Nexus

Had I known that would be the last time I'd see my beloved Balla, I would probably have said something more meaningful. I remember entering her small, seven foot by eight foot, candle lit bedchamber. It was early morning but the windowless room was always covered in a shroud of darkness. She eyed me from her sickbed as I entered the room. The Devine Lord only knows how she found the strength to watch me as I moved closer. "You’re late," she chastised me as I knelt, gripping one of her now claw-like hands. Those hands, I had held on our joining day, had once been full of the pinkness of life, but now they were closer to grey than to white.1

"I came as soon as I could," even to my ears it sounded like a bad excuse. Truth be told, I'd spent every scrap of free time and money I had, working on the nexus project. I knew it was going to be big, but how big and what it would cost me; I could never have comprehended at that time.2

"I know." Better for her to accept the lie in her dying days, than to question if her husband’s loyalty was truly to her.3

I left her soon after, in that dark, dank room and headed out into a world of bright lights and cheery faces. Bakers delivering their morning load waved at me like we were old friends, yet my mood allowed me extend only a sharp nod. I knew time was short for my Balla so I made my way, with all respectable haste, to the smithy on the other side of the town.4

Tools of his craft arranged handily in a leather belt, the cheery, soot covered smith met me with a smile on his face. I doubt my forced smile reached my eyes as I inquired as to the condition of the pieces I had left with him the day before. We chatted idly for what seemed like an age but what was in truth only a quarter turn of the clock. Throughout thoughts of my beloved Balla and my obsession Nexus vied for my attention and as I picked up what was ready, the latter was winning.5

Stepping out into the warm sun once more, my stride lengthened so that I might reach my workshop all the quicker. Once inside the strong oak door, I could abandon my false identity; the mask I showed to the outside world. Once inside, I could spend time with my new love.6

As the door clicked to a close, I threw my jacket over a nearby chair and hurried down the three stone steps the separated the entranceway from my main workspace. Occupying the center of the room greedily was the gateway that would speed me away from this world, away from by dear Balla and catapult me into a world of confused chaos. This was my infatuation, my nexus gate.7

Taking up my hammer and a handful of nails, I moved to the great beast of a machine and began to affix the new parts I’d acquired earlier that morning. Having fixed the final piece into position, just above the yawning mouth, I stepped back to admire my creation. An unattractive beast the gateway looked like a rudimentary doorway, great hunks of metal creating a portal that would prove to be the single greatest accomplishment in my life, and my most despicable hubris. 8

Only hours later I stood before my completed work, electricity flowing freely through the wire coils that littered the floor around it. There was very little evidence to suggest that anything was actually happening apart from the slight ripple to the air within the portal. Bracing myself I prepared to venture into the mouth for the first time. Tying a rope to my belt, the other end attached to a stout beam, I stepped forward over the threshold and left this world and my Balla behind.