The Reason

The phone rang. “What are you doing for the next couple of hours?” I felt an invitation coming on, so I replied, “I don’t know; what AM I doing?” “Can you come over?”   “Sure, I guess.” “How soon can you get here?” “I’ll see you in an hour and a half.”1

Only Chris could make me do something so spontaneous without question.2

On the drive there, I conjured up every scenario I possibly could for his beckoning me to Bayville. Tara found out. Tara and he broke up. Something happened to Tara and he needs me. He realized he doesn’t love Tara as much as he loves me. Tara, Tara, Tara. Tara, my friend. I wondered what I would do if he wanted to be with me. I didn’t have to think very long about that.3

The ride, although over an hour, flew by, and before I knew it, I was there. Pulling down that dirt road I was so nervous I thought for sure I would get sick. Trembling with trepidation, I walked to the front door and put my hand up to knock when the door flew open. I stepped inside, Chris quickly closed it, and almost as quickly pulled me to his chest and gave me the longest, most passionate kiss I’d ever had, bar the ones in the alley that July night. 4

I pulled away and looked deep into his eyes, not even questioning this fortunate change of events. He took my hand and led me to the bedroom. To the bed he shared with Tara. He climbed onto the bed and gently led me down beside him. Our intense stares pulled us closer and closer till we were once again lip-locked. After several minutes of kisses that spoke-- SHOUTED-- volumes about our feelings, he put his hand on the back of my head and guided it to his body. Stroking my hair, he lay there with my head on his chest, every breath whispering, “I love you.” Suddenly, I sat up and looked at him. “What’s going on?”  “I love you,” he replied. “I love you too,” I barely spoke aloud. Puzzled, I stared at him. “I’m breaking up with Tara.”5

I didn’t know it was possible to feel such a range of emotions, emotions so completely opposite one another at the same time. Happy for me, sad for Tara, fearful of the future, excited at the possibilities. “I’ve been thinking a lot about ending my marriage.” I could read the same range of emotions in Chris’ face. He held my hand a long time in silence. “It’ll all work out for the best,” he finally said. I looked into his eyes and believed it. “I should go,” I said. He pulled me close and held me like that for what seemed like hours. Eventually his mouth found mine and we kissed passionately as he removed my clothes. Before I knew it he was in me, making love to me like I’d never experienced before. Not even with him. It was almost as though we were declaring our undying love for each other, a covenant proclaiming our future together. 6

When we were through, Chris lie there looking at the ceiling as I slowly, deliberately, got dressed, numb, afraid to feel yet completely excited about what might be to come. We were both quiet as he walked me to the door. At once, his arms enveloped me, and he looked into my eyes as he drew me to him for a parting kiss. “I love you.” “I know.” And I truly do know. I truly believe it. We haven’t given up after almost four years; I figure there’s got to be a reason. Right?7

©Teresa A. Brogden, March 20028