WITH NOTHING TO OFFER
TO THE WORLD
THE WORLD HAS NOTHING
FOR ME
NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TRY
OR SCREAM AND PLEAD
AND CRY
I CAN OFFER NOTHING
TO THE WORLD
SO THE WORLD
HAS NOTHING FOR ME
WITH DARKNESS CREEPING ON ME
FROM EVERY CORNER
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MUCH I TRY
NOR RUN
NOR HIDE
I CAN OFFER NOTHING TO THE WORLD
AND THE WORLD CAN OFFER NOTHING
TO ME
SO I SIT
AND I WAIT
FOR THE WORLD TO DESECRATE WHAT LITTLE I HAVE
WHAT LITTLE I HAVE STRIVED
TO ACHIEVE
MY LIFE IS IN RUINS
MY SMALL MATCHBOX OF MEMORIES
HAS FINALLY CRUMBLED
WITH NOTHING TO LIVE FOR
YET EVERYTHING TO LONG FOR
I SIT
AND I WAIT
IN THE DARKNESS OF THE WORLD
THUS COMES
THE COMFORT
OF SECLUSION
Author notes
THIS POEM, WHILE NOT THE BEST FOR RHYMING, IS HOW I FELT AT THE MOMENT OF INSPIRATION AND WRITING... SO THIS IS HOW IT CAME OUT, NO REVISION OR ANYTHING JUST PURE HARDCORE FEELING. IN MY VIEW YOU EITHER LIKE IT OR HATE IT. THAT'S REALLY ALL. IF YOU READ IT THANKS FOR READING
A contest entry
- 1,000 Points for poetry!!! by Forgotten Anomaly.
1000 points, ended March 26, 2008, 58 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Chains unleashed! by Shiki.
1600 points, ended June 2, 2008, 57 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I like the poem, but in my notes I said no overuse of capitalization, you capitalized the entire poem. Please read the rules.
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Amazing
I love the feeling to it, and the repetition of the verses...it added depth and emotion. Fantastic poem. I'm not a fan of poems that don't rhyme, but yours changed that. It was pure feeling. And I loved every line of it.
↓♥↓
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Ummm...Your welcome? Yhis is a unique freewrite. It had no puncuation though, but I guess that's ok. Great job, I think....
Keep on Writing!!!
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Aww this is good, how depressing but very true, some of the sentences really hit home and flowed beautifully, this poem didn't need to rhyme it was fluently written on its own. I enjoyed this very much and excellent little write! well done! x x x
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I realy liked. This poems is like nothing I have read before. Good job.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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So sad...I liked the way it was written. All the 'hardcore feelings' came alive.
Very nice!!!!
Good job!
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really liked it! it was really raw... to the point and lots of inner thoughts were let out.
great write! -
This is good considering i don't usually like poetry that doesn't rhyme. But now I have a more open mind to poetry since I suck at it! The repitition is good. It's something everyone can relate to at one point of life. I like it. It's also really good to know that without editting and rereading this is already awesome. GOOD JOB!
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I do like it. I don't think it matters whether it rhymes or not. There was some rhyming, and I like it exactly the way it is. The tone is great for the words, and omg the words! I liked your word choice. Great Job. I don't even have any suggestions. I like it a lot!
C.E.
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Excellent, are you on allpoetry as well? I would stop in to read more of your poetry.
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what's allpoetry?
and thx =)
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i am sorry that you feel that way but i must do some praising for the creation the feeling has bestowed upon you...
firstly my favorite line- MY SMALL MATCHBOX OF MEMORIES- i can relate to that in a very strong way and i am a sucker for some inspirational metaphors.
also i have to say that i see some of my own writing in here with the way you use rhyming and repatition. love it!
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