"Hi Marina!"
"Hi, Timmy."
"You look beautiful today."
"Thanks, Timmy." I knew that a lot of people thought I was beautiful, although sometimes I felt rather average. I had brown hair, gray eyes, and I was slender and average in size. My family were white Russian, but I'd been born in America. There were many guys who had crushes on me and Timmy was as hooked on me as any of them. I could tell it by the puppy dog look in his eyes and the way he always followed me around without trying to be obvious. He was too afraid to ask me out. It was funny, but a lot of guys are that way. They just watch from the sidelines, so to speak, and never actually get into the game. Timmy was one of those, but at least he had the courage to talk to me. Many didn't.
"You coming to the game?" I asked being friendly, though I knew he would be there. It was always wise to keep up my image. I had worked hard for my popularity. As a cheerleader there were hours of practice everyday after school. I had started my sophomore year in high school and I was a junior in college now. My popularity had been greater in high school because practically everyone knew the cheerleaders, but in college, though there may have been more students in number, the percentage that knew me was less.
"You know I wouldn't miss it," answered Timmy.
"Tell me honestly, do you come to watch the game or to watch me?" I asked him pointedly putting him on the spot.
He shuffled on his feet in place, his face turned red as he blushed, but he answered, "I'm afraid that might be incriminating if I tell you." He managed a smile, regaining his composure. He was a rather slight young man with dark hair and penetrating blue eyes. It was nice to see him smile. I could see his sincerity. Of course, there could never be anything between us because he was the quiet loner type and my life style demanded someone who was popular and outgoing.
"I'll bet you don't know the name of the quarterback!"
"Johnny Jacobs," he said laughing.
"Just testing." The quarterback is almost always the most popular football player on the team and it was sort of a goal of mine to have sex at least once with the quarterback. I had done this first with one of the quarterbacks in highschool, but it was mostly his idea. Since then I had made it a point to try to make it with the quarterback, the current one included. My promiscuity had made it difficult for me to keep a boyfriend, however, and I had the reputation of being easy among the players. This was probably true, I did like sex. I didn't like to think of myself as a slut, though I suppose I was becoming such. I liked to think of myself as a modern age woman. The first string quarterback was the trophy jock, of course.
Johnny Jacobs had given into me during a moment of weakness. His steady girl had been stuck in town during an out of town game. We had to stay over at a motel and I fucked him in the aisle in an empty bus. I would have preferred a motel room, but we all had to share our rooms. He was good as a strong healthy man usually is. I had probably slept with ten of the most popular jocks in our college.
"I'll look for you at the game," I lied. I would probably see him, but hunting Timmy among the crowd was something I would never do. I could count on him to find me at least for a moment before the game was finished. He was as addicted to me as I was to popularity.
I went to my Mass Media class. I was a broadcasting major with a minor in theatrical arts. I hoped to become a television anchor or correspondant. "Hi Marina," said Karen.
I sat across from her and said, "Heya Karen." Karen was a nobody, but I was able to talk to her about anything for just that reason. I was basically the only friend she seemed to have. She was mousey with light brown hair and brown eyes. We were about the same size. She counted it a privilege to be my friend. That was really not unusual, but I felt I could trust her. I was closer to her than I was to anyone, not that I really needed anyone.
"Have you got the assignment ready?" she asked.
"Yes." It was a research paper that was due on Monday the following week. "You?"
"No, not yet. I was hoping you might help me with it."
"We could get together Sunday at the library."
"That would be great," she said relieved. It was a small price to pay for her loyalty.
The game was in town on Saturday at three. The most difficult stunt we would do was the double pyramid. Mostly we would just cheer, chant and dance. The practices alone kept us in pretty good shape, but I also did a thirty minute workout each day in addition to that. I had an average bust, but I regarded my legs as perfect. They were long and shapely. We wore short blue skirts with panties attached and knit gray tops that exposed our bellies and navels.
The game was close and the players played extra hard. There was more than the usual excitement and at the end of the game, one score separated the teams, 34 to 30. We were at the goal line as the last seconds passed. Fourth down came and the players faced each other. The crowd was tense. We either made a touchdown or lost the game on that play. They held us. Everybody on our side was greatly disappointed.
"Good game," I said repeatedly to the guys as they came off the field.
Jeremy Jones came up to me. He was our star running back, but for some reason he had never really appealed to me. "Hey Marina," he said. "Close game, too bad we lost." Our team was actually having a good season, but sometimes you can't win them all.
