The alarm clock had failed to go off. Or at least, that's what Jack imagined in his half-awake slumber state. The clock in fact had gone off, about half an hour ago. In a situation like this one the easiest thing to do is just to lie in bed and try your best not to think about work. Jack, however, lacked the capabilities of sheer ignorance.1
With a musical string of curse words Jack sprang from his bed and stumbled into the bathroom. He returned a few minutes later with toothpaste plastering his face. Late for work, again. It must be some kind of condition - a late for work syndrome, thought Jack. That would explain a lot, and he could always get a doctors note and use it as an excuse to lay in every now and again.2
As he shoved spoonfuls of cornflakes into his mouth while the dog made a mess in the corner his mind rested on the thought of actually having a late-for-work syndrome. The only problem was that there had to be a cure, and sooner of later Jack probably wouldn't be able to avoid it anymore. He reached for his coffee cup and downed the beautiful liquid. If there ever was a cure, it would be coffee. Coffee makes the world go round, so many people rely on it, and without it nothing would ever get done. The society we lived in would just collapse - Jack supposed it would be a very good idea to take away coffee if you were planning to dominate the world, people would just drop to your feet.3
The coffee steamed contently. "World's best Uncle" was written in scribbly handwriting on the side of the mug. Jack was pretty certain he wasn’t the World's best uncle - and was also sure that whoever was producing these mugs and selling them to ignorant little children with no imagination on what to get their dear uncle for his birthday, would probably be shot sooner or later. 4
But it brought Jack to another point. The coffee mug must be some kind of relic, it holds that precious coffee, and without it coffee simply couldn't exist. Such a clever invention, a nice handle to hold with too - convenient. There must have been coffee mugs since the beginning of history, Jack thought. It would be humorous if one was dug up, it would totally baffle those lazy historians. The world's most imaginative and clever invention turning out to have existed in medieval times. Jack smiled. Holding this thought he swigged the last of his coffee and dashed for the door - he would be late again, but at least he had his coffee.5
He would be back though. He had forgotten to put his clothes on.6
Author notes
Option 2, I went for the coffee cup.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Applause for an honorable mention!
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Thank you! And yes, those mugs are damn annoying - I knew at some stage I would end up writing about them, so I did! Glad I gave you the giggles!
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Thanks Georgia, and yes, the coffee cup is a great invention! Worship it!
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Great
I love the last line, omg I'm still giggling!!!
I honestly think my folks gave up coffee because they got tired of the cheesy mugs we gave them growing up Good Luck man!!!
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This is great! I love the ideas in this, and the end twist was great!
So the coffee mug is the greatest invention... Hmm, makes you think!
Great and humurous write.
Georgia
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Thank you! When I was writing it I was hoping that you would appreciate my type of humor, and thankfully you do! Yeah, I liked the last line too - all the way through I had the intention of writing that at the end. Thanks for enjoying it!
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Lol, thanks, I know the feeling. Glad I entertained you for a few minutes, thanks Hobbit Warrior!
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Haha... I love it. Very funny, not blunt but half sarcastic, the way I love my humor. I love this:
...whoever was producing these mugs and selling them to ignorant little children with no imagination on what to get their dear uncle for his birthday, would probably be shot sooner or later.
I remember myself getting my dad "World's Best Dad" mugs a million times... it's brilliant.
And the last line! Bloody hilarious.
Thanks for entering and good luck! -
That's great stuff. Sounds like my mornings late for school lol. Get up, brush teeth, down pop, OH CRAP FORGOT CLOTHES! I have to say that was pretty entertaining. Nice job,
Amanda
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