I woke up and the room was hollow.
Hard to swallow. Lacking value.
Thinning substance spread on shallow.
Nothing left for me to long for.
No more hunger.
No more wanting.
No more lust
and nothing hallowed.
I was left there barely trusting
that the whole of this depressing
life was some absurd mistake.
I woke and prayed I was asleep.
Author notes
For Contest: I deeply enjoy pancakes.
***Incredibly long explanation as to the origin of the poem follows below. Feel free to skip it.****
I wrote this after living, for a week, with the roommate from hell. An extraordinarily annoying girl, she would invite strange men into our shared dorm room and beg them to sleep with her, doing that fake crying thing to 'guilt' them into it. She would wake up super early in the morning and be really, really loud and stay up late at night, being really really loud. And she wouldn't respond like a normal human being to conversations. An example:
"Hey, I'm going to go rent some movies. Would you like me to pick you up something while I'm there?"
"I don't watch movies." *silence*
or
"Hey! What sort of music do you like?"
"Whatever." *silence*
Ughhhh! Outside of getting drunk and manipulating frat boys, she had no *real* personality. She sucked all the pleasure, comfort, peace, whatever out of the room, leaving this horrible...VOID.
Thankfully, I combatted her vapid self-interest with my extraordinary passive-aggressiveness and WON! So she left after a week to another dorm. But nonetheless, the stress (and sleepless nights) inspired the above poem.
That feeling of an empty, hollow life with all the goodness sucked out was what I was trying to indicate in the poem. Lord knows how successful I was.
Also, the sound difference between "hallow" and "hollow" is like, my favorite thing ever. I use that combination of words in practically everything I write.
Hee! My A.N. is totally twice as long as my poem. I rock so hard.
In a list
A contest entry
- Poems of Emo-ology by Fervent-Author.
140 points, ended November 1, 2007, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poetry by SnowFlakeWolf.
350 points, ended April 26, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this seems more like a story than a poem.
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Well, the Author's Notes, maybe, but the poem itself? How?
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So reflective of frenzy... Brilliant
And you can visit the Dream King in the secret compartment behind your eyelids when at last you sleep, eh?
Brilliant work. I love the meter and rhythm, it just rolls from dactyl to dactyl, punch to punch, exactly like a frantic mind.
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lol. Yeah, you're AN are a lot longer than the poem
But I really liked this. And I feel your pain with the room mate- I have to share my room with an eight year old sister for another year. And she thiknks she's an eight year old BOY- more of an eight year old boy monster! Seriously, she stays up late baning o our walls and watching TV and movies and then wakes up at like 6 or 7 and jumps on me. Not fun.
So yeah, I would HATE that. I'm glad you got her out though!
Nice poem, I can feel your pain- so that's a plus!
And you followed the rules~!
Good job, good luck and thank soooo much for entering my contest!~
xoxo
Tay
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