Deadly Mist

It was a beautiful Spring day and the days of acid rain were becoming fewer and fewer.  It is remarkable how the Earth was able to heal itself after the thermonuclear war 40 years ago. The ice at the north and south poles had been all but melted, but was now beginning to refreeze to a degree. The United States had survived in a sense, but more than half of the people had died and many were permanentlly handicapped. The government had fallen and after several civil wars, new governments had formed to the east and west, New California and Eastern Empire. Much of the former central United States was now barren. The ocean water, though it had to be treated to remove the salt, was much less radioactive. The population had migrated toward the coasts.1

All of the larger cities had been destroyed in the massive bombardments. New cities were rapidly springing up along the shores. Water treatment plants were key to the success of these cities. New California was a liberal society which encouraged civil liberties and rights. The Eastern Empire was a dictatorship ruled by Aston Asfomo, who was bent on world domination. He intended to achieve this goal by any means. His first target was New California.2

Major cities on all sides of the conflict during WWIII were destroyed. Small cities and rural areas were the only places not hit by nuclear weapons. Because of the radiation, nearly everyone was forced to the coasts. The radiation was carried by the rain, and yet it was the water which was at the same time gradually purifying the Earth.3

Aston Asfomo stepped out of his limousine in the armored motorcade and walked with measured steps briskly into the laboratory. He was met inside by three men in long white lab coats and followed them into a control room with a large window which gave view to a large empty air-tight isolation room. The tall man with thinning brown hair smiled and said, "I believe we have exactly what you have been wanting." The scientist was literally beaming.4

"It had better be good," said Asfomo. Asfomo didn't look like the evil power crazy man that he was. He was about average height with silky blonde hair and deceivingly friendly blue eyes.5

The scientist said enthusiatically, "It is active in a temperature range of 40 to 110 degrees. One part per one billion is effective. It remains effective for approximately an hour. After that period, it is safe to occupy the treated area. It mixes with plain water. If kept below 40 degrees, it can be activated simply be exposing it to air at a higher temperature. It is lethal if ingested, absorbed, or inhaled."6

"How would it be delivered?"7

"It could be dispersed by drone planes with sprayers or by conventional missles."8

"How does it work?" asked Asfomo.9

"Let me show you," he said to Asfomo. Through an intercom he said, "Bring in the subjects."10

A young woman, her husband and their daughter were led into the isolation chamber. "To speed the process, we are using here a thousand times the lethal dose. Using a minimal amount, a victim could suffer agonizing pain for as long as thirty minutes. The result at this level of toxicity should be nearly instantaneous."11

"Why three subjects?"12

"These were sympathizers and they represent an average family," said the scientist smiling.13

"Ah. I see," said Aston with laughter in his voice. "Do they know they are going to be killed?"14

"They have been led to believe they are helping in a nutritional study."15

"Think they believe that?"16

"Doesn't matter," said the scientist.17

"No, indeed it doesn't."18

The scientist pressed a button on the console in front of him and a mist began to spray from the ceiling in the isolation room. Almost immediately the three subjects collapsed and in moments their soft tissue became dust leaving only skeletons and clothing.19

"Oh this is good!" said Asfomo. "No rotting corpses. Just dust and bones. Are the results the same in minimal quantities?"20

"Yes, but it takes about a day for all the moisture to be released from the bodies at the smallest levels."21

"What about plants?"22

"It has no effect on plants, but kills any kind of animal life. It, in effect, dehydrates the test subjects completely."23

"Excellent! Excellent!"24

25

26


"We've got to take action!" said Lance Lambert to President Powers of New California after the deadly mist had been used on one of their cities.27

"But Asfomo has sworn to strike another city each day until we submit to his authority. What choice do I have?"28

Lance paced the floor in front of Powers desk in deep irritation. He was beside himself with anger. Hadn't there been enough killing? Yet on the other hand, how could they give in to a monster like Asfomo?29

When it was clear that Lance was not going to answer, Powers said, "Better to live under a tyrant than to die under one, isn't it?"30

"Is it?" demanded Lance.31

"For example, take Iraq," said Powers. "Though there was little freedom under Saddam, the Iraqis lived in relative peace until the United States invaded them and overthrew Saddam. Then there was utter chaos and civil war. Saddam had held it together. The result was the tension in the Middle East that led to WWIII. Billions have died now, and for what; to give freedom to a people who didn't want it?"32

"Yes, but will the killing never end?"33

"Perhaps it will under Asfomo if he achieves world domination. With this new weapon, he just might."34

"But what will happen when he dies?"35

Powers answered, "Another dictator will probably take his place."36

"We could assassinate Asfomo."37

"Yes, but even should we be successful, we are not in a position to take over his government. The resulting turmoil might be worse than submission."38

"It sounds like you have already given in!" fumed Lance.39

"I am trying to do what is best for my people."40

"But if we surrender to Asfomo, we become his slaves."41

"Better living slaves than free and dead."42

"Are you sure?" questioned Lance.43

"No, damn it! I'm not sure, but we haven't the resourses to defeat the Eastern Empire. Realistically, we can either surrender or fight and lose."44

