If I were a page in a book

If I were a page in a book
I'd be the sadest look
from across the room
of a crowded saloon
in a western town.

Author notes

fixed

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • bedraggled1
    July 19, 2007

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    I liked this to..but...

    in the rules it states that we can only use each prompt ONE TIME. You used this same one 2xs. I guess he didn't notice since the contest is anon though. lol.


    • SageSyren Greeters member
      July 19, 2007
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      You are so right. Hmmm...I've going to have to take one out, but which one. Thanks for pointing that out.
      Brooke


      • Veritaserum gold member
        July 19, 2007

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        hmmm...

        THis one is good as well.

        However, if you have to choose which to keep in the contest, I think your other one is by far the best one of the two! It moved me more, as I could actually feel it and envision it.


        • SageSyren Greeters member
          July 19, 2007
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          Thanks. I liked the other one better too. This was the first one I wrote and sometimes the second one just is better
          Thanks again
          ~*Brooke*~


  • Asfand
    July 19, 2007
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    maybe GA didn't like it, but i srsly do, i love the imagery and the whole relation thing. see, writing about a page in a book isn't easy, it takes conviction to make your reader realize...i think you did good! I liked it alot. The creative imagery, plus the penning!! Excellent job!

    ♥Asfand


    • SageSyren Greeters member
      July 19, 2007
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      Thanks. I wasn't sure I could do this, but hey I did Yay for me
      ~*Brooke*~


  • Gary Alexander silver member
    July 18, 2007
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    Hey Brook...

    Not sure I quite get this. Who sees through the covers of a book...to a page, sad or otherwise? And, in a saloon? A CROWDED saloon? You could however, in a saloon, be a...TABLE of contents! Lol!
    GA


    • SageSyren Greeters member
      July 18, 2007
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      Hey Gary...


      • Gary Alexander silver member
        July 18, 2007

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        You jumped the gun.

        I no sooner hit the enter button...there you were!
        I'll never merely leave a greeting. You can always count on that! BTW...in re your poem...from whose POV are we seeing things? Are we looking FROM the book? or into the book? Also...I think it should be: "Of a crowded saloon" rather than "in." And...
        If I were a book in a saloon, I think
        I'd probably be a tome of verse
        And I'd read before I would buy a drink
        Just to see the crowd disperse!
        GA (And you thought I'd left!)lol!


        • SageSyren Greeters member
          July 18, 2007
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          In the last one I was just being funny. I knew there had to be more.
          POV huh? Humph, let me think...heck I don't know. It would have to be first person, but don't quote me on that. You're confusing me Just joking. And I'll go fix that
          Thanks for commenting.
          Brooke
          BTW loved that last part of your comment. You should enter this contest.

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