I was wheezing and coughing for indeed where I had landed it was quite dusty. But I looked round excited. It was another TimeLord’s ship. The reason I was excited is because my father is a TimeLord, and lucky for me I inherited this ability. But I’m not sure he knows about me. My mother Rose never really talked about him. Although I wish she had, because then I would know what he looks like. But mom says I do look some what like him. But I only have his eyes other wise I look like my mom. Blond hair cute button nose and all that jazz. As I was walking around I felt the oddest feeling that I was being fallowed. You know that feeling that odd feeling that someone is watching you. Then I smelled a sickly sweet smell. I felt incredible faint then my vision faded into a dark black tunnel. When I woke up I made an attempt to move but when I tried to move my hands, but they were tied behind my back.
“When did you drop in.” I knew that voice. It was Mickey’s voice
“Mickey is that you.” My voice sounded so dazed.
“How do you know my name.”
“Mickey I’m Roses daughter Asmer Kiros.” I was scared. I mean wouldn’t you be if you were staring at some crazed guy who has the name of a character from Disney, and he looked pretty insane from what I could tell.
“Wait Rose named you Time Lord?!?” He looked well how to put it nicely CRAZY!!!! Then I heard another voice. A voice that I had heard from sometime ago in my early years of childhood. It was DAD!!!!! Well to me he was dad but he may not know it’s me.
“Mickey what are you doing??”
“I found a stowaway.”
“I am not a stowaway. I just landed here by accident. And I am just looking for my father. He’s called the Doctor. But.”
“How do you know my name??” He so rudely cut me off. But by then I had worked my way out of my bindings. I stood up proud and tall.
Author notes
I would think it would be cool if the Doctor had a child he didn't know about. But she is also a time lord and she landed there by accident. Rose named her Asmer which means time in welsh and Kiros which means lord in African. I thought this would be cool. But I am still thinking of what to write next. rember it is UNFINSHED
A contest entry
- Fan Fiction Dr. Who by Danna Hobart.
100 points, ended October 2, 2007, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Booted- Sorry, but I specifically said no Rose stuff. Even if I did buy into it, I've seen this fic happen so many time it's dull to me.
I know it seems like I'm not giving you a chance, but come on. .. You don't need to do this to write a good fanfiction. The Doctor is like.. the only character in history capable of about just anything.. Theres no need to use played out plots. -
My deepest apologies. Whilst I liked each entry, 5 entries, for me, was not enough to sufficiently and fairly judge a contest. I wanted plenty to choose from - but 5 entries and 5 prizes just didn't feel worth it. For this, I have removed each entry and closed the contest.
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good idea
I like your idea a lot, but the writing was a bit choppy, I felt. Good luck in the contest!
Trillian =) -
This is an awesome story. I love the Doctor Who shows! I think this is an awesome concept. You should make this into a chapter story. Really! Enjoyed the read!!!
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This only needs a little explanation to further the understanding. You might want to add INTO the story what her name means instead of having it in your notes, for example.
But other than that, as well as some grammar/spelling mistakes, it's a really good start and I'm quite eager to read some more! You should write more and I'll keep checking to see that you do. I quite liked it!
Good luck!
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