Painful Travels

Daniel Kingman drove down the road, the radio playing My Chemical Romance. He would have changed it if it hadn’t been for his sister sitting in the passenger seat next him. She loved the band and couldn’t get enough of them. If it were any other time he might argue her to change the music, but it wasn’t.

Leslie sat in the seat next to her older brother. Her favorite band was playing and she was glad. The music let her take her mind slightly off things for a short time. If there was anything she needed it was to get her mind off of things.

“You hungry?” Daniel asked, breaking the silence. He took a quick glance at her and then quickly returned his attention to the road; they didn’t need to have any accidents.

“Sure.” She said looking at him. His face was tense, as if he was holding something in.

“I’ll stop up here at the next exit. The food sign back there said there’s a diner up here. We can get a burger or something.” He said as he turned on his turning signal to get into the lane that led to the exit.

“OK.” Was her only response as she went back to looking out the open window. Daniel didn’t have air condition in his car so when it was warm out he always had the window open. Leslie liked the feel of the wind on her face, blowing the loose strands of her reddish brown hair about.

Daniel took another quick glance at her as he pulled onto the exit ramp. She had been through so much, him too, but he felt she had gone through more. She was a senior in high school, it was supposed to be the best year of her school career, before college that is. It had been pretty good, until their mom got into a car accident. She had been alone when they told her in the school office; he had been another state away, in his English class. She wouldn’t speak to anyone but him after that and even that wasn’t a lot. Their mom had been Leslie’s best friend at times, Leslie would tell her just about everything.

“We’re here.” Daniel said, stating the obvious as he pulled into the diner’s parking lot. It wasn’t much to look at really, just a family diner. In Daniel’s opinion it looked like it had been there since the seventies.

They both got out of the car in silence after he had parked the car. When he took a glance back at his car as they walked in he had to let a small smile and chuckle through as his mind went to his previous thoughts about the diner. His car wasn’t much younger, slightly older even. A blue ’68 Camaro, it’d been their dad’s. Daniel had been able to fix the engine up some and he’d done one or two paint jobs on it, but other than that it was basically how it was when their dad had bought it, his first car.

“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?” he heard Leslie ask, breaking him out of thought. It was then that he realized that they were sitting at a table.

“Nothing, just the car, dad, stuff.” He told her.

“I remember you guys working on it into the late hours of the night. It was crazy.” She said, a slight smile showing.

“Yeah, but some of the greatest times too. I think he knew then what was happening just wasn’t ready to tell us.” Daniel said looking at a spot on the table. Their dad had died of a heart murmur that he’d actually had since birth. When it was first found there was nothing that could be done so he went through life with it, it was small though and the actual technical abbreviation of it was PDA, Patent Ductus Arteriosus. Daniel had known about it since he was twelve. It had never been a big deal in their family, they still did normal everyday things, but by the time he was sixteen and Leslie was twelve herself the doctor’s found that the murmur was getting larger. Their dad never told any of them, except for their mom. It wasn’t until after he died that they knew it had grown.

Both were lost in their thoughts and memories when a young waitress with strawberry blond hair and brown eyes came over to them, taking out her pad as she did so.

“Hi, I’m Courtney and I’ll be your server today. Can I start you off with something to drink?” she asked, extremely perky.

“I’ll take a Coke.” Leslie told her.

“And what about you?” she asked, turning to Daniel. She was smiling and if you looked closely, possibly batting her eyes. Leslie actually found it quite funny and had to hide her laughter with a fake cough, but it didn’t go past her brother and she received a glare that would’ve had her dead and buried if looks could kill.

“Um, I’ll just have a water.” He said giving her a polite smile. The huge smile she had seemed to droop slightly, but not completely.

“I’m gonna get you.” He threatened once Courtney had left.

“I’m really scared.” She said in mock fear.

“You, grr.” Was all he could think of.

“Hey, if you saw it from my end you’d find it funny. The waitress flirting with my dorkish, brown hair, green eyed older brother. Quite funny.” She said, not suppressing her laughter anymore. Daniel didn’t say anything, mainly because it was really good to see her let loose.

About an hour later after they’d both finished their burgers and Daniel paid the check they were out of the diner and back into the car. Before they pulled out though he went to change the station because there were a bunch of commercials playing at that moment. He continued to search until he heard a song he liked very much, “Just Push Play” by Aerosmith.

“How much longer?” Leslie asked once the song was over and the radio announcer started talking about some sort of concert tickets you could win.

“A few more hours. Once we get out of Ohio, which is about an hour’s drive from here, we should be in York, in two hours, give or take.” Daniel told her. The plan was he was taking her back to his apartment where she’d live for the rest of the school year and according to him as long as she liked.

“Ok.” Was her only response as she pulled out her CD player and popped in a The Used CD. He didn’t mind, this would give him a chance to listen to his own music and clear his head.

