Untitled (for now anyway) - Chapter One

“Mom, why can’t you just shut the hell up!” I screamed these words so loud they echoed in my brain for a whole 30 seconds after they had left my mouth. Total and complete silence came after as well and the building rage in my mother’s face scared the heck out of me. I thought her eyes where going to literally burst out of their sockets.

I didn’t feel sorry in the least bit though. We had been arguing now for quite some time and I have just been standing here, listening to my mother scream and yell at me. I swear that woman can talk, lecture and preach till her voice box comes flying out of her mouth and still I’ll bet she’d find some way to get her point across. I just couldn’t stand it any longer. I had to say something back for once.

“Oh my God,” She managed to utter finally in stunned disbelief at my treatment of her. She stared at me with this look of discust and bewilderment plastered on her face. I stared back at her, mostly because i didn't know what else to do, but tried my hardest to not really see her, or that aweful look she was giving me. “I don’t even want to see you right now. Go! Get out of my sight!” She screamed that last bit, waving her arms as if shooing me away, and I immediately turned around literally running upstairs to the comfort and privacy of my own room. I slammed the my door which was already too worn out from being slammed and flung myself on my bed that already had broken springs because of all the times I had flung myself on it. I then buried my face as deep into my pillow as possible and proceeded to bawl my eyes out.

I really hate arguing with my mother. It’s the farthest thing from productive and it doesn’t get either of us anywhere. Well, maybe nowhere except hurt. But we still do it anyway. I don’t think that we can avoid it no matter how hard we try. We’re simply too different of people.

Mom is the kind of person who always says how she feels. Always. She never misses a detail about what’s going on inside her. I, on the other hand, am almost the exact opposite of that. A lot of times, I feel stupid and akward saying what I'm feeling inside. I don’t exactly know why, but I just do. Mother says it’s because of my pride, but that’s her opinion. I simply feel more comfortable writing what I feel rather than saying it outloud to someone. It’s almost like my lips are barriers for my words and my pen are their exit. And that bothers the crap out of mom. She’d rather I just sputter out whatever I feel like she does. She just doesn’t understand.

So to sum it up, Mom and I, we just clash.

I swear I hadn’t been alone in my room longer than ten seconds before I heard the heavy familiar footsteps traveling up the stairs.

“You got to be kidding me!” I mumbled miserably and clenched a hunk of the soft, worn covers that were bunched up at the foot of my bed and threw them over my head. No sooner had I covered my pathetic, sobbing face when my Dad entered the room. I listened to his footsteps as they came closer to my bedside and I heard him sigh as he looked down at the weeping heap of covers that was me.

“Come on Tory,” I felt the strong hand of my father tug on my shelter of butterfly blankets. They disappeared instantly, leaving me bare and visible. I let out a scream full of anger, fustraition, and annoyance as I buried my face deeper into my pillow. Tears were still progressing down my cheeks and landing on my pillow. The butterfly-covered fabric quickly absorbed them, making it wet and soggy. “What the heck were you thinking? You were way out of line this time. Your Mother doesn’t deserve being treated like that.”

My dad’s words yanked on my irritation chain. I sat up, looking at the tall, broad figure that was my father. I tried to wipe away the tears, but fresh ones kept appearing making my world distorted and blurry. My dad's soft face litterally swam in my vision. I couldn't even make out the laugh lines that surounded his bright, silver eyes. He didn’t get it either. I took soo much crap from her and always tried to stay silent and keep my retorts inside.

“But Daddy,” I said desperately, hiccupping from all the crying i was doing, “I just couldn’t take it anymore. She kept yelling and preaching and going on and on. She never stops and I barley say anything. Ever! I just had to say something this time.” Thinking back, I couldn’t even remember what had started the big cat fight anyway. The arguing had started out little enough, nothing more than simple bickering, but the thing soon grew and mom totally lashed out and dominated me. Her bitching just seemed endless and i had tried my best to zone her out. There’s only so much that I can take! Tonight it had just over flowed and I had to let something out. As fate would have it, it just happened to be the exact wrong thing, of course, that slipped out.

“I think you should go apologize to your mother,” Dad said seriously.

“Now?” I moaned in complaint. I wasn’t even ready to look at mom yet, let alone talk and apologize. Just because I screwed up doesn’t mean I’m not still pissed at her. She’s the one who made me blow-up in the first place.

