Chapter One: Rayne Winchester
Rayne was nearly asleep when she heard it. Her eyes shot open and she flew into a sitting position in her bed. Footsteps in the hall, she strained her ears listening intently for any closer noise as she slid out of bed. The sound of her mother’s scream had her rushing to her brother’s bed and pulling him out of it.
“Ryan, get under the bed.” Rayne whispered.
“But why?” He asked, sleepily.
“Just do it, Rye...and please, be quiet.” Rayne demanded gently. She rushed back to her bed and made it up, to make it look like no one had been in it, then did the same thing to Ryan’s. She slid under the bed just as the door handle began to jiggle.
“Rayne...” Ryan whispered, getting scared and Rayne quickly covered his mouth with her hand and shook her head no, signaling for him to be quiet. She watched intently as her father was pushed into the bedroom, and Rayne without even thinking about it, pressed Ryan’s face to her shoulder so that he wouldn’t have to watch.
“Who else is in the house?” The dark man, demanded.
“N-no one. Our kids are with my parents for the weekend.” Her father replied, quickly.
“Good...no witnesses then.” The dark man grumbled, and Rayne watched her father fall to the floor in front of her, choking on his own blood. Rayne dropped her forehead to the carpeted floor and tried hard to choke back the sobs. She listened to the man walk around between her bedroom and her parent’s bedroom for a while longer as the metallic smell of blood flooded her head so that she could almost taste it. She finally heard him leave and quickly slid out from under the bed.
“Ryan...keep your eyes closed, okay?”
“Are we playing a game?”
“Yeah...we’re playing a game. If you keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them I will give you a cookie, okay?”
“Chocolate chip?” He asked as Rayne reached under and began to pull him out from under the bed.
“Yes, Ryan...chocolate chip....any kind of cookie you want.” She whispered. She lifted him, and he lay his head on her shoulder. Rayne was shivering, her short auburn hair was cut to just barely brush her shoulders, and it was matted to her face and forehead with sweat. But despite the beads of sweat that slid from her forehead down the sides of her face, she was shivering, and cold...down to her bones she was cold. She stared, couldn’t help but stare at her father’s now lifeless body as it lay on the floor, and she realized he had looked under the bed...he was looking at her before he died.
“I love you, papa...” Rayne whispered softly as tears clogged her throat. She wasn’t sure what happened to her mom, and was afraid to see what might have happened to her. So instead of finding out she hurried out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the telephone in the living room where she dialed 9-1-1 for help. That was nearly six years ago now. Rayne would be twenty one in just over a month, and she was in her fourth and final year of college. Six years...and still she was able to remember everything about the night that she became an orphan. She could not erase the sights...the sounds...or even the metallic smell of the blood that had pooled around her father when she was fifteen. Her brother, Ryan was ten years younger and had just turned five a week before their parents were killed. At least he had been adopted, ‘course he was still young, once you hit your teens in an orphanage you weren’t wanted...not often anyways. But it was fine with her, her Orphanage wasn’t absolutely horrible, she was able to deal with it okay, she always had her books, and school. She wished sometimes that she knew where Ryan was now and how he was doing.
“Ms. Winchester? Are you still with us, or do I need to start from the beginning?” Her professor’s voice broke her train of thought and pulled her back into the present.
“No, Professor Brown. I’m alright.”
“Good. Moving on.”
Rayne blinked a few times, settling back into the bright lights of the classroom. Youngest in her class, she had graduated high school at seventeen and had started college shortly after turning eighteen. She had taken Criminal Justice classes in high school, and her major and the class she sat in now was a Forensic Science class. Growing up, even before her parents’ murder, she had been interested in all C.S.I shows and 48 hours, they had always intrigued her, but after her parents’ murder, it became like a religion to watch the shows ane study up on the way it really happened. It was what she wanted to do, she had known that very night that her parents had been killed. She wanted to help hunt down the killers.
