An Essay on the Life-Cycle of Caterpillars and Butterflies

Chapter 1: The Tent1

In the reeds that grow on the banks of the waters of Babylon, butterflies make tent-like nests every Spring. In every tent, bunches of furry little boy and girl caterpillars just wiggle around all day doing nothing but eating leaves and watching cartoons for weeks until they get big enough to go out on their own to become butterflies themselves. A caterpillar tent is just about the safest and coziest place you can imagine. There’s no chores to do. Every day is fun; and at bedtime, everyone snuggles up together and sleeps as long as they want. Little caterpillars don’t ever cry either. They have so many friends, they’re just happy and content all the time.2

At night, the Arabian moon shines on the water so that just enough light is reflected for little girl caterpillars to practice their caterpillar walks. Caterpillars have lots of legs, and learning to walk gracefully isn’t at all easy. It takes hours and hours of practice. With a lot of work, a skillful girl caterpillar can walk from one side of the tent to the other with four or five books on her head without dropping a single one. This doesn’t happen too often. Most of the time, they get distracted by the boy caterpillars making gross noises and laughing. Even so, it’s very rare that a little girl caterpillar isn’t ready to leave the tent by the end of Spring – when it’s time to head to the forest to make their cocoons. 3

The little boy caterpillars are not so diligent. Very few of them practice walking at all, because they think it’s a silly girl thing to do. It’s always been this way. Instead, they spend all their time talking about all the great things they’ll do when they become butterflies. Mostly, they like to wrestle with each other and tease the little girl caterpillars. Sometimes, the really naughty ones, who just eat leaves and joke around all day, can barely manage to get out of the tent by the end of the Spring. That’s sad, because it’s a long and treacherous walk to the forest.4

Now, on one particular Spring there was a special little girl caterpillar named Bibti (pronounced, “beebtee”). She was one of the best walkers ever. It has been said, that Bibti could walk the tent with five books on here head three times in a row. She had longer black caterpillar hair than any of the other girl caterpillars. Her legs were long too. Her caterpillar eyes and caterpillar smile were so lovely that the little boy caterpillars all wanted to cuddle with her at night. She was so admired, that anytime she wanted to watch her favorite cartoons, Bugs Bunny, all the little boy caterpillars would enthusiastically agree just to see Bibti smile. This really annoyed the other little girl caterpillars.5

On one of the last nights of that Spring, a little boy caterpillar named Habib (pronounced “habeeb”), was secretly admiring Bibti practicing her walk while the other little boy caterpillars were bragging about their future butterfly accomplishments, wrestling, pinching each other and being a general nuisance. Habib was a bit too serious minded for a caterpillar. Secretly, he wanted to be a violinist butterfly when he grew up. He liked reading caterpillar philosophy books and daydreaming about all the places in the caterpillar world he’d like to go. He was lucky that he got big very fast, or the other boy caterpillars would have picked on him a lot more than they did.6

No one remembers why, but for some reason Bibti noticed Habib that night. And when the adult butterflies came by to tell the caterpillars it was bedtime, Bibti snuggled right up to Habib. This started out as the happiest moment of Habib’s caterpillar life. That night, with great patience, Bibti listened to Habib go on for hours about all sorts of things that were very uninteresting – like the six points of caterpillar sailing and some book titled the Caterpillar Omega Point. But, she thought it was very cute that he was trying so hard to impress her. Partly to let him know that he didn’t need to try so hard and partly out of being a confident beautiful girl caterpillar, she gave Habib the biggest, most luscious caterpillar kiss that was ever kissed in caterpillar world. Habib’s little boy caterpillar heart almost exploded that very instant.7

Now outside the tent, there was a grumpy old female butterfly that saw the kiss. She immediately came into the tent and scolded Habeeb and Bibti – about how kissing is for butterflies not for caterpillars. Bibti thought to herself, “who’d kiss that grumpy old female?” Although Bibti rightly discerned that the old butterfly was just a nosey busybody who didn’t know anything; Habib felt terrible. How could he have embarrassed Bibti like this? What had just happened went completely against everything Habib knew about caterpillar chivalry. His little caterpillar heart was filled with guilt and he was so confused about what to do next, he started crying out loud - something about wanting to be a pony instead of a butterfly - as he wiggled his way to the corner of the tent to hide in shame until the next day. He gave up all hope, and never talked to anyone about what happened that night – not even Bibti. But … no matter how much he tried, he could never get that magical kiss out of his mind. Nor could he forget the pain it brought.8

Chapter 2: The Road9

As everyone knows, at the end of Spring caterpillars become butterflies. But, what they don’t know is that after they leave their cozy tent they must crawl a very long way to the forest to climb trees so they can build their cocoons. This is a very difficult trip for little caterpillars. What makes it worse is that a long time ago humans built a big road between the waters where the reeds grow and the forest.10

