I poured my heart out to you
And you left me with barely an acknowledgment
That you'd heard a word I said
Had you even listened?
It hurt to tell you
But it hurt more the way you left
I looked into your bloodshot eyes
Not even seeing the hazel
I walked right past you
And pretended it didn't hurt
Pretended like I hadn't been crying
Did you know that I was?
Do you even care?
I poured my heart out to you
And you brushed it off like it was nothing
And maybe it is
Maybe it means nothing, all that I told you
Perhaps it would have been best
If I'd only held my tongue
Does it matter that I feel alone?
Does it matter that you mean the world to me?
Does it matter that I've cried numerous times
Because of how much I love you
And how much I want to be with you?
Does it matter that I've drowned in your hazel eyes?
Does it matter, anything that I said?
I poured my heart out to you
Do you even care?
When I said good night to you
Did you even look at me?
Did you notice
How pretty I made myself look for you?
Maybe someday
My words will get the respect they deserve
Maybe someday
You will show me you care
You do care, don't you?
You do love me, don't you?
Of course, you say you do
But really, do you?
Maybe someday
This will all mean something to you
Or maybe someday
I'll stop caring
A contest entry
- Your Life by Taylor Renee.
100 points, ended September 30, 2007, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Heart and Soul by Greeneyes15.
175 points, ended August 5, 2007, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - You will never let me down by Sunless Spirit.
100 points, ended August 31, 2007, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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See?I like this last few lines
Maybe someday
This will all mean something to you
Or maybe someday
I'll stop caring
This means somthing to me. It says 'I'll wait for you, but I wont wait forever' kind a thing.
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I've been through something like this before too. Ahh but I guess, I'm very sure that my dad loves me, it's just that sometimes...I wish he'd pay more attention to me. That's all. I mean how could he ask me how old I am? -__-; well whatever. oh yeah, this is AWESOME <3
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Alright im pissed i just wrote this massive comment on this and then i submitted it and the computer said i wasn't logged in. stupid thing. lemme see if i can remember it.
when i read this i didn't cry i just got really mad and angry. I have only poured my heart out like that once and it was to my Boyfriend and he shrugged it off like in the poem. I totaly poured my heart out I was exhausted. he didn't even bother to tell me if it affected (effected? i can never get that rule right) him. Part of me wants to ask him what he felt or if he cared but the part of me that is still very angry at him for just brushing it off doesn't and i dont want to be disappointed and find out that it didn't mean anything at all to him.
But i cant imagin what it would feel like if that happened to me and my dad.
Elli
(thats basically what it said if not more so) -
Perfect!
Wow, so sad. It was really great i must say. thinking over it all made me want to cry! Your right, this poem was filled with emotion. Great job and awesome writing.This is the kind of writing i was talking about! love it! You really put yourself into it. The ending was really super sad though :cry: but still great!
thanks for entering and good luck!
--Greeneyes
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Great job!
I loved this so much. I was impressed with the emotion you put into this. The ending line was so sad, but in a way, it was so perfect because it kind of resolved all the questions. This is so sad, but so fantastic at the same time. Well done, and good luck on the contest!
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Oh my gosh.
This was so sad. I teared up to.
It was beautiful, and full of emotion and just what I wanted. And you're my first entry!
So. This poem was wonderful, the emotions were packed right in and I could tell it means a lot to you. That's great.
I understood everything about what was happening in the poem plot without you having to spell it out, and that was awesome.
So anyway, other than the poem being beautiful, you followed al the rules
I regret to say I don't know who's entry this is...but I love you too!
1. yes, I do love new stories. Especially when I'm mentioned in the AN's.
2. Well it's a beautiful poem, and I am proud to say it was entered into my contest first and it's packed right full of amazing emotion.
3. I cried reading it too, so it does deserve two numbers.
4. I love you too! As for being awesome, well, thank you!
Great job and good luck!
xoxo
Thank you so much for entering!
Tay
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