When he got back he’d have a lot of catching up to do, such as probably taking a couple of tests, getting the notes from the classes he missed, and hoping that he still had his job at the town’s garage. He’d been gone a little longer than expected. When he first went home for the funeral and everything he’d expected to be there for no longer than a week, but then stuff had come up, such as going through their mom’s things, letting Leslie’s school know she was moving and that they needed to get her record’s transferred, and then there was the matter of their grandparents. They wanted Leslie to stay with them, but she didn’t talk to them at all and Daniel felt that it would be better if she stayed with family whom she felt comfortable with and there was also the part of him that he hadn’t told their grandparents, but it was the fact that she was his job and he would be able to seriously watch over and protect her if she was with him.

As he continued to think about the plans of the past month, with the music playing in the background, he heard the tune of AC/DC’s “Back in Black” in the back of his mind. After shaking his head of the thoughts of catching up, hard grandparents, and everything else and after turning the radio down a bit he realized it was his phone ringing. Keeping an eye on the road as he felt into the middle of the consol. His hand caught it almost right away and he was able to grab it without looking away from the road, something he was very grateful for.

“Hello?” he said into the phone after opening it.

“Dan the man. How’s it goin’?” a male voice said into the other end. A smile came to Daniel’s face as he realized whom it was.

“Jude the brood. Pretty good. About three hours, give or take away from the place. Again I thank you for letting her stay with us, it’s gonna make things so much easier.” He said with complete sincerity.

“Hey, no problem man. She the little sister of my best friend and all that you’ve done for me since we’ve been here, it’s the least I can do.” Jude said and Daniel knew he was being true.

“How are things with Mandy by the way?” Daniel questioned. Before he came home to Cleveland he’d been helping Jude with this problem. It seemed that Mandy had heard that Jude was cheating on her and that every Wednesday when he was supposed to be in church he was actually with another girl. None of it was true though. Jude loved her and Daniel always got the bulk of hearing about his love for Mandy so the very thought that Jude was actually cheating on her was just plain absurd and about Wednesday night church the fact was, and he’d told her this, he had started going to Daniel’s church.

“Hmm, not too good. I think it’s really over, Daniel. She says one of her best friends told her and that the story’s stickin’.” Jude told him and Daniel could hear the sadness in his voice over the phone.

“I’m sorry, man.” Daniel told him and he meant it.

“It’s ok, I’ll live. So how’s the little sis doin’?” Jude asked, changing topics.

“Good and bad. Still isn’t talking a lot but it’s understandable. I think it’s going to be good to get her into some new scenery, less things to shoot painful thoughts into her.” Daniel said as he took his eyes quickly off the darkening sky and took a glance at her. Her headphones were still on, but he could tell that she had dozed off.

“If she wants I could set her up with my little brother, you know so that she has someone to hang out with.” Jude suggested. His brother was a senior just like Leslie and sort of a loner. Daniel had met him a couple times and each time liked the kid. He didn’t really get disrespectful, unless he was ticked. From what he heard from Jude, Alex was pretty quiet most of the time, but he had his moments when he sort of let completely loose. He was the kind of person that Daniel could imagine Leslie hanging out with and that Daniel wouldn’t mind her hanging out with.

“That would be great. Well, I gotta get goin’. Talk to you later.” Daniel said. He didn’t want to be on the phone in the dark.

“Ok. See you when you get here. Bye.” And with that both hung up. Daniel continued to drive. It was about nine o’clock now and he didn’t want to be out too late. He had about two and a half hours until he reached the off campus apartment., half-n-hour until he reached the Ohio/Pennsylvania border. He was still wide-awake and if he needed to he had Mountain Dew in the back that he could drink.

By the time he reached the border all you could see in the sky were the stars sparkling. It was nine thirty-five; he had two hours until he got to York. He wanted to keep going and not stop until he got there, but when he looked down at his gas he realized he was running fairly low. According to the road sign that told you what was coming up on the next exit he didn’t have long to go until he could get gas. About a mile or so more and he was driving into a BP station.

“We there yet?” Leslie asked groggily from her seat as she sat up and took off her headphones.

“No, just needed to get some gas. You mine as well use the restroom while we’re here.” Daniel said, nodding his head in the direction of the building.

“Sure.” Leslie replied as she took off her seat belt and opened the door. Daniel got out at the same time she did and watched as she walked over before swiping his card into the pump; he wanted to make sure she was safe. She wasn’t gone long, but when she did come back Daniel could see her quickly wiping something away from both sides of her face and he knew she had been crying. After he pulled the nozzle out of the car and took his receipt he quietly slipped into the car. He didn’t start the car up right away and they both sat there in silence for a minute.

“I miss her, Daniel, I miss her so much.” Leslie said in a shaky voice, breaking the silence.