Caterpillars don’t know about human things like roads, cars and trucks. Their lives are very short – just a few human seasons. A caterpillar’s main work in this world is to become a butterfly and mate and make baby caterpillars. It’s pretty simple. They don’t have much time to worry about humans or learn about human things. In fact, even though they all have to cross the road, they are completely oblivious to the dangers that lie in wait for them.11

On that last Spring day, the whole troop of the little caterpillar boys and girls lined up in a row and started their long journey to the forest. As usual, the overconfident boys started out running until they got tired out. The girls moved together, stopping just to brush their hair once in a while and laugh at the foolish boys that were sitting on the sides of the caterpillar path too tired to go on. Bibti was with the girls – encouraging them along and reminding them that the forest was still hours away and they shouldn’t be laughing at anyone since they hadn’t gotten there themselves.12

In general, the whole troop was very excited that they were finally on their way to becoming butterflies. That is, except for a few of the naughtiest boys, who were moping along and talking about how being a caterpillar, would be the best days of their lives and that anyone who ‘buys-into’ the butterfly system is too stupid to think for themselves. These boys dropped out of the group and pledged to be caterpillars forever. Seeing this, Habib thought to himself, “Maybe these guys are right? I don’t have any special desire to be a butterfly? Being a caterpillar is good. Why go for something else?” The group encouraged Habib to join them. A bit confused at that moment, and fascinated by the group’s independence, Habib went along with the naughty little boy caterpillars – for a while. 13

However, after the troop was out of sight, Habib noticed that one by one, the naughty little caterpillar boys disappeared. Some of them quietly snuck off to join the troop again. Others ate leaves until they exploded. Others were picked off by birds – eaten alive. Finally, there were just a few. Habib thought to himself – I better get out of here before I end up like one of these guys. So, he just got up and left. It was too late to make it back to the troop. As he walked along, by himself, he felt very lonely and he felt very small. He wondered about Bibti, and whether he’d ever get the chance to apologize. In his little caterpillar heart, he felt a sense of despair for the first time in short life.14

About noon that day, Habib reached the human road. Like any normal caterpillar he started the 60 foot walk across the hard black asphalt like it was an ordinary part of the journey. Very soon, he noticed that every few seconds there was a loud noise and a great gust of wind that almost sucked him away. Whenever he heard the noise, he’d grab the asphalt with all his legs. At one point he was so scared he couldn’t go another step. He was frozen in fear. He couldn’t turn back and there was no one to encourage him onward. He just stayed there in the middle of the asphalt, clutching for his little life with all his might. But the noises kept coming and the gusts of wind kept trying to sweep him up. He grew weaker and weaker. Finally, he couldn’t hold on any longer – and was sucked into a tornado of swirling wind and dirt. For what seemed like forever, he was spinning and spinning in mid air – completely helpless in that horrible wind.15

Chapter 3: The Foreign Land16

Finally he landed on a cold metal thing that was going even faster than the wind which had sucked him off the road. It was much worse. It was a beating head-wind that pinned him into a corner of the metal thing and pummeled him until he didn’t care what happened to him anymore. Habib cried out loud, “Oh God of the caterpillars and butterflies, I’m so sorry for Bibti and leaving the troop to join the bad caterpillars, please have mercy on me.” And in just a short while, the wind stopped and Habib was able to crawl down from the metal thing and get back to the asphalt. In a few more minutes he reached the grass – and collapsed in exhaustion.17

When he woke, Habib had no idea where he was. The place was strange; there was no caterpillar path; and the night was coming. He must have been asleep for over an hour. Fortunately, he found a tree very close to the road and climbed it. After finding a place where no bird could see him, he fell fast asleep and spent his first night in the new land all alone.18

The next day he built his cocoon all by himself – and went into a deep metamorphic sleep. Although he’d gone to sleep in lonely despair, when he started to dream a wonderful thing happened. First, all his dreams were about the cozy days in his old caterpillar tent. In a while, peace and hope started to trickle into his heart again. Those trickles started to gush until they swelled up into a river of joy that flooded his whole being. When the fear and pain of his trials on the road started to poke their way into his dreams, his joy would put them out like a big river would quench a single hot coal that falls off your hotdog grill. Only readers, who have ever cooked hotdogs by the side of a river, really understand this. Finally, Habib dreamed he was a strong, powerful and wild butterfly that no bird could catch or wind could hurt.19