“What are the consequences of forgetting your forensics kit when at a crime scene? Not only consequences coming from piers and bosses, I want to know what kind of consequences you would have to deal with personally. That is the question I want answered in tonight’s assignment. I want a three to five page essay on my desk by the end of class tomorrow, if I’m feeling generous I may give you an extension to Friday. We’ll see how it goes. Class dismissed.”
Rayne gathered her books and headed for the door.
“Rayne! Could you step over here please? I’d like to speak with you.”
“Yes, sir.” She replied, she glanced longingly at the door not wanting to be late for her next class, then walked over to Professor Brown’s desk.
“Rayne, are you sure you can handle my lectures? You can do the work in your dorm or in the library, just turn it in by the end of the day and you could still pass with flying colors.”
“Thank you professor, but I enjoy coming to class. I like listening to your lectures.”
“Rayne...” He chuckled. “I’m not even sure if you hear my lectures half the time.” He replied, making her blush. “I know that you went through a lot, and I know that these kind of things can’t be the easiest thing to listen to.”
“Look, Professor...everyone knows what I’ve been through, there just aren’t a lot of people that actually remember or realize that I am that girl. I’m glad you do and I’m glad you try to cut me some slack because of that, because you really seem to try to understand my situation. But I am the one who chose not to change my name, I want people to know who I am if they bother to think on it long enough. I want my name to mean something, and I want my work to mean something. And I can’t do that if I don’t understand every little thing about my field.” Rayne explained, with a firmness in her voice that Professor Brown wasn’t used to hearing from any of the college students, even the ones due for graduation at the end of the year.
“Alright.” He smiled admiringly, at one of the bravest girls he’d ever known, she was like a granddaughter to him, and had been since he had first met her, little did she know that was the reason he cut her the slack, and not just because of what she had been through. “I’m just concerned.”
“But why? We’re half way through the semester, why be concerned now?” Rayne asked, arching an eyebrow in curiosity. He looked at her for a moment then took a steadying breath.
“Rayne...our lesson tomorrow...it will extend over three class periods. We will be investigating a real life case, tomorrow we will do the background on the case, what you have heard, what you know, and I will fill you in on what you don’t. Friday...we will be re-creating the crime scene and in groups of two or three you will all be investigating the scene...just like you would if it were real. Then on Monday, we will discuss everyone’s findings and the conclusions and we’ll see which is correct.” Professor Brown explained.
“Sounds like a blast...a real chance for hands on experience, but I still don’t see why that’s call for concern.”
“Rayne...we’ll be using the Winchester Murders...the murder of your parents.” He finished, and watched as she paled slightly.
“Professor...I saw the scene...first hand. I still see it, nearly every night...smell it...hear everything. Why would it affect me to recreate it six years later?”
“Okay, Rayne. I just wanted you to be prepared.”
“The only thing that concerns me is that after tomorrow...everyone will know who I am, and I’m not sure how they’re going to react....how they will treat me when they know.” Rayne replied seriously.
“Fair enough then. I just wanted you to know and give you a chance to pass on the lesson. Her is a pass to let Professor Bell know why you’re late. I’ll see you tomorrow then, you’re dismissed.”
“Thank you, Professor. See you tomorrow.” Rayne replied and walked quickly out of the room. As she headed down the hall, her vision blurred and the sight of her father falling to the floor...surrounded by a pool of his own blood floated in front of her eyes again. When she collided with something and managed to again pull herself back to reality, she was embarrassed to f ind herself on the floor with her books scattered around her.
“Why don’t you watch where you’re walking, nerd.” Candace laughed and shook her head. Candace was the daughter of the biggest millionaire in Texas, and was also the girl who thought she was still in high school.
“Hey, Rayne! You alright?” The man knelt to help her gather her books and smiled into her emerald eyes.
“I...yes. I’m alright, I’m really sorry. I really should watch where I’m going.” Rayne apologized as color crept all the way up to her ears. He smiled and helped her stand, still holding her books in his free hand.