“I know, I do too.” He said after a second or two, after he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. He wanted to reach over and hug her, hold her tight and tell her everything would be all right and he would have done it if he hadn’t realized that they were sitting in the middle of a gas station. Without another word he quickly started up the engine. He only stopped when he got to the exit of the station and as he sat there waiting for traffic to pass he reached into his collection of cassettes and pulled out a Stones cassette and popped it in. He didn’t want people talking to him, he wanted singing, if anything he wanted their “Paint it Black” song playing, but he’d have to wait, he had to drive.

The remainder of the two-hour drive to York consisted of Stones singing to him, Leslie listening to her music, and the sound of his engine. He didn’t know what had happened back at the gas station, but something had snapped in him and all he wanted to do was get the trip over with and hopefully get away from the painful memories of both of his parents dying, because that was happening. Since the first moment of hearing about his mother’s death memories of his dad and of his dad’s last few weeks on earth had come rushing back. Since the moment he stepped into his grandparent’s house back home to now, he had been holding everything in and he knew he had to make sure it stayed that way, at least until he was in the apartment and locked away in his room.

It was eleven thirty-five when he pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex. Leslie had dozed off again listening to her music and after he put the car into park he gently reached over and shook her.

“Les, we’re here.” He said gently as she slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“Cool.” Was all she said as she gave him a tired smile. She took off her headphones and got out of the car along with Daniel. She stood there and watched in an exhausted haze as Daniel pulled his duffel bag and her suitcase out of the trunk, he would get the rest in the morning. He threw the duffel bag over his shoulder and held the suitcase in the same hand, with his other arm he put it around Leslie’s shoulders and guided her toward the apartment.

“Hey, good to see you made it.” Jude said as he answered the door and this was only because Daniel had forgotten his key.

“Thanks. I’m gonna show Leslie my room and her settled in.” he said.

“Alright. Night, Leslie.” Jude said, giving her a smile and she gave him a tired smile in return as she tried to suppress a yawn.

“You can stay in here until you’re room’s set up, it’s sort of a study/rec/eating room at the moment.” He told her with a smile as she came out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, wearing sweat pants and an Ohio State t-shirt

“Ok. Daniel, could you sleep me tonight, just so I’m comfortable?” she asked and he could see a pleading look in her eyes.

“Yeah, I will. I’m just going to talk with Jude for a bit and then I’ll be in, promise.” He told her honestly.

“Alright, thanks.”

“Hey, you’re my little sister, I’d do anything for you. I love you, Les.” He said as he pulled her into a tight embrace.

“I love you too.” She said as she hugged him back. He gave her a kiss on the head before telling her he’d be back.

When he went into the living room he found Jude on the couch, a beer in hand, and the TV on, set to low.

“Want one?” he asked, pointing to a second beer sitting on the table as Daniel came in and sat down on the other end of the worn down couch.

“Sure.” Daniel replied as he grabbed it.

“You look tired.” Jude observed after a couple minutes of silence.

“It was a long drive.” Daniel replied, although he knew Jude hadn’t meant that entirely.

“You should go to bed, Leslie’s probably waiting.” Jude told him.

“You were listening?” Daniel asked, only have shocked.

“The walls aren’t thick and you’re aren’t all that quiet.” Jude said smiling as he wiped his blonde hair away from his hazel eyes.

“Alright. See you in the morning.” Daniel said as stood up, his half empty bottle in hand.

“You too.”

“Oh, Jude, thanks again.” Daniel said as he passed by him and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“Hey, anything for a friend, especially a best friend.” Jude told him, smiling warmly as he looked at him with honest eyes.

“Night.” Was the only response. Daniel was smiling though and Jude knew that Daniel knew he meant it.

After changing into his own sweat pants and Who t-shirt, Daniel gently crawled into his bed, making sure not to wake her. After turning off the lights and pulling the covers over him, he stared into the darkness with one arm under his head and the other resting on his stomach. His thoughts wandered to his parents, his own twenty-one years of life, the trip from here to Ohio and back, and everything else. After about ten minutes of laying there he felt something wet running down his face and when he brought hand up he realized they were tears, his tears. He didn’t mind though, it was dark, she was asleep, no one knew. It was better this way, he didn’t want Jude worrying about him and he needed to be strong for Leslie, she didn’t need to see him weak, not when she was weak herself.

Daniel fell asleep like that, his thoughts running at a million miles an hour and his tears silently falling. When he woke up he didn’t feel relaxed as though he’d gotten a good night’s rest, but he felt tense and edgy. He was like that from then on mostly, never really relaxed. He knew that he should be more than not, because he knew more than most people that life is too short to waste, but he had people who were looking to him and relaxing moments were not affordable. That was how he lived his life and until he met his wife in 2022 that’s how he remained. No one would break him, no one except her and when she finally did everyone cheered inwardly and some outwardly because all the pain that he held inside and all the tension was slowly let loose and he returned the to life loving man they had known in 2007 and before. He was Daniel Kingman again.