Siren took Angel and strolled towards the Havenskeep Inn down the street. She pulled her crimson cloak closer to her body as she snuggled the cat to her. The warmth of the cat gave her comfort. The air had turned chilly in the time that she was in the Barrel’s Down, singing to the patrons. Around her the creatures of the night played their own hypnotizing song, she listened to their melodies as she walked to the Inn. 1
Her thoughts turned towards Crispin Ravenlocke. Siren did not understand what it was that he wanted from her. For the past few weeks he had been there, listening. At first he only watched her sing and then one night he approached her. He seemed harmless, just another person who had heard through word of mouth about her wonderous singing. Someone curious about the images that she made appear. Each night more people wandered in to hear her. 2
It meant nothing to her when people bade him distance and respect. He watched her as she sung night after night. Until finally one night a hand came to rest on her shoulder as she walked towards the bar. That hand belonged to him. The heat that flowed into her shoulder gave her chills that lasted a time even when he took his hand away. She had pulled away from him but he insisted that he walk her to the bar. Not wanting to cause a scene she let him have his way. That night he asked Siren her name.3
"Have you not been told?” She laughed at him.4
“I have heard the stories. Stories that told of a beautiful golden haired woman that could enchant a whole audience and that she would show them wonderful pictures. Could that woman be you?” When she did not answer he simply went on. “Yes, I would think that was you. So what is your name, fair lady?”5
She looked into his light hazel eyes and whispered, “Siren, kind sir.” Siren dropped her eyes and looked through her lashes at his pointed chin. “And what is yours sir?”6
His face beamed “I am called Crispin Ravenlocke. I, my lady, am the captain of the guards.” He bowed graciously, his hand sweeping to the floor below her. Her face turned red and her hand stilled from petting Angel. “And who is this furry creature who holds your graceful hand prisoner?”7
“Her name would be Angel, sir.” She again whispered. At her name Angel looked up and meowed towards the handsome stranger that stood before her. Angel then jumped from Siren's lap unto his chest curling up in his crossed arms and began to purr. “She had never done that,” she said surprised. “You must be a trustworthy person. For Angel doesn’t trust just anyone.” Her voice became stronger and she held her head higher.8
His long fingers stroked the cat’s orange and white fur in a slow steady rhythm. “The Leader seems to think so.” He laughed. His laughter came easily to him. Then he took on a more serious tone, “Why do they call you Siren?”9
And so the conversation went and that was the way it went for the last couple of nights. Never going past the reason for the name. What was it that intrigued her so about this man Ravenlocke? It wasn’t because he was handsome and that he showed her attention, she had been receiving attention from strangers for as long as she could remember. It had to be more. Puzzled she swept the thought aside.10
She arrived at the Inn and pushed her way inside. It was quiet in the main room, everyone had already gone up to bed and the staff of the little place had cleaned up and retried also. Wearily she trudged up the creaky stairs and fell upon her bed. Siren was asleep in minutes. Angel wandered to the door and shut it softly then padded to the window and set out on her nightly walk.11
Author notes
Edited 12/5
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Comments
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I agree....there's gotta be more to Angel and I'm looking forward to figuring it out! -Liz
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i am thinking now that Angel the cat is more than just a cat...well no cat of mine could shut a door!!
I like it and therefore must read....three!! -
You have such a wonderful flow to your prose. It's not overly in your face. Instead, it's subtle and subdued. I read it and feel like I'm a fly on the wall, watching the scene unfold...I know this is tough to explain.
I love the characters of Siren and Angel. I really think there is more to the cat than you've shown us. I love cats (having put one as a vital character in my novel), so this will be interesting to see how you pursue this.
Again, I'm not going to bog down this review with nitpicky things...I'm just eager to read more of this.
This Ravenlocke character will be interesting to see what happens with him. I see this as a highly romantic story developing...nice work!
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Thank you taking the time to read this and for commenting. And you are so right there is more to Angel. That part should be coming up soon. I really think I'll pick this one back up. I haven't written anything new on this in awhile and I've been getting such great reviews and helpful ones too that it just might be time.
Thanks again
~*Brooke*~
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I like Siren, she's mysterious! Very nice, the details were so wonderful and not at all voerly descriptive. I enjoyed this alot. The character are evry interesting, especially Siren and Angel, both very awesome.
I like the man too, though I havent seen much of his character you seem to be hiding him. Excellent job! Very effective details.
One suggestions, the middle para is too huge. If you could cut it, i founf it difficult to read for the size was a big block.
Again, excellent!
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Ravenlocke will be coming up more in the next parts. Thanks for commenting. I think I'll pick this one up again.
~*Brooke*~
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"...place had clean up and retried.." clean should be past tense. spell check often misses these things.
Ooh, I like this. It flows well, and brings up just the right amount of questions. Not so many as to be frustrating, but enough to keep your interest.
Good job, Syren. -
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Thanks for pointing that out. While I was reading it over looking for the sentence I saw a couple more errors that needed fixing. See what happens when you read it again
Thanks for the comment and for taking the time to read this little piece.
~*Brooke*~ -
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You're welcome. It's no problem, and I rather enjoyed it. You should definitely write more.
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Who is Syren? Is she a lady, witch, or singer? I could almost see Crispin and Syren as advasaries (excuse spelling) or Crispin as a man who had a secret tht got in their way of taking a relationship further.
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