“That’s okay, I wasn’t really watching either, or I would have moved.” He laughed.
“Right. Well, I am sorry.”
“Rayne, seriously...no worries.”
“Okay...how do you know me?” Rayne asked, curiously.
“I sit next to you.”
“You do? What class?”
“Forensics...” He replied hesitantly, not sure if she was serious or joking.
“Really?” She asked with genuine surprise.
“Yeah...really.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sure I seem...really stuck up or something, but I swear I’m not. It’s just I get carried away in class, especially in Forensics. So I don’t really know a lot of people, I don’t even have a room mate in my dorm because people get annoyed by the fact that I study so much.”
“You’re kidding...”
“No.” Rayne smiled.
“Well, in that case...Hi, the name’s Drake.” He gave a boyish grin and held out his hand, causing Rayne to giggle. She couldn’t remember giggling, not in the last six years anyway.
“Rayne.” She replied as she took his hand.
“Nice to meet you.” He smiled.
“You as well.”
“So, now that we’ve officially met...what do you say we go have a cup of coffee.?”
“Huh? Oh...well I’ve got another class...I’m already late.”
“After your class then.” He suggested.
‘”Um...I dunno.”
“C’mon, I promise I don’t bite.” Drake teased and she laughed.
“Just a cup of coffee?”
“Just coffee.”
“Okay. Don’t you have a class to go to?”
“Nawh, my other classes are in the morning. I only take three, you?”
“Four.” She replied with a smile, and he whistled to show that he was impressed.
“It sure ain’t easy to find a girl who takes more than one or two classes...or a girl that has both beauty and brains. You usually only get one or the other.” Rayne blushed again and smiled. “Your husband is a lucky man.” Drake added when he caught the glimmer of the ruby winking at him from the center of a white gold engagement ring, and noticed the diamond studded wedding band that went with it.
“Huh?”
“Your husband.” He repeated and indicated the ring on her finger.
“Oh! Oh no, I’m not married...” Rayne laughed a little. “This is my mother’s...and see...” She pulled on a chain around her neck and revealed a ring that had been hidden by her shirt. “This one is my father’s.”
“They gave you their wedding bands? That’s different.”
“No...they passed away...so I got to keep them.”
“Oh...” Drake watched her face, and it seemed to dim. It was like watching a good movie on a black and white television, a movie that you know is normally in color, and you long to see the colors., and her eyes seemed to glaze over. “Rayne?”
“Hm...?” She sounded distant.
“I’m sorry about your parents.”
“It’s fine...well, I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? I thought you were going to grab some coffee with me later.”
“I’m sorry...I just don’t feel up to it today...maybe another time.” She replied and hurried down the hall.
“Rayne-.” He called after her but she kept going, he still had half of her books in his own arm. He headed for his dorm, trying to figure out what he had said or done to run her off. The incident with her parents must be pretty recent he thought. It was the only thing that made sense, wasn’t it? Why else would it be affecting her so much just to speak of them? He wondered.
Rayne walked out of her Criminal Justice class, feeling absolutely exhausted. She made her way to her dorm, looking forward to curling up with a notebook and beginning her essay for her Forensics class. She dug out her key as she turned down the hall leading to her dorm, but as she approached her door she spotted a cup of coffee sitting in front of it.
“What the-?” She glanced around, then bent to pick up the coffee, which to her surprise was still decently warm. When she straightened, she spotted the note taped to her door and blushed. Great, how many people have stopped to read this already? She wondered.
Rayne,
If you want your books back, bring your coffee and meet me in the library. It’s not a date, we can study together.
Your Friend,
Drake
Rayne smiled, but managed to suppress the giggle that rose into her throat. She folded up the note and tucked it into her pocket. She removed the coffee from the top of her books and with coffee in one hand and her books in the other, she headed for the library.
