wealth. I loathed the city, but one must do. My mind floated as I peered through the clear view in front of me. The colors of the autumn leaves always reminded me of the mosaic cloths of Malaysia. What a kaleidoscope of beauty. This was my path of solitude; I feared the end of this road would be the end of my dream.

I seemed to replayed the same message over and over in my head. “Your home was set on fire and……and……… the business was bombed.” Damn it!! “Your home was set on fire and……and……… the business was bombed.” I seemed to appear at the base of estate without knowing how and when I got out of my car. The lights of the squad cars danced in the early dawn like fireflies searching for companions.

As I walked up the driveway, I realized it was worst than I imagined. My words seemed to repeat it’s self like a scratched 45. My estate resembled the devastation of Sarajevo.

How could someone destroy my memories and accomplishment for the sake of their mere enjoyment? The eternal scream engulfed my skull as I grasped my face to cover my shame and visible pain.

“Do you have any idea who may have done this?” The policeman spoke abruptly towards my left ear that startled me and caused my equilibrium to waver.

With my head still in my hands I walked away from him as well as 3 others that scurried around like worthless pigeons in the park.

I walked into what used to be the grand foyer of my estate that now was reduced to ash, embers and broken glass. The clenching of my eyelids placed additional pressure on my brain that was initially caused by the toxic environment I was inhaling. The sickness rising within me shook my fragile existence as the crunching sounds beneath my feet echoed like a mouth full of rice krispies. I feel ill. As I unwittingly slumped forward, my knees seemed to adjust to an unknown increase in weight as they bent ever so slightly. The sound of my watch rhythmic ticking activated the use of my hands as I reached out for balance. The watch. The one item that linked my love to my ………….love.

“She is not your wife anymore. She left you, remember?” My conscience had timing better than well thrown Curt Schilling pitch. The comfort of the banister steadied my forward momentum temporarily.

“Sir, are you OK?” “Can I get you anything?” The keystone cop returned once again with renewed pestering.

“You can get the hell away from me!” came whimpering out as I expelled what was a cross between sot, ash and the Grey Goose that travel with me as my constant traveling companion.

“No need for that type of language sir, I’m just concerned.” The police officer sounded 100 feet away as my consciousness seemed to dive into the deep in of the pool of my mind.

Concerned? How could a civil service worker know the concerns of a man of my stature? “Listen you…….” My words were cut off like an overzealous driver swerving off the on ramp. “Aaaah!!” I bellowed. The scream was external now. No machismo in the world could hold this one back. The pain of the dry heave felt like a late trimester contraction that reduced me to my knees. The marble was hard and unforgiving. The room moved nonstop as if I were trapped around the Arc de Triomphe. I felt myself losing control, loosening a grip on this unreal reality which is now my life. I felt cold marble on the side of my face as I crashed slowly to the ground. My head slowly pulled up to the curb of darkness and I welcomed the new reality.