Hato raced onto the playground. It was lunch time and she had her nuts, cookies, and her juice box in a bag. Sitting on the swing, just like she had the day before, she began to eat her lunch.
Hato didn’t see that little girl that she had comforted yesterday. “She must be sick today,” Hato thought.
This was only her second day at her new school and she began to like it. She loved her teacher. No one had ever called her special before.
But as Hato was sitting there thinking, she saw a boy walk up to another little boy and grab his lunch away. A gasp escaped her lips and Hato put on a face she had never made before: she was mad. “Hey,” she called to the bully. “Give that back!” She dropped her own lunch and ran to the boy’s rescue. As she got closer, she noticed that he was the same kid from before, Billy, who had called her a freak. But Hato didn’t know why he was picking on the boy and not her. After all, she was the one who looked different than all the others in the school.
Hato’s wings flapped angrily and her squirrel tail swooshed back and forth. Her rodent ears stood on end. Her blonde hair flowed in the wind and her blue eyes glared menacingly, her eyebrows scrunched together in a scowl.
Hato charged at the Billy, who was holding the sacked lunch over the boy’s head, out of his reach. “Billy, that isn’t very nice!”
This time Billy looked at her. “And just what are you gonna do about it, you little freak?” By this time, he dropped the lunch into the boy’s hands and began to step closer to the girl. Billy stretched out his arms and pushed Hato roughly.
She kicked him between the legs. “I like nuts, sure. I like to kick them when punishment is deserved!” But Billy moved back just in time. Hato huffed at this.
Billy reached over and pulled Hato’s tail. She began to howl in pain. When he let go, Billy pushed her to the ground, scraping her arm on the concrete. Hato began to cry. But Billy just laughed and walked away. And on his way, Billy took the lunch of the other boy again and walked off.
Defeated, the boy went to go sit with Hato. He helped her to the office and she thanked him. But Hato’s pain greater inside that she couldn’t help him than the pain she felt in her arm.
Before the boy turned to leave, he hugged Hato and thanked her for her efforts.
Hato may have lost against the bully, but she made a friend in the process.
Author notes
This is a sequel to my story To Be Different. But I wrote it so that it can be read on its own.
P.S.
Option IV
A contest entry
- Original Options, Including Elvis & Area 51! by DoaDM.
175 points, ended July 12, 2007, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Children's Stories by Delfishie.
350 points, ended August 31, 2007, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Stories....FANTASY!!! Ends soon soo enter enter enter!!! by Baba Jojo.
115 points, ended September 1, 2007, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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wonderful job on this one...interesting and delightful to read. I wish it were longer...it'll make me hang on to every word....
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Pretty good! But, like Delfishie said, if the ending were longer, it'd make the story great.
There was one thing I noticed: "another little boy and grabbed his lunch away." I think "grab" is the correct tense.
Great job and good luck in the contest.
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Wow, the font is pretty dark. If you made it lighter, it'd be much easier to read.
"“I like nuts, sure. I like to kick them when punishment is deserved!”" - HAH! Hahahah! LOL! That's so great!
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I really like your writing style. For children's stories, the writing needs to be crisp and direct, without breaking off into lots of detail and introspection. You write children's stories very well.
The ending was rather abrupt, although it had a nice message to it. I would have liked this story to have been much longer, with more detail about hato's future relationship with the boy (friendship or otherwise), and if the story were longer, then the ending would probably be much more satisfying.
This was a very nice story. Good job. -
Too Bad.
The good guys lost. That's too bad. I don't know much about this Hato character. She seems to find herself in trouble often. Thanks for entering our contest.
Andy
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Why?
You know, I'm a child, so I guess it would make sense since you're entered in a children's story contest, I can tell you what I think as a kid. You really had me hooked until you started talking about the squirrel tail and so on, when I realized it was simply fiction. Perhaps I'd like it more if it were more realistic, like if Hato was from another race. But I know other children might like it, so Kudos to you for trying something like this. To me the idea just clashes with your main character. -
Awww, I think that I really like Hato because she's so very sweet. You've done really well here
- BrokenWingsFly - -
Kawaii!
Onee-chan! You made Hato so sweet! Not that she isn't in the first place, like in NAWKI. I love your writing style too. =^_^=
~Willow-'nee-sukibeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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AWWW!!! ^o^
She's so sweet! Standing up for someone she didn't know, and though she didn't succeed, she made a new friend!! SWEET!!!
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Superhero!
this made me laugh, and i'm not sure why, I like the way Hato was a different hero, not one that looked normal but had powers. I really liked this short, and i wish you the best of luck in my contest!
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