“Ah, good. I wasn’t sure you were going to come.” Drake stated softly, when Rayne sat down across the table from him.
“I was planning on doing a little studying anyways, and you have my books. But thank you, for the coffee.” She whispered with a small smile.
“Right, down to business then.” He replied and flipped open a notebook. Rayne pulled out her paper and a pen and began to write. When Drake glanced about fifteen minutes later, he was surprised to see that she was still writing, and had yet to open a book. He smiled and shook his head in astonishment, and went back to his notes. When six thirty rolled around, Rayne was leaning back in her chair and rubbing her eyes, while Drake stood and stretched his legs.
“What do you say we call it a night?” He asked, and she nodded. But instead of collecting her books, she put her glasses back on and went back to her book. Drake laughed and reached across the table and closed her book.
“C’mon, you look like you’re about to pass out; you can study more tomorrow.” He told her. Rayne looked at him for a moment then gave him a sleepy smile and removed her reading glasses. He helped her gather her books and they headed out of the library. They walked in silence for a couple minutes before Drake finally broke the almost awkward silence.
“So, what other classes are you taking?”
“Criminal Justice...anthropology...and chemistry.”
“Wow...really intense in the criminal field, aren’t you?” He asked with a grin.
“Criminal Field? No, I hate criminals. I can’t believe you would suggest something so...so crazy!” Rayne fired, defensively.
“Hey, hold on there cowgirl. I mean, on solving mysteries...ya know, catching the criminals, not being one.” He replied, shocked at her outburst.
“Oh...that.” Rayne blushed, and Drake watched as her eyes glistened with what he thought might be tears, before they glazed over again.. “I’m not intense on anything. I just can’t quite decide what I want to do.” She lied. “Thank you again, for the coffee and inviting me to study with you...see you around.” She added, and made sure to grab her books before she rushed away to her dorm.
“Damn it!” He cursed, as he watched her run off for the second time, and decided that the smart thing to do would probably be to leave her be and give it up, there was clearly a wall there. But if there was one thing he hated doing, it was giving up on anything, and he was determined to get through that wall. I don’t care how long it takes...I’ll get her to open up to me...even just as a friend. I’ve got to get through that wall. He decided as he turned and headed in the direction of his own dorm room.
Rayne was nearly asleep when she heard it. Her eyes shot open and she flew into a sitting position in her bed. Footsteps in the hall, she strained her ears listening intently for any closer noise as she slid out of bed. The sound of her mother’s scream had her rushing to her brother’s bed and pulling him out of it.
“Ryan, get under the bed.” Rayne whispered.
“But why?” He asked, sleepily.
“Just do it, Rye...and please, be quiet.” Rayne demanded gently. She rushed back to her bed and made it up, to make it look like no one had been in it, then did the same thing to Ryan’s. She slid under the bed just as the door handle began to jiggle.
“Rayne...” Ryan whispered, getting scared and Rayne quickly covered his mouth with her hand and shook her head no, signaling for him to be quiet. She watched intently as her father was pushed into the bedroom, and Rayne without even thinking about it, pressed Ryan’s face to her shoulder so that he wouldn’t have to watch.
“Who else is in the house?” The dark man, demanded.
“N-no one. Our kids are with my parents for the weekend.” Her father replied, quickly.
“Good...no witnesses then.” The dark man grumbled, and Rayne watched her father fall to the floor in front of her, choking on his own blood. Rayne dropped her forehead to the carpeted floor and tried hard to choke back the sobs. She listened to the man walk around between her bedroom and her parent’s bedroom for a while longer as the metallic smell of blood flooded her head so that she could almost taste it. She finally heard him leave and quickly slid out from under the bed.
“Ryan...keep your eyes closed, okay?”
“Are we playing a game?”
“Yeah...we’re playing a game. If you keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them I will give you a cookie, okay?”
“Chocolate chip?” He asked as Rayne reached under and began to pull him out from under the bed.
