Transitions

Transitions

The pink and silver streamers on the handles of my new bike are just about my favorite things in the world. My friend Derek says pink is a girls color, but I don't care, eveyone thinks I'm a girl anyway.

I turned ten last week. I did not get very many presents, I never do, but they are good this year and Christmas is in two days anyway.

For once people got me really neat things for my birthday, instead of sports stuff and remote control cars. I got CAD design programs from my dad, he's an engineer and he says I can used the programs for my lego creations. My mom got knitted me a a great sparkly brown scarf. I got this journal from my big sister, and a feather bookmark from my little sister. My sisters are five and twenty-five. I guess that makes me the middle kid, but I feel like the oldest alot, since my sister is living in her own house now. I stayed over there last week for three days in a row. That's when I made my big discovery.

My mom had let me ride my bike to her house after my party was over, it was just three friends and my grandma besides my parents. The ride was further than I remembered it being in the fall, maybe it was because I didn't have the pretty streamers to look at yet, or maybe it was just colder. On the coast of Washington it doesn't really snow much, it's mostly just rain and slush, so my pants were soaked by the time I got to her house. We put them in the coin dryer that she shared with the upstairs renters.

They were just starting a load too, so we sat and talked to them. The man was very tall and very hairy, he reminded me of Big Foot, his features were broad and big, and he said he had to have his clothes specially order because he was so tall. His fiance was tall too, but looked small next to him. She had a wig on, I could tell because it was a little crooked. Her shoulders were broader than my dads. Even so, I though she was very pretty, even if she did have a little bit of hair under her chin and had a very deep voice. I told them I wanted to as tall as them when I grow up and my sister laughed, my whole family is short. Then they went inside and said they'd be right back when I told them it was my birthday. When they left I asked my sister if all women had hair on their chins. I know my mom shaves her legs, even though my sister doesn't, so I thought maybe most women shave their faces too, like my dad.

What she told me was totally cool...

The lady, who's name was Whitney, used to be a man! At first I laughed because I thought she was joking, but she wasn't! She told me lots of people are born not happy with their genders and they want to change them. Some of them even get operations that let them have bodies like the gender they want. She said the operations are better for women who use to be men, than the other way around. So Whitney doesn't have as much face hair now because of some sort of shot or something, but still gets some.

When they came back down Whitney handed me a present wrapped in comics from the newspaper with a huge crazy bow that had all sorts of colors. "I got some of these for my niece, but it turns out she doesn't like pink, so she took the blue ones. I hope you like them." She said as I pulled the streamers free of their wrapping. The man, who said his name was Hank, helped me put on the streamers. I asked him if Whitney really used to be a man and he said "Only her body was." Hank doesn't talk very much it seems. That night they came down for dinner, and brought me birthday brownies, which I'm not supposed to eat cause of milk allergies, but I did anyway. It was worth it. My sister told me that I could ask them questions if I wanted, but that I had to be nice about whatever answer they gave. I'm always nice. Don't ask my little sister to confirm it, she lies, but I am very nice.

So I asked as many questions as I could. They wouldn't talk about operations but they talked alot about politics. Which are really only interesting for a little while.

That night I coudn't sleep very well, probably because of the brownies. So I got up and went through my sisters things. She was sleeping in the living room so I could have the bed, so I didn't have to worry about her catching me. I found lots old pictures, and a few letters I think were old love letters, gross. I tried on some of her work clothes, they were all too big of course, but it was fun pretending to be grown up. Then I found the skirt. My sister really only wears pants ever. Never shorts and never skirts, but there it was, in the back of the closet in a box labeled, "Keepsakes". It was a plaid skirt with a white blouse folded under it. I recognized it from school, it must have been her old school uniform! She had gone to the same Catholic school I go to, even though our family isn't Catholic. I tried it on of course. It was about my size, maybe a little big, but not by much. The shirt was missing a button but it still looked fine with the blue vest that went with it. I tied up my long brown hair in a ponytail holder and let some wisps fall forward like my mom does sometimes. I looked in the long mirror hanging on the door. With my long eyelashes and heart shaped face it really looked like I was just another girl from Sacred Heart. I imagined myself as a girl...it surprised me that not much had to change in my mind. I stared at myself for a really long time before taking the uniform off and folding it back into the box. I climbed back into bed and fell asleep thinking how amazing it was that I could grow up to be anyone I wanted....a man or a woman. My last thought before drifting off asked me if it even mattered at all who I grew up to be, so long as I was still me.