Just Jump

I was standing so close. I could see the pavement, it was only about twenty feet at most. I knew it would be okay, I would land on the snow. They had the 9-1 on the cell phone they said, they would just add the 1 when I needed it. 1

"It won't hurt! It isn't even that high! I'll land on the snow.....I can almost gaurentee it! Can I jump now?" I shouted down to them, as they stared up at me.2

"How about you just slide down. It would be just as fun."  They tried to convince me.3

"...but I want to. Please? Can I jump?" I don't know why I needed their permission.4

"sure.....I have it dialed....so sure. go ahead. JUMP!" They mocked me.5

"will you be mad at me? Can I jump?"6

"Not mad, sad when you die. But not mad. Go ahead. Go on..."7

"ok," as I moved even closer to the edge. I gazed down towards the pavement... "it looks so far! Hold on...I can do it..."8

"JUMP!"9

"ok. one ....twoo........three....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I screamed as I flailed towards the solid ground.10

*CRUMPTH*11

"that was fun. I wanna do it again." I excitedly exclaimed to my friends.12

"that wasn't half as exciting as I thought it would be.." as she deleted the 9-1 from her cell screen. 13

"so you wanted me to go splat!?" I felt rejected.14

"no. just something exciting..."15

*oh. great.* I think as I allow my body to hang onto their damp cloths, wishing they had tried harder to stop me.16

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~17

And that was the day, that I realised that my friends thought I was  18

just playing. I was playing, but not the way they thought. I wasn't playing with emotions, I was playing with death.19

Author notes

It's not done yet. The ending isn't right.
Anything you can suggest so far?

What did you think? Please comment!

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • holic07
    February 19, 2004
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    I loved that story great job I hope to see more. and that is sad that they didnt try harder to stop you from jumping I would have kept telling you to not jump instead of telling you to jump that is just crap well talk to you later oh by the way check out my thing.


  • mofomonkee
    April 24, 2003
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    i really like this, its sad that the friends dont know what the jumper was really thinking...i like how you did that, great job
    ~mofo

  • Harpagonis
    March 29, 2003
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    yeah... i too have played with death. if someone sees me BMXing vert, i bail alot. people look at me likes im just trying to act tough because im bleeding from the head... but sometimes i say to myself "it will look like an accident". i know exactly what you mean... defying death can sometimes be sport and sometimes be business... anyway, ill stop rambling before it carries me away. this was an excellent write, but id agree the ending needs a little bit more work. good job still. keep it up


  • March 29, 2003
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    Good write

    Telling it like it is! Very expressive write. Hope this did not happen to you and this was your muse speaking. Freeways Mom


  • March 10, 2003
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    neutral

    Umm okay....Is there an Ending?

1 - 5 of 5