“Yes, Ryan...chocolate chip....any kind of cookie you want.” She whispered. She lifted him, and he lay his head on her shoulder. Rayne was shivering, her short auburn hair was cut to just barely brush her shoulders, and it was matted to her face and forehead with sweat. But despite the beads of sweat that slid from her forehead down the sides of her face, she was shivering, and cold...down to her bones she was cold. She stared, couldn’t help but stare at her father’s now lifeless body as it lay on the floor, and she realized he had looked under the bed...he was looking at her before he died.
“I love you, papa...” Rayne whispered softly as tears clogged her throat. She wasn’t sure what happened to her mom, and was afraid to see what might have happened to her. So instead of finding out she hurried out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the telephone in the living room where she dialed 9-1-1 for help. That was nearly six years ago now. Rayne would be twenty one in just over a month, and she was in her fourth and final year of college. Six years...and still she was able to remember everything about the night that she became an orphan. She could not erase the sights...the sounds...or even the metallic smell of the blood that had pooled around her father when she was fifteen. Her brother, Ryan was ten years younger and had just turned five a week before their parents were killed. At least he had been adopted, ‘course he was still young, once you hit your teens in an orphanage you weren’t wanted...not often anyways. But it was fine with her, her Orphanage wasn’t absolutely horrible, she was able to deal with it okay, she always had her books, and school. She wished sometimes that she knew where Ryan was now and how he was doing.
“Ms. Winchester? Are you still with us, or do I need to start from the beginning?” Her professor’s voice broke her train of thought and pulled her back into the present.
“No, Professor Brown. I’m alright.”
“Good. Moving on.”
Rayne blinked a few times, settling back into the bright lights of the classroom. Youngest in her class, she had graduated high school at seventeen and had started college shortly after turning eighteen. She had taken Criminal Justice classes in high school, and her major and the class she sat in now was a Forensic Science class. Growing up, even before her parents’ murder, she had been interested in all C.S.I shows and 48 hours, they had always intrigued her, but after her parents’ murder, it became like a religion to watch the shows ane study up on the way it really happened. It was what she wanted to do, she had known that very night that her parents had been killed. She wanted to help hunt down the killers.
“What are the consequences of forgetting your forensics kit when at a crime scene? Not only consequences coming from piers and bosses, I want to know what kind of consequences you would have to deal with personally. That is the question I want answered in tonight’s assignment. I want a three to five page essay on my desk by the end of class tomorrow, if I’m feeling generous I may give you an extension to Friday. We’ll see how it goes. Class dismissed.”
Rayne gathered her books and headed for the door.
“Rayne! Could you step over here please? I’d like to speak with you.”
“Yes, sir.” She replied, she glanced longingly at the door not wanting to be late for her next class, then walked over to Professor Brown’s desk.
“Rayne, are you sure you can handle my lectures? You can do the work in your dorm or in the library, just turn it in by the end of the day and you could still pass with flying colors.”
“Thank you professor, but I enjoy coming to class. I like listening to your lectures.”
“Rayne...” He chuckled. “I’m not even sure if you hear my lectures half the time.” He replied, making her blush. “I know that you went through a lot, and I know that these kind of things can’t be the easiest thing to listen to.”
“Look, Professor...everyone knows what I’ve been through, there just aren’t a lot of people that actually remember or realize that I am that girl. I’m glad you do and I’m glad you try to cut me some slack because of that, because you really seem to try to understand my situation. But I am the one who chose not to change my name, I want people to know who I am if they bother to think on it long enough. I want my name to mean something, and I want my work to mean something. And I can’t do that if I don’t understand every little thing about my field.” Rayne explained, with a firmness in her voice that Professor Brown wasn’t used to hearing from any of the college students, even the ones due for graduation at the end of the year.
“Alright.” He smiled admiringly, at one of the bravest girls he’d ever known, she was like a granddaughter to him, and had been since he had first met her, little did she know that was the reason he cut her the slack, and not just because of what she had been through. “I’m just concerned.”
