Chocolate Nights,
Sweet and kind
How I want you, be mine
On my pillow sat, A chocolate mint
My request.
Author notes
This poem has 20 words now. lol.
I fixed it! yay!!
A contest entry
- 20 Crafted Beauties by Asfand.
200 points, ended August 3, 2007, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow, choooocooolaaate! I want one too! lol. This is really nice... reminds me of the time when i actually stashed some chocolate mint under my pillow for my bed time reads. hehe...
Good job! good luck with the contest! -
He he he a chocolate addiction i love it!!! i want the lill mint all for myself now!
Elli -
Nice, after the contest I think you should expand this one :-)
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Take out the :"be!"
No danger of sugar overdose here!
GA -
huh? actually i said it can be one word under but no more....
BUT, if you take out the 'so' in your second line, all is well!!! you don't need grammar in such small poems you know!
Anyway, this was awesome. Especially the last two lines! very nicely done! -
Aww that's cute
I mean it lol. Great job! 21 words, just one word over 
It must've been hard, wasn't it? Did you start out with 21 or did you have to narrow it down from a higher number? 
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