"Yes, it was a good game and you played well."
"Well, everyone will blame me for not breaking into the end zone."
"They know you did your best."
"How about having sympathy on a loser and going out to dinner with me?"
I tried to make an excuse, "Well, I have a lot of homework."
"It won't take long, come on, Marina. Babydoll."
I really didn't like being called babydoll and I didn't want to go any place with him, but popularity was very important to me. "Okay," I finally answered trying to seem enthusiatic.
"That a girl," he said and I could tell that he was very pleased with himself.
I waited for him to shower and change. I got into his Red Mustang convertible with him and we went to El Chico, a Mexican restaurant, for a meal. It was good and I enjoyed it in spite of his company. I was quite hungry.
"I ran over a hundred yards. Damn shame I couldn't get those last five."
"Yes it was, but you tried."
"You don't know how important it is for me to hear you say that."
"I really mean it," I said and I did, though my concern was more for the team than for him.
He paid the bill and then we got back into his car. I was surprised when he turned onto the access lane of the interstate. "What are you doing?"
"There's a nice quiet spot at the lake. I thought we'd go there for a while."
"But I have homework," I stated with growing concern.
"It's my turn, Marina."
"Your turn?"
"Yeah. You've fucked everyone on the team except me and it is my turn."
"Take me home!" I exclaimed with as much anger in my voice as I could muster apart from my fear.
"When we're finished."
He took the exit to the lake and drove toward it. "I am not going to have sex with you, Jeremy."
"Listen, Bitch! You're going to fuck me or I'll break your silly neck and dump you in the lake. Don't you doubt me for a moment."
I didn't doubt him and I knew he was powerful enough to snap my neck like a twig. I'd never been close to God, but I hoped He was listening as I prayed to be spared. I was afraid that Jeremy might kill me when he was done. As he pulled close to the water's edge the night seemed horribly dark and forbidding.
He stopped the car and said, "Don't make a sound."
"Jeremy, Don't do this," I pleaded.
He slapped me nearly senseless. I saw little stars swimming around me and I nearly blacked out. With forced control, he carefully removed my clothing. He kissed me on the mouth, but I didn't respond. "Kiss me, damn it!" he shouted.
He raped me and I responded as best I could.
"I've had better," he said when he was done.
I put my uniform back on.
"If you tell anyone about this, you're dead. Understand?"
I nodded.
"Say it!" he exclaimed.
"I understand," I replied mechanically. My face was puffy and numb.
He drove me back to the campus where I had parked my car and let me out. I was a little shaky on my feet but I managed to get to my car and then I drove to my apartment. The next day my face was still puffy and I called off the study session with Karen. I really had no choice. I turned in my assignment early on Monday and took a sick day hoping that my face would look much better on Tuesday. I did return to class on Tuesday.
Jeremy Jones did not return to school. In the Wednesday paper an article first appeared about the fact he was missing and apparently foul play was suspected. No clues. His car had been found on campus, but no one remember seeing him since the game. The police questioned me and I admitted going out with him and also going out to the lake. I explained that I hadn't seen him since he had let me out at my car. I mentioned nothing about the rape.
"Feeling better?" said Timothy on Thursday.
"Yes, much better. Thank you." I had a strange feeling and I asked him, "Did you hear about Jeremy Jones?"
"Of course, who hasn't? He won't bother you again."
"What do you mean!?" I asked with surprise.
"Oh, nothing."
"But you said that he wouldn't bother me again. What makes you think he was bothering me?"
"Just kind of guessed," said Timmy.
"If you know what happened to him, you should go to the police."
"I have nothing to say," he said.
I came right out and asked, "Do you know what happened to him?"
"Sorry, Marina," he said smiling. "I can't answer that."
I knew four things then: I'd never see Jeremy again which was a relief, Timmy would never tell me what had happened, Timmy loved me far more than any other man and to some degree that was both frightening and exciting, and last I could never go to the police about it. I smiled at Timmy taking his hand and asked, "Would you like to join me for lunch." His face just beamed with delight.
Author notes
Option 2 Cheerleader Marina
In a list
A contest entry
- Writing Exercises by Delfishie.
600 points, ended July 12, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Although I enjoyed this story a great deal, I don't really feel like I was sympathizing with Jeremy (I assume you picked option 2). This said, the charecters and the plot twisted so nicely, I couldn't help but overlook the lack of sympathy toward Jeremy. Very well written and good luck in the contest.
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Hmm.