“But why? We’re half way through the semester, why be concerned now?” Rayne asked, arching an eyebrow in curiosity. He looked at her for a moment then took a steadying breath.
“Rayne...our lesson tomorrow...it will extend over three class periods. We will be investigating a real life case, tomorrow we will do the background on the case, what you have heard, what you know, and I will fill you in on what you don’t. Friday...we will be re-creating the crime scene and in groups of two or three you will all be investigating the scene...just like you would if it were real. Then on Monday, we will discuss everyone’s findings and the conclusions and we’ll see which is correct.” Professor Brown explained.
“Sounds like a blast...a real chance for hands on experience, but I still don’t see why that’s call for concern.”
“Rayne...we’ll be using the Winchester Murders...the murder of your parents.” He finished, and watched as she paled slightly.
“Professor...I saw the scene...first hand. I still see it, nearly every night...smell it...hear everything. Why would it affect me to recreate it six years later?”
“Okay, Rayne. I just wanted you to be prepared.”
“The only thing that concerns me is that after tomorrow...everyone will know who I am, and I’m not sure how they’re going to react....how they will treat me when they know.” Rayne replied seriously.
“Fair enough then. I just wanted you to know and give you a chance to pass on the lesson. Her is a pass to let Professor Bell know why you’re late. I’ll see you tomorrow then, you’re dismissed.”
“Thank you, Professor. See you tomorrow.” Rayne replied and walked quickly out of the room. As she headed down the hall, her vision blurred and the sight of her father falling to the floor...surrounded by a pool of his own blood floated in front of her eyes again. When she collided with something and managed to again pull herself back to reality, she was embarrassed to f ind herself on the floor with her books scattered around her.
“Why don’t you watch where you’re walking, nerd.” Candace laughed and shook her head. Candace was the daughter of the biggest millionaire in Texas, and was also the girl who thought she was still in high school.
“Hey, Rayne! You alright?” The man knelt to help her gather her books and smiled into her emerald eyes.
“I...yes. I’m alright, I’m really sorry. I really should watch where I’m going.” Rayne apologized as color crept all the way up to her ears. He smiled and helped her stand, still holding her books in his free hand.
“That’s okay, I wasn’t really watching either, or I would have moved.” He laughed.
“Right. Well, I am sorry.”
“Rayne, seriously...no worries.”
“Okay...how do you know me?” Rayne asked, curiously.
“I sit next to you.”
“You do? What class?”
“Forensics...” He replied hesitantly, not sure if she was serious or joking.
“Really?” She asked with genuine surprise.
“Yeah...really.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sure I seem...really stuck up or something, but I swear I’m not. It’s just I get carried away in class, especially in Forensics. So I don’t really know a lot of people, I don’t even have a room mate in my dorm because people get annoyed by the fact that I study so much.”
“You’re kidding...”
“No.” Rayne smiled.
“Well, in that case...Hi, the name’s Drake.” He gave a boyish grin and held out his hand, causing Rayne to giggle. She couldn’t remember giggling, not in the last six years anyway.
“Rayne.” She replied as she took his hand.
“Nice to meet you.” He smiled.
“You as well.”
“So, now that we’ve officially met...what do you say we go have a cup of coffee.?”
“Huh? Oh...well I’ve got another class...I’m already late.”
“After your class then.” He suggested.
‘”Um...I dunno.”
“C’mon, I promise I don’t bite.” Drake teased and she laughed.
“Just a cup of coffee?”
“Just coffee.”
“Okay. Don’t you have a class to go to?”
“Nawh, my other classes are in the morning. I only take three, you?”
“Four.” She replied with a smile, and he whistled to show that he was impressed.
