I'm A Survivor1
I'm a victim of emotional, verbal, physical, and sexual abuse. It all began when I started having dreams that my "dad" would have sex with me. My sub-conscience always told me that he would put something in my drink to knock me out. I can remember that on some nights he would come into my room, wake me up and tell me to take a drink of whatever he had made me. It was weird. I never told anyone that I had these dreams, it remained a secret for many years.2
The emotional, verbal, physical, and sexual abuse began all at the same time. Well actually, it started when my "dad" would call me stupid and retarded. Usually while I was being called names, he would pull me by the ear or rip the hair out of my head. I never knew what I did to deserve this kind of treatment.3
He would beat me with wooden spoons, his fists, hands, and he would beat me with a long black belt that had a metal eagle emblem on it. I have a scar on my butt from where he would hit me with it. Most of the time, he beat me out in his shed and in his bedroom. I can remember every beating like yesterday.4
I was never allowed outside until I was fifteen years old, and even when I was fifteen, I was only allowed to stand at the front door. I wasn't allowed to leave the door step. I was also never allowed to talk on the phone, to guys or girls. He made one exception, and that was with my best friend Kelly.5
When we moved to Florida, she moved to Texas. My "dad's" rule was that when she called, I had a time limit of only ten minutes. I wanted to do after school activities, but I always heard "We don't have the money for that." I always knew that the reason I was restricted from all of these things was because he didn't want me telling anyone how I was being treated.6
The sexual part started when I was eight years old. He always wanted me to sit on his lap, he would ask for a kiss, and I would kiss him on the cheek. After I kissed him on the cheek, he would always say "That's cheap!", meaning he would expect a kiss on the lips. Being eight years old, and not knowing better, I did it. This went on for years.7
My mom worked at a nursing home over night. She worked the graveyard shift, 12 P.M. to 7 A.M. When my mom would leave for work, I would be sleeping of course, and my "dad" would come in my room and wake me up to go sleep in his bed with him. He would always have me back in my bed before my mother got home.8
Sixth grade was a very horrifying year for me. I went to Lagrange Middle School in New York. My "father" started to get angrier and angrier, why?, I had no idea. It let him to taking his anger out on me and hitting and beating me harder. One night my "dad" beat me so hard that I went to school the next day with scratches on my face, and my left cheek was bruised. When my teachers asked what had happened, I lied and told them that I had gotten hit with a basketball. I thought everyone had believed me until I went to my third period science class with Mr. Garan, my name was called, and I was given a pink pass to go to the nurses office. I had a gut feeling that someone knew what I had been through the night before, and I was going to be questioned about it.9
As I walked into the nurse's office, I showed the nurse my pass and she pointed me to a room, where I saw three women sitting. One with some computer, another with a Manila folder stacked with papers, and another one sitting there with her arms crossed. All three women introduced themselves as a Social Worker, Detective, and Trainee. They sat me down at a rectangular shaped table. I sat down and knew exactly what they were there for. They asked me questions about what was going on at home. I was honest with them and told them the truth. We all went through about a two hour conversation, along with a lot of paperwork. By the end of the day, I was petrified to go home. Social workers were going to be at my house waiting for me to make sure that when I got home, my dad would not beat me for telling, but my question was, what was he going to do after she left? My dad was fuming when I got home, after she left, I still got hit. He went through my backpack, dumped everything out of it, and threw everything away. He no longer trusted me not to tell, therefore I was not allowed to have anything, including my backpack. I hibernated in my room for what seemed like years. Months after the incident, Social Workers came to our house weekly, and investigated. My dad was found "not guilty", but still had a misdemeanor put on his record for child abuse.10
My parents had gotten a divorce, and I was left taking care of my little brother when he was seven years old, and left living under my "dads" roof. He made me sleep in his bed at night with him, still, even at the age of fifteen. When he went to work, I would have to clean the house spotless, and I do mean spotless. When he got home from work, I had to have a hot dinner on the table and his clothes picked out for his shower neatly folded on the bottom of his bed. He treated me like a housewife. I was still being sexually abused at the time, seven years later. So I eventually built up the courage to leave, and put myself first before him. I went to my mother's and her boyfriend at the time's house. I lived with them for 2 1/2 years until I moved out on my own with my Fiancee.11
After years of post-poned court dates, my "dad" was found guilty on 2 counts of Child Molestation. He received thirty days in prison, and three years probation. It's sick how people can do so much to ruin someones life, and then get the most minimum punishment offered. I have not seen my "dad" or talked to my "dad" in over three years and I'm proud of that.12
On a side note to the reader :13
My parents were foster parents, although Me and my brother Barry were their biological children. It is sick, and sad that people like my father can have children trustfully brought into his home, get paid to be their guardian, and do so many horrible things to them without anyone ever knowing. He molested two other girls besides me, one was a foster child of his, Robin, and the other was my best friend at the time, Annmarie. Sick people like my father get away with these crimes everyday, if you or someone you know are having these problems at home, please tell someone and do not be afraid. You need to stand up for yourself, and realize that in the long run, you are saving your own life...14
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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is it wrong for me to get the rocky theme stuck in my head by this story, although it was good, i had that song stuck in my head through-out it, well done
-david- -
I must admit this story was even better the second time through! I am glad you found the contest, and I am sorry for the obstacles that you have had in your life. Hopefully they have made you a stronger and better person. Thanks you for entering
Love,
Katy
~LiquidLullaby~ -
wow i loved this story it was really great. im sorry this happened to you im midnight life's friend by the way and this was a great story your words had alot of emotion in it. great job keep it up good luck in the contest u deserve to win!!!