Note to reader: As you know, butterflies are really some of the most fragile of God’s creatures. They aren’t strong or powerful. Birds catch them all the time and you can blow them off your hand with a puff of breath. Habib was dreaming. But just like humans, a lot of what butterflies do with their lives depends on what happens in their dream world. If they dream well, they live well. If they dream sadly, they live sadly. Habib’s dreams may not have been very accurate, but… they were good.20

When he woke after three days, the cocoon was so tight that Habib couldn’t budge. After anyone sleeps for three whole days they have two things on their mind. The first is an uncontrollable desire to stretch. The next is to eat breakfast. Habib let out a big yawn and stretched as far as he could – which broke his cocoon into pieces. He noticed immediately that he felt completely different, and when he saw his bright orange and black butterfly wings he jumped into the air and shouted to the forest – I AM A BUTTERFLY, I’M A BUTTERFLY. I CAN FLY. I CAN FLY!!21

He flew up over the tree and perched himself on a fresh green leaf which is just what butterflies love for breakfast. He munched it down. Then he lapped up a droplet of dew that was rolling across the same leaf. Totally satisfied – with life in general – he took off again and looked around. 22

Habib had no idea where he was. He remembered some vague things about being a caterpillar, but for the most part, all he wanted was to find something familiar. For the rest of the day, he flew around trying to find his old caterpillar tent and the path to his old troop - but nothing looked familiar. The next day was the same. The day after was the same too. Finally, he resigned himself to the reality that he’d lost them, and might never see any of them again.23

Chapter 4: The Mating Dance24

With Spring behind and Summer in full swing, Habib went out to do what butterflies do. Mostly, the male butterfly just flies around showing off his colors. This is their primary job – to add color to summer and beauty to creation. They’re professional show-offs. Habib loved his job. He got up at the crack of dawn every day and flew around until night. Then one day, not too far into that Summer, he ran into another troop of Butterflies. One of the female butterflies was very beautiful. She had long black tentacles and long legs, was very musical and was the top student in her butterfly school.25

Over the next few days, Habib talked to her about a lot of butterfly things. Partly because of the memory of his trials across the human road, but mostly to show off, Habib would make long speeches about human irresponsibility and the resulting environmental crisis. He inferred that he’d studied the subject exhaustively and would spend the remainder of the summer solving the problem – for the good of all caterpillars and butterflies. He’d also make long monologues about a number of theories regarding the lack of polyphony in contemporary butterfly music and its negative impact on butterfly culture; and when he was making these speeches he’d strut back forth brandishing his wings to get the desired color impact while waving his antennae in intense butterfly gesticulations.26

The female was very humored by Habib’s attention and would smile frequently during his discourses. Her smiles led Habib to presume that she was very impressed by him and he concluded that she was certainly a very different sort of female butterfly. Really, she’d read all the same books as Habib and was much more qualified than he was in music theory. It was all his funny prancing back and forth, color flashing and antennae waving that made her smile. Most of the time she was thinking, “this is defiantly one silly butterfly. Why doesn’t he just kiss me so we can get on with it?” It took three days of parading around and giving lectures before Habib got up the nerve to kiss the female. She was very patient.27

Chapter 5: The Letters28

At first, the kiss was a little scary for Habib. He remembered Bibti. He didn’t ever want to harm another Butterfly like that again. So, he was very careful – and didn’t kiss very much (yea right). Butterfly courtships are pretty quick. Partly because their lives are so short, and partly because there comes a time in a young male butterfly’s life when all he can think about is mating -- Habib started thinking very seriously about asking this female to mate with him. Just about the time he had the courage to ask her, he overheard a passing humming bird – humming about a monarch of butterflies from the forest, and a beautiful butterfly named Bibti that was the object of every male butterflies’ attention. The more the hummingbird hummed about the reeds and forest where it had seen the butterflies, the more convinced Habib became that these butterflies were from his old caterpillar tent. He asked the hummingbird, “by any chance can you tell me about the female in your song … the one named Bibti?”29

The reason that hummingbirds are humming all the time is that they are romantic creatures. They like to get involved in all sorts of creaturely gossip, and go all over humming about it. This hummingbird discerned something in the way that Habib asked the question. It thought that Habib’s interest in Bibti just might be a ‘matter of the heart’. So it asked Habib, “my young butterfly, why are you so interested in the gifted female Bibti? Has the news of her reached this far already?” Habib answered, “er … ummm … I mean, it’s not that. I was her friend. I mean … we grew up together, but I lost my way one day, and I’ve got a message for her. Can you help me?” Even though the hummingbird wasn’t really going directly back to Bibti’s forest, it agreed to carry Habib’s message. “Hurry then young butterfly, I haven’t got all day. Give me your message, and I’ll carry it to the maiden butterfly of every heart’s desire, Bibti of the far away forest.” Hummingbirds like to talk this way.30