“It sure ain’t easy to find a girl who takes more than one or two classes...or a girl that has both beauty and brains. You usually only get one or the other.” Rayne blushed again and smiled. “Your husband is a lucky man.” Drake added when he caught the glimmer of the ruby winking at him from the center of a white gold engagement ring, and noticed the diamond studded wedding band that went with it.
“Huh?”
“Your husband.” He repeated and indicated the ring on her finger.
“Oh! Oh no, I’m not married...” Rayne laughed a little. “This is my mother’s...and see...” She pulled on a chain around her neck and revealed a ring that had been hidden by her shirt. “This one is my father’s.”
“They gave you their wedding bands? That’s different.”
“No...they passed away...so I got to keep them.”
“Oh...” Drake watched her face, and it seemed to dim. It was like watching a good movie on a black and white television, a movie that you know is normally in color, and you long to see the colors., and her eyes seemed to glaze over. “Rayne?”
“Hm...?” She sounded distant.
“I’m sorry about your parents.”
“It’s fine...well, I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? I thought you were going to grab some coffee with me later.”
“I’m sorry...I just don’t feel up to it today...maybe another time.” She replied and hurried down the hall.
“Rayne-.” He called after her but she kept going, he still had half of her books in his own arm. He headed for his dorm, trying to figure out what he had said or done to run her off. The incident with her parents must be pretty recent he thought. It was the only thing that made sense, wasn’t it? Why else would it be affecting her so much just to speak of them? He wondered.
Rayne walked out of her Criminal Justice class, feeling absolutely exhausted. She made her way to her dorm, looking forward to curling up with a notebook and beginning her essay for her Forensics class. She dug out her key as she turned down the hall leading to her dorm, but as she approached her door she spotted a cup of coffee sitting in front of it.
“What the-?” She glanced around, then bent to pick up the coffee, which to her surprise was still decently warm. When she straightened, she spotted the note taped to her door and blushed. Great, how many people have stopped to read this already? She wondered.
Rayne,
If you want your books back, bring your coffee and meet me in the library. It’s not a date, we can study together.
Your Friend,
Drake
Rayne smiled, but managed to suppress the giggle that rose into her throat. She folded up the note and tucked it into her pocket. She removed the coffee from the top of her books and with coffee in one hand and her books in the other, she headed for the library.
“Ah, good. I wasn’t sure you were going to come.” Drake stated softly, when Rayne sat down across the table from him.
“I was planning on doing a little studying anyways, and you have my books. But thank you, for the coffee.” She whispered with a small smile.
“Right, down to business then.” He replied and flipped open a notebook. Rayne pulled out her paper and a pen and began to write. When Drake glanced about fifteen minutes later, he was surprised to see that she was still writing, and had yet to open a book. He smiled and shook his head in astonishment, and went back to his notes. When six thirty rolled around, Rayne was leaning back in her chair and rubbing her eyes, while Drake stood and stretched his legs.
“What do you say we call it a night?” He asked, and she nodded. But instead of collecting her books, she put her glasses back on and went back to her book. Drake laughed and reached across the table and closed her book.
“C’mon, you look like you’re about to pass out; you can study more tomorrow.” He told her. Rayne looked at him for a moment then gave him a sleepy smile and removed her reading glasses. He helped her gather her books and they headed out of the library. They walked in silence for a couple minutes before Drake finally broke the almost awkward silence.
“So, what other classes are you taking?”
“Criminal Justice...anthropology...and chemistry.”
“Wow...really intense in the criminal field, aren’t you?” He asked with a grin.
“Criminal Field? No, I hate criminals. I can’t believe you would suggest something so...so crazy!” Rayne fired, defensively.
“Hey, hold on there cowgirl. I mean, on solving mysteries...ya know, catching the criminals, not being one.” He replied, shocked at her outburst.
“Oh...that.” Rayne blushed, and Drake watched as her eyes glistened with what he thought might be tears, before they glazed over again.. “I’m not intense on anything. I just can’t quite decide what I want to do.” She lied. “Thank you again, for the coffee and inviting me to study with you...see you around.” She added, and made sure to grab her books before she rushed away to her dorm.
