I wish we were more.

I sat beside you in the Movie Theater. I was extremely scared of the scenes in the horror film, but even more scared to jump into your arms. I'm still wondering if it was a coincidence that you bumped into me here. I'm also wondering why all of yours and my friends decided to move last minute away from us, when they aren’t even friends. This seems like a set up, but it could never work.

Just as these thought are running through my head you turn and give me that gorgeous smile you always do. Everything inside of me just melts into a big blob. I smile back at you as I ponder what could be going through your mind. You actually begin to stare, still with that smile on your face. We had been talking and giggling all through the movie; we get along so well together! It would be a perfect time for a kiss, but I quickly turn back to the ongoing movie.

I've always had a little crush on you when we were growing up and going to the same school. Everyone knows it! Even the parents for gosh sakes! Everyone knows, except you... or at least I don't think you know. So, I must have forgotten all about that little when I went off to high school. Yet in less than a year later, you'll show up in my classes once again. Not only have the feelings come gushing back, but their much stronger!! much, MUCH stronger! So as you can see, I started to hang out with you more, hoping to exleast fill the 'best friend' slot.

I had a chance to go to your graduation, before this last summer started, but made up a silly excuse to the friend who invited me. The last thing I would want to do is embarrass myself in front of you, but here we sit, You staring at me, and me nervously turning away. Talk about embarrassing!

Damn I wish we were together. But there are so many reasons why we aren’t! ...Why we can't be... and… why it would never last. For starters you’re younger than I am, amazingly hot, funny, sweet and charming, but younger. Our age may only be a year off, but that still makes our friends, interests and lives so much different.

Also theirs a size difference! It could be so awkward! Yes, we are the same height (me short, him tall, weird how things work out like that), but size? Big difference. I was always a little big growing up. I could see it now, you trying to do something, as simple, as putting your arm around me, could be hard enough for you. Or maybe I’m just exaggerating. Or maybe I’m not.

I wouldn't know any more, I’ve been so confused lately. Anyway that’s not important. What are, are looks. You’re a cute boy everyone loves automatically… where as I’m an ugly girl who has to work to earn peoples love (which let me just say, is very hard for me sometimes, being the shy girl and all). Everyone would point and whisper, "isn’t that weird, HIM with HEERR?"

But then again, Maybe I’m just being stupid! You couldn’t be that shallow, could you? I don’t know! I would guess that you aren’t, well truthfully I KNOW you aren’t… It’s just… Things like this, they bother me. My mom says its low self esteem, and I just reply to her with a "erm... duh!"

Anyway theirs still one last problem, one that I’m not just blowing out of proportion. This one is the truth. Well actually... It’s been kind of hard to find the truth lately… I guess I covered it under a bunch of "I’m fat" stuff, but I found it! I thought and thought (talk about a lot of time alone). And I realized, You think of me as a great friend. A funny friend, and nothing more than that. And that Ladies and Gentlemen is the truth. I’ve always been there for you, and you’ve always been there for me. Were friends? Yes, just friends. Although, I wish we were more.