While the hummingbird waited, Habib wrote:31

Dearest Bibti,32

I am doing fine in this foreign land. I have always remembered your kiss and I love you with all my heart, but I sense a new season is here. I so hope that one day our paths will meet again. I will never forget you.33

All my love, forever and ever and ever,
Habib34

The hummingbird noticed that Habib sealed the envelope with a kiss before he gave it over. Habib said, “thank you good hummingbird.” Then the hummingbird flew off – humming, ‘he sealed it with a kiss.’35

For days, each morning Habib would watch for the hummingbird. Every day the hummingbird didn’t come was a disappointment, and Habib’s desire to mate kept growing stronger. He continued the mating dance with the beautiful female butterfly from the new land. Happy to have had the chance to confess his love to Bibti and not having received a reply, he felt free to give his heart completely over to the female from the new land. One day, he flew with her to a garden, played his violin, confessed his love and asked her to be his mate. The union was announced to all the butterflies in the foreign land, and all the female butterflies started to prepare a big mating party.36

One day, very soon after work for the party started, the happy Habib was working away at flying around being a show off, when saw the hummingbird coming from a distance. He flew to meet it and asked, “good hummingbird, did you see Bibti? “Yes,” said the hummingbird. “I reached her and I have her reply.”37

Habib opened the small white envelope and read …
My dear Habib,38

I was so happy to receive word that you are doing well. I thought you were lost forever. Please Habib, you must know that my heart belongs to you, and I am waiting to hear from you soon.39

Love,
Bibti40

As a big butterfly tear welled up in Habib’s eye, the hummingbird softly asked, “what is it young butterfly?” Habib said, “I’ve already confessed my love to another and am pledged to be her mate. What took you so long good hummingbird?” The hummingbird replied, “who knows or can perceive the ways of the forest? What will be - will be my young butterfly. You need not concern yourself much over the beautiful Bibti. She has many suitors and at this very moment, the most handsome and strongest of the male butterflies is pursuing her for a mate. She will be fine in this world. If I were you, young butterfly, I would let this affection go and give your undivided love to the one to whom you are pledged. My young butterfly, you can only bare good fruit if you love the one.”41

He retuned Bibti’s letter to the hummingbird and replied, “You are wise good friend. Thank you. Take this and hum today for all of God’s creatures. Hum for hope and peace. Hum for the forest. Hum for honor and love. Most of all, hum for the ones who are lost or left behind.”42

Chapter 6: The Winter43

So, Habib mated with the female from the new land; and had a very big tent of caterpillars. He loved all of them and his mate honored him and loved him well. She taught him many things and they lived for the rest of their seasons in peace and joy. Also, Bibti chose the most handsome and strongest male butterfly in the forest for her mate and they had a tent of strong handsome caterpillars. She grew in wisdom and understanding and was regarded highly by all for her healing skills and music.44

Then in the winter of their lives, when the color of butterflies’ wings begins to fade, and they sense their time is coming to an end, an old hummingbird came to Habib. “Do you remember me, sir Butterfly?” asked the old hummingbird. Habib answered, “I have thought many times about you, and how thankful I am for your wise words so long ago. I have lived and loved well good hummingbird. My caterpillar tent is full and my mate has been true. What brings you back to me dear friend?” 45

The hummingbird answered, “the Lord of the forest sends you this message. He advises you that your time here is coming to an end; and reminds you that: he caused you to leave the bad caterpillar boys, he saved you from the road, he guided you to the new land, and he made you a butterfly. He is also the one put the river of joy in your heart, and gave you a true mate, and filled your tent with caterpillars. But you, oh foolish butterfly, have not been true to him.”
Habib said, “I believe your words dear friend. But how have I failed him? I have always been the first into butterfly battles and the last to retreat. I have taught my caterpillars truth, I am true to my mate, and have never feared to lay my life down for her. Where is my fault dear friend?” The hummingbird replied, “in this you old fool – although you know the butterfly way, it has never softened your heart. You have no love or compassion for any butterfly that is not from your own tent or under your own care. Any butterfly will love his mate and his own caterpillars. But butterflies are the most fragile creatures of the forest. Every drop of dew you drink, every green leaf you eat, and every sunrise you receive is directly from the hand of your creator. Is it so impossible for you to show any humility, to be grateful to anyone, to care about anyone? You must change foolish butterfly. Your time is short and your color is fading. Soon, your wings will fall off and you will go to a new foreign land. In that place there are no male or female butterflies; there are no orange or black butterflies. You will all see each other for who you truly are. You should get started now.” And the hummingbird flew away.46

When it was gone, Habib noticed a little white envelope that the hummingbird left.47

It was the young Bibti’s letter … that Habib had never answered.