A crimson sunset
To reveal to us all
A darkened masquerade
For the world to recall
A blackened ballroom
A hated sight
A vile orchestra
To play to their fright
Fires light the floor of black marble
And reflect the darkened world again
Sharpened blades on the walls
To bring the visitors all to pain
Dancing in their own delight
The members of black and vile war
Drink upon the inverted crucifixes
And set his flesh to be tore
No eyes hath the dead to see
Though they dance towards thee
To take away the life-force they feel
To be the killing of their pleas
Velvet to release the flames of hell
Upon their very souls
For the heat is burning the flesh
And they care not at all
Glasses filled with blood of the innocent
Drink to the worlds demise
No more hatred for the world to see
For everything dies
Tormented no more
Are the souls of the blessed
Though they are no longer in pain
They carve a name in their flesh
Still no longer can you take away
My soul for its here
In the masquerade of broken hearts
Still I live in fear
You took away what I had
And made me what I am
Still you will not dance
For I am one of the damned
Take me away from here
I hate to live in this fear
No matter how long I strangle myself
The end will not come near
The crimson sunset was the last I saw
Before I took death to my call
And my body though will fall
My soul has not and will never sore
Water taken beyond the world
It has turned to blood before
Bathe in the wine of the dead
Taste the dark forever more
My reflecting face still rots in the mirror
But I still dance
For my body is falling apart
But I’m in this unforgiving trance
This mirror is jaded to me
But it makes me see
The beauty that was thee
Before I took it away as you screamed
Jaded and forsaken
The masquerade continues on
Taking another life a day
The sunset will never fall upon you
My eyes are white
No iris or pupil to see
Never to be with the loved ones
I should never have forsaken thee
Now the world falls upon this gift
Of hatred and lies and deception
And the spirits die and will never lift
Or rise to heaven for indoctrination
We fall upon our knees
Crying to anyone who will hear our pleas
We didn’t know the sins we had been
We’d take it all back for thee
Burn the flesh of our hated souls
Take away the pain forever more
Nothing left to let us live
We hate our lives for what is gone in the moor
What may be beyond the abyss?
A wasteland for us to be alone in torment
Or a forest releasing flames
What ever it may be we can only resent
Look into the blackened heart
Heaven taken away your feeling
Glance at the blood on your suffering face
Taste it upon the hated meeting
She took away what made you full
I took away what made her alive
Into the darkness but reaching for the light
My body will always strive
The masquerade falls blindly
To the moor of death
No souls to dance for eternal night
For light has taken it again
Chains fall from the roof and lock into the spines of the dead
Take their hands and remove them for no feeling is deserved
The masquerade floor melts into the vile pits of viscera that surrounds
The forest falls into place and the roof opens up to show the crimson sky reserved
The stars get sucked into the black holes of space
And now it’s known to the entire human race
That life is ending and the pace
Is slowing and can never be traced
Nothing left to keep them here
The dead and rotting inside the organs of others
Take away the dead
Let the words of darkness be said
Hear me now
Upon the blood soaked ground
Die without a sound
Sigh relief into the darkness bound
Rotting away from the past
From the future and the now
Fatal error taken forever to thou
Ones of no feeling take their final bow
No soft hands or light touch to guide them
Through the pain they call their own
No release from the chain given to them
To rip it out will never be known
Kept here in this place
No more dancing for they chose their fate
To sin to those who mattered most
And to let the words of hatred continue in state
Now the backs of their loved ones turn upon them
They were dead again
No life could be taken for they had none
And the life was made never to regain
They wish to dance again
To take away this pain
The forest burns forever in vein
Yet the blood from their severed wrists continues to gain
They are not considered one
And never will be taken
For heaven hates and hell has spoken
They are known as the forsaken
The masquerade has come and past
The war of a million years has drained away
Forsaken forever from the minds of the living
Lets them live in the moor and pain and lets them stay
Author notes
i wrote this not too long ago and i was in extreme pain, it is also the feelings of being lost within something i can't control that allowed me to write this
A contest entry
- ABSTRACT by Midnightmare.
200 points, ended September 16, 2007, 40 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Disturb Me In A Flash by Chemical Imbalance.
175 points, ended October 5, 2007, 7 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Somethign Dark by lexiconsthedevil.
130 points, ended December 18, 2007, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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great writing! this is really a gret piece of work! it looses something along the way, but still kinda has a good meaning
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You start off with a every other line in the stanza rhyming scheme, then begin to loose that.
Rhyming for this longer poem isn't a problem, but it does make it a bit harder to express freely. You are kind of forced in what words to choose...and that comes across in some of the lines.
The emotions come through...pain drips from every line and that I do like. I also like some of the imagery you were able to put into this piece.
I would actually like to see you take the idea, imagery and emotions of this and turn it into a story. I think it would be pretty cool to see where you would take it.
Good job on this and good luck in the contest! -
The rhyming feels very forced in this. It's a good idea but I think it would flow better without that. Some of the imagery is good but could be improved on if the rhyme scheme is gone. Good luck in the contest
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the darkness and emotion captured me , sending the waves of pain directly through... it was different in some cases- raw in others, bare honest in all approval, to my satisfactio no more words


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this is one of my favourite poems of yours. it's so... deep. i dont really have any words because its just so damn good.
thanks for entering!!! <3 -
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thankyou so much, that means alot coming from you <3
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