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very sad
i am so sorry i dont know what to say
no one should have to go through with that NO ONE if you ever need someone to talk to i'm here for you - Mary
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adding to my earlier comment i was abused in a foster home for two years and it is stupid that some one who is trusted by the state can still be that way.
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Wow thats really sad. Im sorry all of that happened to you and thankyou so much for entering my contest. God bless
Kristin -
Wow... thats terrible... i'm so sorry that happened to you... wow...
please read my story, The Good Times- Chapter II
-Aubrey -
his is a very disturbing and distressing write. I'm truly sorry that this happened to you. It semed so unreal when i first began reading this. I thought that the quoatations around dad were a bit too much. I think you could have used more adjectives and been less repetitive in your bword usage. You also had one or two subject-verb agreement errors. I am truly sorry that this happended to you. What is your life like now? In what ways do you suffer from it?
All my best
Arielle Giselle
The One and (L)Only -
this is really really sad!!! i'm so sorry that this happened to you! i wish that things like this would never ever happen to people. people in the world can be so cruel! they don't care about what they are doing to people and it bothers me! i can't believe they do this. anyway, this was well written and good luck in teh contest!
~Addie~ -
0.0 wow.... I like.... very very strong... I remember one of my friend's sister had that happen to her, but it was her grandfather instead... 0.0 Very strongly written and I LOVE it XD Keep up the good work ^^
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thats really sad .. and i know parts of the story well .. thanks for entering and i wish you the best of luck in the contest .. keep the ink flowing
~Aimee
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Very sad and realistic story. Thank you very much for entering, your piece was very moving.
Love,
Katy
~*LiquidLullaby*~ -
Tears now fill my eyes and memories of my childhood begin to flood in... my childhood was much like yours... yes there were "some" differences but not many... my mom is on husband number 8. I left after husband number 4 or was it 5?
I hope that now your life is in a better place you do have friends that understand completely... even if we do not know one another very well...
S~
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God damn! Sorry about the cussing. You know some how this sounds like a great idea for a lifetime story. Exspecaliy the ending. When you give out the advice. But the sad part is that if they are being abused they still wont tell. They think like you did when you were thinking your "dad" was going to hit you after word. So yeah they wont tell. Other will take the advice gladly and wont have to worry about the after effects.
This is a great story. Yes, we are truly survivors!
~Angel -
this is a really powerful story, my heart goes out to you, and i wish you the best of luck in your future. i find it hard to believe how often it happens and how many victims there actually are. i had a step-father who liked to treat me that way as well, i was six when it began and when i was sixteen, i too had the social workers come to my school.. i was so embarrassed that everyone i knew was going to know that this had been happening to me, and i thought they would think i was dirty. little did i know that would be the least of my worries, as i told my mother she refused to believe me and kicked me out, called me a liar, professed her hate for me, and somehow that was worse than anything he had ever put me through.. not having my mom there backing me up really messed with my head and heart, i guess it messed me up pretty bad, well it's been eleven years since i last saw him, but i did reconcile with my mother, well she came to me and apologized for her lack of "mom support" which is exactly what i needed. your story is so sick and it's a wonder that anyone could ever survive out of that situation, but i admire your strength to live, and your courage to write about it. thank you
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Wow.... that's about all I can say. I'm speechless. This hurts me so bad because sometimes I feel like things couldn't get any worse for me and I'm too selfish to realize that there are people out there that have it worse than I do.
I had something like this happen to me, from the time I was seven until the time I was twelve my mom sold my sisters and I to old men so that they'd give her money for drugs. My mom would come into my sister's and my room and get one of us and then lead us into her bedroom where she'd leave us in there for what seemed like forever and then she'd knock and tell them that time was up. At the age of thirteen I started doing drugs and drinking to get my mind off of what my mom had put me through and she said that it was wrong to drink and do drugs so she sent me to live with my dad.
Two years ago, I get a phone call saying that my mother has been arrested and she's looking at anywhere from 25 years to life in prison because she started a meth lab and was selling my little half sister like she'd done to my sister and me. The charges against here were assulting a police officer, child endangerment, possession of a CDS, possession of a CDS within 1000 yards of a school, reckless endangerment, child abuse, spousal abuse, and the list goes on and on. Well I'd signed up and I was gonna testify and put my mom away for 25 to life, but my grandma on my mother's side paid for a really really good lawyer and she just got 5 years probation and lost custody of my little sister, which she got again when my grandmother died a few months later.
I'm sorry that this happened to you and I know that you're probably sick of people saying they're sorry, I'm just so damn proud of you because of how well you seem to be handling it. I respect you for being brave and standing up for yourself. May God be with you and bless you.
