Between Heaven And Hell: Chapter 1

Carrie looked out of her bedroom window, her cell. The walls of her house closed in around her, locking her body away in a prison she was forced to call home. But her heart and soul lay out, far beyond the borders of their property. Her heart lay with Ashton. Her memories of his soft words and gentle touch soothed her throughout the lonely nights, and wiped the glistening tears from her cheeks. She let out a long, painful sigh, and fell back onto the bed.

She groaned as a soft tap on her door broke through the darkness. Moodily she lifted herself from the top of the sheets and undid the many locks that allowed her to barricade herself from the rest of the household. Carrie’s mother stood in the doorway, a tray in her hands and a soft, pleading smile on her lips. She surveyed her mother from behind her dark, hollow eyes and pressed herself back into the shadows, silently allowing her mother to enter and place the tray on the table in the far corner of the room.

“Carrie,” She sighed. “Ashton wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself. He would want you to be happy. What if word somehow got to him that you were doing this to yourself? He’d feel horrible, he already does feel horrible.” Carrie remained silent and turned her gaze back out the window to the west. Somewhere, although she didn’t know where, was Ashton. Was he just as miserable as she was? Would he blame himself for her depression? She hoped not, but those words left Carrie feeling uneasy as her mother left the room, feeling defeated once more.

Catching her reflection in the mirror, Carrie, for the first time in weeks, looked at her appearance. Her eyes, once a brilliant blue, looked cold and empty. Dark strands of brown hair hung untidily over her pale, waxen face. She looked, almost dead in the moonlight that now dripped into the room. Angrily she moved to her vanity table and punched the mirror, spilling glass across her untouched makeup.

“Carrie!” Her father yelled from the bottom of the stairs. “What in the Hell was that?” Carrie didn’t answer. Instead she hurried to the door and latched the several locks, then sank back into the shadows yet again. Her father’s footsteps echoed up the stairway and he pounded angrily on the door. “Come out of your damn room Carrie! You’ve locked yourself away for three damn weeks and I’m tired of babying you! Get out here now!”

Carrie closed her eyes and sank further back into the corner, stepping down hard on the shards of glass scattered across the floor, allowing them to cut deeply into the bottom of her bare feet. She embraced the pain, and for a moment, even contemplated opening the door so her father could add even more bruises to her body, but she thought better of it. Very often, her father would get carried away with himself, and there was no stopping him once he started. No, she didn’t want so much pain she couldn’t move from her bed. Although, death almost seemed welcoming. This though, she could not do. She couldn’t break the final promise she made to Ashton. She wouldn’t let herself.

Across the room at the bottom of her dresser drawer lay several letters Ashton had written to her, although, he hadn’t been able to write for some time now, causing her to slip further into her depression. Carrie moved across the room and shakily opened the drawer and extracted the letters. The ink was fading slightly, but she had read them so much, they now lay perfectly flat on the table, despite the folds in the paper. With tear filled eyes she read the letter on top.

Dear Carrie,

I had so much fun today. I love your smile, it’s so sweet. I fall even more in love with you every time I see it, I swear. And I meant what I said today too, nothing, not even God himself could keep me from you. I don’t see why my parents are so against us dating. But I think they’ll accept it sooner or later. You’re so sweet, and someday, hopefully soon, they’ll learn to see that. Once they do, I know they’ll love you, just as much as I do. Won’t it be great, walking down the aisle with me? Only another two years, and I can ask you to be mine, and we can run off together. It will be so great, just you and me. I promise I’ll treat you like a princess. I want to make all your wishes and dreams come true, Carrie. You are everything to me. Your smile lights up my world and when I look into your eyes I feel like there is nothing wrong with the world. As long as I can hold you in my arms, I’m complete. Without your love, I think I might just die.

I love you Carrie Marie Schultz,

Love,

Ashton

Carrie set the letter back down on the table and picked up the one beneath it. With tear filled eyes she read as all the memories came back to her.

To my Dearest

I love you. Always, always remember that. My parents have been talking more lately, about how they don’t want us together. I was so sure they’d come around by now, I don’t know why they don’t want us together Carrie. It doesn’t matter though. We just have to sneak around for another year, and then I’ll be eighteen. Then, they can’t stop me, no matter what. I’ll always be here for you. I’m yours forever.

Love Always,

Ashton

She lay that letter down with the next one. Her eyes now filling up even more with tears as she picked up the next one. Her heart twisted in protest as she picked it up. But she didn’t care. She was so wounded now, a few more scratches wouldn’t matter much.

I’m sorry Carrie. I should never have snuck out to see you, but I just couldn’t be away from you. I missed you so much, and now we’re both paying the price. I just had to see you before they sent me off to boot camp. I couldn’t go without one last kiss goodbye. I’m so sorry for all of this. And now, they’re telling me I wont be coming back. They’re still sending me to boot camp. But it’s a different one, and according to my father, even more strict, and they won’t tell me where its located. After I get out, they said they’re sending me to live with a relative, one who I’ve only met a few times. I don’t know where they live though. I don’t know where I’ll be for the next year. I’ll try to write when I can, I promise. Don’t write back if I do though. I’ll try to let you know where I am. I’ll find a way to write to you. Any time I contact you, it will have to be in secret. I’ve been forbidden to even speak your name, let alone talk to you. It’s a miracle that I’m even able to get this to you. My brother John warned me this is a one time thing. He wont go behind my parents back for us, other than this one time, just because he knows how confused and hurt you’d be if I just left. Please, remember the promise you made to me the night I came though. Please, don’t do anything rash. I love you. Cling onto that and I promise, I’ll come back for you. Hold onto what we had. Our one, carefree summer, just you and I.

Remember Carrie, I’ll love you forever.

Ashton

Carrie hadn’t received any letters since this one from her beloved Ashton. Her father, who had never approved of the relationship she had with Ashton, gloated at the fact that he had been snatched away. To make matters worse, he accepted a job transfer two weeks later, sending them across the country to the outskirts of New York City. Now, Ashton would never find her again. She was lost, floating in limbo, somewhere between life and death, never to be freed.