“Yes, now.” Dad folded his arms across his chest. “And I’m going to stay here and bother you in your room until you do,” I could tell by the way he set his jaw that he would stand there all night if he had to. I sighed and dragged myself up off my bed and into a standing position. My tears had seemed to stop for the moment and I tried to swipe the evidence off my face that showed they had ever been shed.

“There we go. That wasn’t so hard was it?” Daddy changed his voice into a somewhat humorous tone. He grinned and flashed me with his perfectly white teeth. I couldn't help but smirk a little too, remebering mom saying she had always married him for his smile and his perfect ass.

“I don’t want to apologize to her,” I grumbled, swaping the sudden little smirk and exchanging it for a defiant stare.

“Awe, C’mon honey, we were making such good progress. Besides,” He walked over and plopped down upon my butterfly chair sitting in the corner of the room, “I’ll stay in here until you do.” Dad gave me one of his and-you-know-I-really-will-do-it looks. I just purely hate it when my parents invade my personal privacy.

“Fine, go right ahead and see if I care!” I snottily snapped back at him. He cocked his head to one side and studied me disapprovingly. He always did this when I talk back to him, but I’m not really sure why.

“Not enough of a threat to you, huh? Well what happens if I threaten to take away your cell phone?” He raised one eyebrow, looking very smug with himself. My eyes widened with horror and glanced toward the pink cell phone resting on my desk. Now dad was getting just plain mean! The phone was my most prized position, my baby! O course that meant it was also a constant black mail devise for my parents. That was usually up my mom’s ally though and it was sadly surprising to hear my Dad threaten me with that. He’s usually not good with punishments, or threats of punishments.

“Fine!” I threw my hands up in exasperated surrender. I marched downstairs to where mom sat waiting on the couch. And, like a good little girl, I gave a complete and unmeaningful apology.

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“Hey, Tor, you awake?” With much difficulty I opened my eyes heavy with sleep. Jessie, my older bother, was standing by my bedside. He was in his boxers and a slightly dirty white beater. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. Glowing red digital numbers told me it was ‘1:30 A.M.’.

“Jessie,” I said groggily, “What the hell do you want?”

“Hey, don’t use that language with me young lady,” Jessie said sarcastically, squatting down to meet me at eye level. “I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, a little sleepy, but fine. Why shouldn’t I be?” He frowned and looked at me the way he always did when the subject of mom and I fighting came up.

“I heard you and mom hollering at each other again.” For a seventeen-year-old he sounded kind of childish and scared, which in turn made me scared.

“But it’s ok now,” I explained, “I apologized to her.”

“But why do you even do such stupid things as start fights with mom in the first place?” I found myself being taken aback by this. Maybe the fight tonight, or how it ended at least, was my fault, but not all of them are. “You have to learn how to get along with mom. I know you love her. She’s not the bad person you think she is.”

“I don’t know how dad can put up with her,” I said trying to direct the conversation toward something other than how I felt about mom.

“Hey! Don’t say stuff like that. Dad loves mom so much and she loves him back. You know that!”

I knew Jessie was right, he knew dad better than anyone. Jessie and dad have always been really close. They were your typical father-and-son duo. They were more like best friends rather than father and son.

“Still,” I said, “If I were dad I would have left her long ago.” As soon as these words left my lips I saw Jessie’s face turn hard has stone and his eyes narrowed. I remember him giving me that look only once in all my thirteen years of life. It was when I was seven and I had told him I was going to run away from home because I hated mommy. His face had scared me then and even now I felt the chills run up and down my spine.

“Never, ever say such a horrible thing like that ever again Tory Cooper, you understand me?” Jessie’s voice was just as hard as his stare. I knew I hadn’t meant what I had said and now I felt ashamed for saying it, especially to Jessie.

“I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean it.” Jessie’s face softened a little. I was relieved.

“Yeah, well, think of what life would be like without dad around.”

I cringed at the thought of that. Dad was the one who kept the house running most of the time. He’s the one who brought home the pay check and did all the hard work around the house. And with four kids running around there’s no way mom could run the household by herself anyway. Even Jessie could admit to that.

“It would be total chaos,” I said.

“Yep,” Jessie replied. He stood up and kissed me gently on the forehead. “Get some sleep now alright Tor?”

“Good night Jess,” I said drowsily, laying back down, and closing my eyes.

“Night Tor.” I heard Jessie’s voice say as he was leaving my room.