The Diary of Kat Walker: Entry #6

Entry #61

Date: 10/19/012

I have made no progress whatsoever in regards to my play.  I remain as stubborn as before, steadfast in the unprecedented belief that I will finish this stupid thing no matter how horrible it ends up being.  The only thing that's really stopping me from quitting now is that I feel like I've invested part of myself into this idea and, if I don't follow through, I'll lose that part of me forever.  I tried to force myself to at least add to the tiny amount of work I've done so far by spending my lunch hour alone in the library again, but all that netted me was a surprisingly adamant hunger that scratched at my stomach for the rest of the day and the revelation that 'mew" is the most ridiculously cute verb in the English language.  I would say that I'm biased and make some predictable joke about me being a "cat" person, but I've done enough time in bad name pun prison at this point in my life.  In other news, Susy has finally been expelled.  Megan's parents [I am shocked she told them, that she related such a story to anyone] made quite the fuss about Susy's actions and it turns out that what she did falls neatly into the category of "assualt", which is cause for expulsion.  While everyone from Megan to school administraters [are they that different?  Well, for one thing, Megan has more power.] celebrated, I found myself missing that tornado of hated, venom, and self destruction already.  How can they do this to me?  How can they stop coverage just before the girl who's been standing on ledge decides to leap?  Don't I deserve to see the train go off its tracks and take out the engineer's own village in a river of suicidal steel, epsecially considering I'm one of the passengers?  I will have to find out where she is and follow her actions, at least until the climax of the her story, collapsing on the street and twitching, full of cheap liquor, cigarette smoke and stranger's semen.  I'm exaggerating, of course, but imagery always take precedence over probability.  The fact is that it is possible, if not unlikely, that Susy will become addicted to some form of illegal substance and resort to prostitution.  For now, I need to find a way to keep up with her actions without having to physically stalk her.  I am lucky in the sense that Susy lives in my neighborhood, so I can put on a pair of headphones and pretend I just wanted to jog, but that only gives me information about her if she is outside of her house.  While this may appear right now to be a huge problem, I have the feeling that I may be able to break into Susy's social circle [I use that word too much, I need a new one] now that she's going to be on the streets more often.  All I have to do is find an excuse to talk to her and I can move into what she's be doing since being expelled and, quick as a wink, we'll be hanging out together off the fumes of my sympathy and her newfound boredom.  Is this the death of an infatuation or a second, more flashy birth?3