I meant for you to sympathize with Timothy. He was the murderer. Oh well, Jeremy got more than he deserved, perhaps.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm glad you like the story
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Andy
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This was incredible. But most that i have read from you is. I loved the way you wrote it, right to the point and full of emotional environment. Very well done! I loved this!!
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Thanks Durian
I'm very pleased that you like this story. I had fun writing it. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I hope you had many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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ha ha my friend's name is Marina...she's M'Lady...very wonderful writing Daddy...I haven't been a good kitten...I have been lacking in the reading and writing department. But you know I love you.
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Thanks again Princess
I'm glad you like this story. Thanks for coming over to Storywrite and reading. I don't spend much time at allpoetry anymore. I wish you were at Storywrite more often. How are you doing?
You'll start writing more, I'm sure. What have you been doing with yourself?
Andy
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very good should make a series of this
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Hey, I liked the story but I agree with Jinxgirl to a point, you could have gone deeper in to Marina`s character along with the rape scene there could have ben more there as well.
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Thanks
I may expand this as it is less than 1,700 words. It wouldn't hurt to make it a little longer. Most people don't really like Marina's character. Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased you like this story.
Andy
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this is an interesting story, but i did not feel like you were showing me marina and her story so much as telling me. there was a lot of summarizing, but you did not seem to go deeply into her character so much as try to, in my opinion.
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm glad you found this story interesting. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Very suspenseful. It reminds me of Alfred Hitchcock in a way. The way you keep the reader on the edge, not knowing what will happen. I mean did Timmy have something to do with it or not? That is something that we will have to wait and find out. Great Job
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Thanks Michael
Thanks for reading and commenting, yet again! I really appreciate it. It is nice to be compared to Mr. Hitchcock. That is an honor of itself. I meant for the reader to accept that Timmy killed Jeremy. I also hoped that the reader would understand that Marina believed that Timmy had killed Jeremy for her. I'm glad that you like this story.
Andy
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Great storyline
Liked the storyline, think it worked well in first person. In my day we never really had girls like this, but then again we didn't have cheerleaders..
My only point is you use the names below, all the same letters, was this part of the contest? If not I think the names are far to alike, need to be a bit different, some could get confused by them.
Jeremy Jones
Johnny Jacobs
One last thing, you have her leave with Timmy (does his last name start with T...okay I'm joking...lol..)he killed Jeremy, does she know, and if so, why did she go with him?
Other than that I really liked the story.
Sarah.
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Thanks Sarah
Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. I'm glad you like this story. There could be confusion over the names and I may change them. I like to use alliteration in names because it helps people to remember them. That was an error. You think Timothy should be Timothy Thomas
? Marina is impressed with Timothy's feelings for her and both excited and some frightened or in awe of him. Until he killed Jeremy, he was just another one of her admirers, insignificant. She was impressed that he would kill for her.
Andy
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This was good, draws you in and makes you want a little more.
Does Marino know about timmy killign jeremy? It's bugging me coz she goes out with him, wouldnt you be even a little creeped?
Tnks for enterng and goodluck
~Lady Madeline.
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I really appreciate it. Marina knows that Timmy killed Jeremy, but it frightens, excites, and impresses her. What she likes most is that he cares that much for her. Anyway, that is how I saw it.
Andy
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"I had worked hard for my popularity. Hours of practice everyday after school." - Is she practicing being popular, or practicing being a cheerleader? I realize the two often come hand-in-hand, but you should come right out and say that she's a cheerleader here. I didn't fully comprehend that she was a cheerleader until later on in the story.
' "Tell me honestly, do you come to watch the game or to watch me," I asked him pointedly putting him on the spot. ' - put a question mark, not a comma, at the end of her dialogue.
"He managed a smile regaining his composure." - Put a comma after "smile"
' "Listen, Bitch! You're going to fuck me or I'll break your silly neck and dump you in the lake. Don't you doubt me for a moment." ' - Oh geeze...
Also, in the last paragraph you started calling Timmy "Jimmy"....
Anyway, overall this was an interesting story and, as you intended, all too realistic (both in plot and in Marina's personality...unfortunately ). But...am I right to assume that Timmy killed Jeremy? If so, creepy. And it's even creepier if Marina realized that and still went out with Timmy...So is that what happened? I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I'm not sure if Marina realizes this...You may want to make that part more clear.
Thank you for entering my contest! -
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting and finding the mistakes. It is amazing that no one else mentioned Jimmy replaced Timmy at the last paragraph. Funny how I can read past my mistakes like that. I've read this story at least five times.
