When my head is nodding to what you say, please don’t take it as agreement. I'm only doing it to show that I've heard you.
For each unjustified complaint a heavy blow pounds my head. I'm still being hit even after I lose the understanding of what is pain, even after you've killed me.
My complaint is that Emmett Till is dead. He’s famous now; you can see pictures of his open casket on the internet. He died because we are racist and hate and even kill everyone who doesn’t look like us.
You are nodding your head but now I don’t know if you agree with me.
Author notes
I’m a tomboy sports fan who is known for not being witty. Muhammad Ali is famous for being a great personality as well as an awesome boxer, so I read a bio on him trying to learn about his wit so that some of that magic could rub off on me. I learned that Emmett Till was a great influence on Ali’s life and I think Till’s life is definitely worth at least a short story.
A contest entry
- Short Prose by Bitter Irony.
165 points, ended July 2, 2007, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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And I agree. Great piece, great theme, great flow.
I suggest cutting the sentence "Now I’m gone and dead" however, because the next sentence also ends with the word "dead" and it sounds very strange reading those two back to back. Also, get rid of the slash in hate/kill. Replace it with "and" "or" etc.
Great job! Good luck in the contest, and thanks for entering! -
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Thanks for replying so fast. I agree with your comments, and yes, I've made changes to my story.
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