Discriminated
Decisions made against me
Injustice builds around me
This is the pain of reality
Betrayed
Stabbed in the back
On every side there is deception
This is the pain of love and affection
Killed
Beaten into a pulp
Ending all this horrible strife
This is the pain of life
Suppressed
Forced to keep my mouth shut
Voices do not echo properly
This is the pain of equality
Abandoned
Left outside alone
All around me is the coldness
This is the pain of happiness
Shattered
No longer in existence
No mark, no accomplishments it seems
This is the pain of dreams
Lost
Forgot my way
No one around me in this loneliness
This is the pain of togetherness
Depressed
The knife close to my heart
There is no use in believing anymore
This is the pain of hope1
Author notes
Another one of those poems that pop into my mind... These are the pains in this world, which i could think off, i might work on it more if i figure more pains muahahaa...
In a list
A contest entry
- Remind me of the power in our words... by Forgotten Anomaly.
600 points, ended November 20, 51 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Crazy Good
This is simple and just great. Your repetition makes this rock, and this is the kind of thing I could imagine being in a real song. Like some goth heavy metal or something.
This was really an amazing poem, great work.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
-
Lol, thanks for the comment, I didn't really think of goth heavy metal. Thanks for the comment!
-
-
Wow. Dark and painful...I feel the emotion, it speaks to me. Lovely and dramatic.
-
I think it is very good, it expresses your pain, though I can't personally agree with it, if I did I might just have to give up and that helps nobody.
Nice structure though, I think it is very effective. -
i like abandoned =P nice description thou =D
-
coolio!! this is, i think, the best poem you've written so far..i can't write free-verse poems..no idea really comes to my mind! about what to write! :S but good job to you
!!
-
I like the part about your voice being supressed, that was really very cool.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
