I could feel her body next to me, warm and caring.
Touching and rubbing her hair, I smiled all the time.
She was looking her best, but all the while, her face was turned away from me.
Finally, I wanted to kiss her.
I turned her around, to face me.
Where her lips, nose and eyes was supposed to be, a smooth and pale surface met me.
She was completely faceless, hair hanging next to her faceless skin.
It was another one of those faceless dreams.
I awoke, sweat running down my face, burning my eyes.
Crying, I went over to the mirror.
My cheekbones were tense, as if I was biting and clenching.
Tears saltened my lips, mixing with sweat.
The faceless dreams were haunting me.
Telling me that I could never find another one again.
In my life, I had come to trust only one.
Love, only one.
But she died with yesterday.
Walking down the street, I would sometimes see her.
She was always walking in front of me, so that I could only see her back.
I never caught up with her, even if I ran.
To all others, I must seem crazy, but I never cared much for others anyway.
Every now and then, I would see someone in a crowd.
Someone with long brown hair and a red dress.
Whenever they would look at me, they would lack a face.
I would fall backwards, as the faceless creature approached me.
Around me, several more faceless creatures would appear.
And then I awoke again, removing sweat from my brow.
Sometimes, I saw her in the windows, in the corners.
She would seem to smile, until I fixed my gaze on her.
Then she would be gone, long gone.
The absence of her beauty would sometimes give me fever.
The doctors told me there was something wrong with me, but only with my mind.
And as I fell asleep in the night, I realized that they were right.
Again, crying, I awoke from my slumber.
She had appeared again.
Oh how I missed her.
How I missed her beauty, her lips.
How I missed that face.
I decided there was nothing left to do for me.
On the roof of an hotel, I made my final stand.
Cold wind slapped my face as I looked over the edge of the building.
Several hundred feet right down, I would go bye-bye.
But in the last second, right before I was about to jump, I saw a red object in the corner of my eye.
I turned around as quick as I could, and there she was.
Her red dress was flapping violently in the wind, and so was her hair.
The long brown hair covered her face, but I could see that there was nothing there.
I smiled at her as I jumped off the edge.
Author notes
An un-edited piece that I just finished...
Just thought I'd post it... Been a long time since last post... Been in Spain for a few weeks =P
Just wanted to say; "Hey, I'm back!" =)
A contest entry
- Inspiration From Dreams and Other Options by sugarrrainbow.
225 points, ended July 18, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Quick Quickies: Shorties by tallblondie.
210 points, ended July 8, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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oh, my that was sick, in the good way!
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Ooh, I very much enjoyed this one. I loved your imagery and your ideas simply blow me over. I've read about a number of stories before this one and I really felt the chills up my spine after reading this. This is the second one that I've read from your collection and I think that nothing else could be said anymore except for the fact that it was a very enjoyable read. Wonderul.
. Rewarded 6
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WOW!
I loved this a lot, it was creepy, the whole faceless thing, but it was so...so...I don't think I have a word for it.
It was an amazing story, and I loved "but she died with yesterday" and "the absence of her beauty would give me fever".
It's those kind of sentences that really make the story.
Great job!
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scary....
i liked your writing style in this very much though...
it leaves the reader wondering as to why the narrator is like this..? lost love? itd be great if there was another part coming
anyway, great job ^^
. Rewarded 4
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Welcome back! I only just saw this *taps brain* x.x sorry!!!!!
Mads.. it's weird.. the past few days (maybe weeks!), I've been having strange dreams... nothing like this, though, with faceless people just fading... but I can imagine it as scary... now I am wondering if he dreamt all these or if he was just being haunted by a dead lover?
Many years back, I wrote this crazy story called "Crystal Clear".. it was not crystal clear at all, lmao.. we had the same ending, where someone jumped at the edge, but I love how you just.... made things somewhat beautiful even with that...
I love it when you described her dying with yesterday.. Yesterdays DO die... I mean, time fades and with it, our "yesterdays" die...
One tiny suggestion
And then I awoke again, removing sweat from my brow.
Instead of removing, I think "wiping" shall be a better verb, since we tend to wipe sweat away from brows?
Anyway, Mads.. Thanks for this great work.. glad Spain didn't hog you all to itself
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I don't understand why other people see this as horror... To me, this is a wonderful depiction of loss and sadness. Also, a bit o' insanity (haha, my favorite).
A couple word typos but nothing major.
Welcome back!
. Rewarded 4
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oh very creepy! Great hook. dark, but not too dark, where it becomes tedious... enjoyed the read.
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Wow, this was great and creepy at the same time. the writing was right brillant. The whole story felt a little bit insane and i could feel with the character. I could feel the lose and fear. Wow, that was a great read, thanks for the enjoyment. This would totally make a good horror film! lol! it really would. i now i said this before, but you really brought on the creepy factor. Great, great job! keep it up!
--Greeneyes
. Rewarded 8
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I love this. It...kinda scared me. And in a way made me want to cry as I've felt this way before. Great job, as always. We have got to chat sometime. I miss you!
. Rewarded 4
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One of the best things i've read in a good minute loved it
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I loved it. The message was written in a way I haven't read before, I have never heard of a 'faceless dream' or anything close to it. That was original. Great job.
*Frozen Angel* -
Have you ever seen 'The Grudge'?
This had a very sinister 'Grudge' like feel to me. Creepy, eerie, I love the image of the wind slapping him round the face.
Great to read your work again, good to have you back!
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saad. It was pretty freaky...faceless people, you better hope I don't get a nightmare. Anyway I haven't read anything on storywrite in a while I've been M.I.A lol, ttyl
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Hey, thanks for liking it =)
I've still not returned fully mentally
So I've been reading very little lately, but I'll try to change that... ttyl =)
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welcome back! how was Spain?
i really like the idea of the faceless people and how the narrator tries to find the one he's lost in others but they're not her: they're faceless. that's what i thought anyway =]
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this is awesome. i dont believe ive ever had a faceless dream....or i have and never known it. i like this mads. and welcome back!
s LJ
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I have never had a dream like I describe here, but I often find peoples faces in dreams to be blurry and unrecognizable, and that inspired me a little here =)
Thanks for liking it, and it's great being back! =D
I'll talk to you soon =)
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Pretty cool idea. I notice that whenever I have dreams where I'm the main character, it's always me and two other faceless people. They always get killed first. LOL
Nice job!
. Rewarded 4
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