The Song

I barely knew him yet there he was all to myself. We talked almost everyday on the phone for five or six hours at a piece. He looked so different from his picture, yet everything felt right. He had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. I swear I could stare into them forever.

We entered my bedroom with his hand in mine. He said he had a surpise for me. I was a little nervous. He found my stereo and placed a cd inside of it and switched it on. He asked me to laid down and I grew more nervous. He pushed play and quickly laid next to me. I reconized the song right way. He turned to me and held me in his arms and sang.

Sang to me a song that didnt sound like a song but his heart opening to me and saying its mine forever. I liked that feeling. Never wanted it to go from me. The room felt as if it was spinning and only me and him were still. His voice bounced off the walls and surrounded me.

The song than came to and end and he looked at me with and expression with hope. I hadnt noticed than but I was crying, very soft tears and his face changed. "Whats wrong?" I looked into his loving eyes and said "Nothing, I have never been this happy."

Author notes

This is actally what my boyfriend did for me and I thought it would be perfect for this.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Hug.Trees
    August 14, 2007
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    Wow

    this is a brilliant piece of writing! Thanks for entering!!


  • just-a-lonely-girl
    August 8, 2007
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    aww... that was sweet. I loved it. great story. lovely. thanks for entering.


  • Greeneyes15
    August 5, 2007
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    :)

    I commented on this before, but i must say i'm still loving it! i think this is the sweetest thing ever! really great job! i loved it sooo much and still wish that my boyfriend would do something like this...
    Thanks so much for entering and good luck in the contest!

    --Greeneyes


  • Miss Faith
    July 30, 2007
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    I loved it!


  • iPoopAThug
    July 29, 2007

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    Aww

    This is one of those innocent sincere things, my favorite. Very well done. You can feel the emotion just dripping off of it. Nothing like music to really make a moment over the top.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • Greeneyes15
    July 29, 2007

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    Oh my gosh this was sooo sweet! It makes me wish my boyfriend would do that for me. Aww...it was just so adorible!This was very very very good! i'm glad you entered!I was totally feelin' that ! anyway, just a couple of things i notested and thought i should tell ya.
    There were a few mistake that really stuck out a bit at the very end. for example...

    'The song than came to and end and he looked at me with and expression with hope.'

    the 'than' should be 'then' and the 'and' before the word end should be 'an' and so should the one before the word expression. So it should read...

    The song then came to an end and he looked at me with an expression of hope.

    ...get it?
    You also forgot some apostrophes in there too!

    Anyway, hope that helps! I really did love this short, but sweet story! Great job and keep it up!

    --Greeneyes


  • hottygrandma
    July 27, 2007

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    It made me cry

    The warmth and deep emotion that you feel for this man was very evident in this story. I believe that getting your feelings out and down on paper is so much more important than a misspelled word here or there. Whitney, I know that man is so very special because he came out of my womb and into your life. Please never stop writing. The world needs to hear our cries. Starla


  • caitecola
    July 16, 2007
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    How beautiful! There are a few grammar errors, but I don't really care about that! You have such a romantic flare! I like the way you describe the feeling of the narrator, and the room spinning. I could picture it! And the purple was a great choice of clolor. It made me all fuzzy and happy just to look at it.
    Great Job!
    C.E.


  • heartfullofvenom
    July 15, 2007

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    Aw

    Oh my goodness. Okay I can't even see what I'm typing because this is gonna make me cry! Uhg...*tears*... this was amazing. It was your personal experience, and thats what made it even better. I love it. It's fill with emotion,hope,love everything I wanted. It's perfect in every way possible...I'm kinda lost at words, it left me kinda breathless. This IS my favorite.

    Good Luck!
    ♥

    P.S...may i ask what song it was?

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