“Damn it!” He cursed, as he watched her run off for the second time, and decided that the smart thing to do would probably be to leave her be and give it up, there was clearly a wall there. But if there was one thing he hated doing, it was giving up on anything, and he was determined to get through that wall. I don’t care how long it takes...I’ll get her to open up to me...even just as a friend. I’ve got to get through that wall. He decided as he turned and headed in the direction of his own dorm room.
Author notes
My Fav. Band - - Rascal Flatts
My very first Mystery, though it has romance thrown in, i have never written a mystery, so please bare with me and if you have ANY suggestions plz message me! Thank You!
Amanda
In a list
A contest entry
- Imagination by Miss Hanako Cullen.
115 points, ended July 12, 2007, 7 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Prompts - Loads Of Them by Asfand.
225 points, ended July 23, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Heart and Soul by Greeneyes15.
175 points, ended August 5, 2007, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Once upon a time...isn't how this contest begins. by lovely nightmare.
400 points, ended August 13, 2007, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Fight for your life! by Miss Chell.
300 points, ended September 2, 2007, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - More Options by LostSoulOfRage.
375 points, ended September 11, 2007, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I put the laughter in manslaughter by Trillian.
450 points, ended September 18, 2007, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Kiss me Kill me by vamplover22907.
1000 points, ended September 7, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Nice story, but it was 700 words over my limit, I made an exception to 300 or 400 words over, but not 700
I'm sooo sry
I won't DQ it cause I think that's just mean, but you'll have a harder chance of winning the contest. Again I'mm really sry beacause I enjoyed the story, but I have to be fair
Very noce story though, and thx 4 entering my contest!
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CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Its the hardest thing when you write murders scenes and action scenes because its hard for the reader to make sense of it all..but most of it did completely fall into place.
The only thing was, I would think to make it more simple and even more 'in your face--depressing' maybe Rayne shields her brother under the bed and then sees her father, helpless and alone.
I really liked that sequence, it was so sad and the idea of the fathers dead eyes staring at her was a haunting idea.
I didn't like that Ryan had no idea what was going on. Yes, he was just a little child, but he was old enough to understand that there was danger. He heard his father say they weren't there..he'd be confused..he'd start talking..questioning Rayne..its hard for a little boy to be in the scene because of that..but I liked it..just I guess..make Rayne more controlling and maybe holding her hand over his mouth..which I believe she did, but maybe for most of the scene..especially if the father is dead on the floor, I don't think they'd be talking about cookies..but I do understand the effect you were going for..and I did like..its just tough..with action, things that seem so good and powerful might not make sense..or might be hard to believe.
The murderer, even in his small part was the most powerful. Not because he killed the parents but..he didn't care if the kids were there. Like, the father said the kids weren't home..and the murderer excepted that without question..that is so sinister and dark..he didn't care who was dead..just as long as someone was.
Sorry, I ramble..
Thank you for entering my contest. -
This is a very good start for a story. I think you need to work on the transition from her memory of the murders to the present a little bit more. Also, there are a few run on sentences that need to be worked on -- the biggest one I remember right now would be when she was talking to the professor. There was a reaaally long sentence about how she was like his grandfather and stuff. Try dividing that into a few more sentences. Other than that, this was a pretty good write, good luck in my contest!
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Good Job!!!!
Very good. I liked the story and i'm falling for that guy Drake
lol! anyway, you do have many grammar¶graphing mistakes in there, so be careful. Overall good job though! keep up the good writing anf continue with this story! thnx for entering and good luck!!
--Greeneyes
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ooooooo i love this........i hope you write more soon..........i'm hooked on this story now........can't wait to read more........caylierose
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Good, Good
I liked it. Very well written, liked the characters and the storyline. Good job!
beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
1 - 7 of 7