-Miranda
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You certainly have a lot of strength and courage to tell this story. I hope you win in the contest!
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This is sad, it brought tears to my eyes because even tho the degree of my abuse as nothing like this...abuse is abuse..my father was very VERY verbally abusive...it hurts me to know that he got no more of a punishment then that since you got punished for nothing...i am happy however to hear he's locked away and out of reach of any other children...i think some social workers go overboard..but not this time..they didn't do enough...i hope everything is lookin up now..it sounds much better from what i've heard...keep it up!!
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wow, this story was very different, very sad, but I was really happy in the end for you, you did a great job with this story, it didnt really go into it that much, it seemed to outline the basics, but even still the story had me trapped. I was hooked. Excellent job, and thank you for sharing.
Irilis -
that was a really good story it is sick and disgusting how sick bastards like them and do that and still sometimes be not guilty in court my friends went through the same thing til he finally got voted guilty.
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Incredible
Oh god i hate him so much for what he did to you i would like*scribble* LOVE to fucking hurt him. My stepfather molested me, just like yours-he is a total fucking arsewank-okay now the blah di blah i can relate shiz is out the way, I am AMAZED, truly amazed by this peice. You show so much courage in this story-im overwhelmed. Its really powerful, and brought tears..i dont mean just weling in my eyes...actual tears streaming down my face making my mascara run and now i look like a panda...so much emotion fuelled by such a brilliant write. Ok more rambling, i am *so* PISSED OFF that he got such a lame punishment, wtf
its fucking sick how they can ruin your whole life and get away with such a minor sentance, they should rot.Yeah, if you ever wanna talk IM me or whatever-im always here mhmm, this was a sad, sad story 
incredible though, love anna x -
um very very very very sad story but it was good. it must have been hard to write this..thankyou for sharing. i have had somewhat of past experiences but in different respects. you're not alone in this if you would ever like someone to talk to i am here just IM me this was a great write and it was thoroughly told. thanx again for sharing. your courage is greatly appreciated and acknowleged. ~much love and wonderful wishes.
-mindy-
Edited on Jul 26, 10:22 because ''. -
this story made me feel stupid about the one i wrote. i always feel like my life has been hell and then things like these remind me how lucky i am. i'm glad you had the courage to leave and i hope you have a wondeful life with your fianceé. best wishes
alyssa -
heartfelt and honest
This brought tears to my eyes for many reasons. You are right, this should never happen to any child. The system which is supposed to be there for the children is anything but. This is a true sickness that people like your father and mine have. Nothing including jail time, fines, probabation or becoming an outcast of society will ever change who they are. The important thing is that you become the person you want to be and learn to deal with the past. I don't believe there is a way to truly "put it behind you" as it is a part of you. From your writing you can tell the memories and deel emotional and physical scars are as fresh as yesterday's rain. I wish you the best in your life. You mention a fiancee and I do hope things go well for you in your life and you are able to move forward. I commend you on your courage to leave the situation and rise above it. Thank you for your courage to share this with everyone for in doing so, you help those who don't have the courage to do the same.
All my best to you
Victoria Lin -
Wow, incredible write. Very sad, and very real. I have a few suggestions:
you say "more angrier and angrier..." You don't need the wrods 'more' there, it's self explanatory when you say angrier and angrier.
"All three women introduced themselves as Social Worker, Detective, and Trainee."
Techinically, here, youa re saying that all three women said they had all three jobs. I know what you meant, but grammatically it doesn't work out. For it to work, just add "respectively" at the the end of your sentence, or say something like:
"They introduced themselves as...etc.etc."
What a powerful piece you have here...it's truly horrifying, but the ending is a hopeful one. You must have had incredible courage to gothrough this, and then to write about it. I wish you the best of luck in everything.
-morgana
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Wow! This was a sad story. My eyes teared because I once had an older man, my "neighbour", run his hands along my legs when I worked at a convenience store about three years back. I told my best friend, whose mother is a social worker, and nothing happened. But he's done it before to other girls. More than twice. And nothing happened then, either. He still stares at me, when he's outside as I'm leaving the house, and up until I told my best friend about it, I felt like it was my fault. Like I was the one to blame. But nobody this has happened to deserves to feel that way. (sighs to self) Now, I know that he's just a sick fuck who, I feel, deserves to die. I guess this was just a comment to let you know that you're not alone with this, etc. etc. I'm glad you had the courage to write about this, it was a great, but sad, story.
*Insanity.#08 -
Oh this story about your "dad" makes me so mad. I want to hurt him. I hope he rots in jail. I can't understand how a man could do something like this to a little/young girl and on top of that a father to his owe daughter. It makes me sick to my stomach. And just keep in mind that you didn't do anything to deserve this. Nothing that any child could do would be bad enough to have this happen to them. If you ever need to talk I'll listen. Love ya! Tonya
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it makes me so mad that your dad didn't get punished enough. i can't believe the social workers didn't do anything after they checked on you, that they didn't find him guilty. oh well, you're gone. well written.
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