You didn't like this part of the dialogue: ' "Listen, Bitch! You're going to fuck me or I'll break your silly neck and dump you in the lake. Don't you doubt me for a moment." ' - Oh geeze... What would you suggest?
I intended to leave the ending a little vague. I didn't want to come right out and say that Timmy did it, but I think it is clear that he did and that Marina knew it, or at least, suspected it.
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Oh, no, I wasn't criticizing that dialogue, just commenting on it...
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This is an interesting topic, and one that happens more frequently than society cares to admit.
The story flowed nicely and I'm sure that we've all encountered a "Marina" at some point during our stay on this planet.
But, I was left wanting a little more than what was given. I felt as if I had the opportunity to open a very promising box of goodies only to be left with being unable to delve into it.
Rape is a horrible, violating crime. It takes so much away from a woman that it scars them for life. The main character doesn't seem to respond emotionally nor mentally of an sexual assault victim. I wanted more depth to the character even if she was a shallow individual. -
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Thanks Polarfox
Trying to score with girls is often a jock thing. I decided to turn it around with Marina scoring with the jocks. I will think on the rape scene. I feel like Marina was sort of calloused, but I could make it more traumatic for her, make her recovery more emotional. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Andy
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I was home schooled, so...since I never met anyone like Marina...I guess I can call myself lucky. I liked how well I could imagine the characters, and the dialogue was really believable. Good work and congratulations on the green trophy.
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Thanks
Actually, I really had a good time writing this story and I felt that it turned out well. A green trophy from Delfishie is pretty good. She is a tough judge and an excellent writer. I am very pleased that you liked the dialogue. Thanks very much for reading and commenting.
Andy
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This is another great story from you. I've been around girls like Marina and I hate them and I guess that almost every school has a few of them. Good job with this and keep up the good work.
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Thanks
I don't think anybody likes Marina! I wasn't really trying to make her so unlikable. I was just trying to make her realistic. I'm very pleased that you felt this was a great story. Thanks for reading and commenting. I greatly appreciate it.
Andy -
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I don't know why but she did seem realistic.
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< Thanks Mr. Kane
Thanks for reading, commenting and all the applause. I greatly appreciate it. I'm very pleased that you like this story. A little tame compared to most of your stories which I have read. How's everything doing with you?
Andy -
Wow!! I really do hate girls like her, but every schools got to have at least one or two. Everytime I read one of yours it never takes long and I always want to read more. And this one was another great write. Good luck with the contest.
Brooke
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Thank you Brooke
Thanks for reading me again and for commenting and applauding. I appreciate it greatly. Most of my stories are around 2,000 words or less. I only have a couple of stories or chapters that pass 3,000. I am trying to learn to expand my stories more. I'm trying to improve in lots of ways. I'm glad you like my stories and that they leave you with a taste for more. So you didn't like the protagonist in this one?
Andy
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wow
This was really good. I loved Marina's character (although if I met her in real life, I would hate her with the fire of a thousand suns. Ugh. I suffered enough girls like that in high school, thank you very much). And the story was really great. I didn't realize that you were foreshadowing Timmy's almost stalker-ish protection of Marina until the very end, so excellent job at the subtlety.
Hmmmm....the only criticism I have is that, because I hated who Marina was so much, I had very little empathy for her the entire story. ....This is not to say that her characterization wasn't fantastic, mind you. Perhaps if you gave her at least one small redeeming quality? Then the reader would get drawn into the story more.
This is very nicely done. Good job. -
wow
This was really good. I loved Marina's character (although if I met her in real life, I would hate her with the fire of a thousand suns. Ugh. I suffered enough girls like that in high school, thank you very much). And the story was really great. I didn't realize that you were foreshadowing Timmy's almost stalker-ish protection of Marina until the very end, so excellent job at the subtlety.
Hmmmm....the only criticism I have is that, because I hated who Marina was so much, I had very little empathy for her the entire story. ....This is not to say that her characterization wasn't fantastic, mind you. Perhaps if you gave her at least one small redeeming quality? Then the reader would get drawn into the story more.
This is very nicely done. Good job. -
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Thanks Delfishie
You are a hard one to impress because you write so well. The only thing redeeming about Marina's character was that she intended to reward her savior. Whether she would give herself over to him or not is left to the reader to guess. Jimmy, more of a worshipper than a stalker I think, but he did keep a watchful eye on her. I try to make my characters a bit different. I hope this was a good one for your cheerlearder prompt.
Andy
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