"I'd rather die!" exclaimed Lance. "Than give into that madman."45

"I am certain many would agree, but I have to think of the welfare of the whole. I just don't think there is anything to be gained in fighting."46

"Our dignity!" shouted Lance.47

"The dead have no need of dignity." The president paused and then added, "We have a week to make a decision, but I really see no choice."48

49

50


"The president is here," said one of Asfomo's assistant's. President Powers was carefully searched and then permitted to enter Asfomo's formal office. There were several military leaders and Asfomo's security guards. Asfomo was seated at his desk. 51

"Well, what have the people of New California decided. Shall we continue to fight or shall we end this peacefully?" asked Aston.52

President Powers said, "Let the fighting in America stop. I ask that you treat my people with dignity and respect. We'll accept your authority over us."53

"You have made a wise decision," said Asfomo. "Many of your leaders will remain in place, but you and some of the others must step down."54

"Understood. We will do all we can to make it a smooth transition."55

"I expect no less."56

 57

58

That was the beginning of the take over of the world by Asfomo. Had the United States and its allies supported the United Nations instead of underminding it, WWIII might have been averted, but the US president who invaded Iraq selfishly for his own interests and those of his buddies destroyed the stability the United Nations might have provided. The division between nations which resulted rests squarely on the shoulders of these power hungry leaders. Humanity will always be slaves because of their unrestrained desires.59

Author notes

'The Actor' by the Moody Blues is my favorite song at this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3f5arPdxlU

Maple syrup.

This is kind of a satire about the war in Iraq, America and its allies, Democrats and Republicans. If you didn't catch all that, you might want to read through it again. Then again, you may not. I am fighting my way out of a writer's slump. Thanks for reading.

Andy

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • The Insane Eraser silver member
    November 23
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    XD I love these type of stories, and i loved this story. I found, my attention span has been shrinking, this kept my attention through the whoile thing...which is hard since I'm sick, so please don't mind the noinsense comment XD

    This really was a powerful peice, and i liked the reality of it.

    Warm Wishes
    Karbear


    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      2 days ago
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      Edit | Reply

      Hi Karissa!

      I'm very pleased you like this story.

      I hope you're feeling better.

      I'm glad you found this to be a powerful piece. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Andy


  • Tawnis
    November 23
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    Edit | Reply
    This was a really interesting read, I've always been a sucker for post apocolaptic stories (especialy the nucleur ones ) and this one had alot of believeability to it.
    The conversation between Powers and Lance seemed a little off, I'm sure what exactly it was but someting in there was bugging me and not making it sound right. I'm just not sure what it is though meh, mabye it's me.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      2 days ago
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      Edit | Reply

      Hi Tawnis!

      I'm glad you like this story. I do feel it needs work and expansion. I hope at some time to do a rewrite or pick up a co-writer for it.

      Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.

      Andy


  • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
    November 15
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    Edit | Reply
    First impression?
    Get off the

    .

    Andy, me boy, this isn’t much of a fiction story. Then again maybe it is if you really want Californians to roll over and play dead . Of course the Easterners could possibly whip their butts; but you ought to at least let the Westerners have a chance of winning…that would mean, I know, I always say it, a much longer story.

    You have such a great imagination when it comes to creating unusual plots.

    You start this one out with a terrific description for a Science Fiction Novel . Then you go in and out of a ‘political speech’ pattern of narration. Do you really believe this stuff ? .

    Of course it is Powers and Lance that are spouting most of the nonsense and it works while you remain in the dialogue style. But then at the end it seems to come from the narrator’s throat not such a good idea when a fiction writer should be neutral.

    Of course I fully expected for Powers or Lance to figure a way to rid the U S of Asfomo, not give in like sheep while he went on to take over the World. That of course is totally impossible to imagine. I can’t picture the English sitting still for such a thing. The Aussies (in WW2 they kept fighting until their male population was nearly depleted.) The Japanese, lordy here come the kamikazes. Even the countries like Vietnam wouldn’t sit still for a Yankee Dictator.

    Yes, it needs some editing. Take this, but more than half of the people had died and many were permanentlly (permanently) handicapped. Still, nothing drastic that would prevent a reader from continuing to read.

    Geri

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      November 15
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      Edit | Reply

      Hi Geri!

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Geri.

      Very true. As is usually the case when I write, there's room for much more. This story has more room than usual.

      I will never have time to go back over all my stories and fix them. So, I usually just write new and hope to improve in the process. I figure that if I get rich, I can hire people to work with my earlier stuff!

      Andy


  • Cherry Lips silver member
    November 14
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    Edit | Reply
    Really good. I don't even want to think about WWIII. That would suck. So sad that man has dominated man to their injury. You should keep writing more science fiction.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      November 14
      ?
      Edit | Reply

      Hello again!

      I have a Sci-fi novella that's fast-paced with short chapters. It's mixed with humor, suspense, action, romance and a touch of politics. I think you'd like it. It was written during the Bush administration and needs to be updated to a Democratic administration and some fleshing out.

      Here's the link, if you'd like to sample it:

      http://storywrite.com/list/39-Invasion-Of-Stagna-3

      Andy


  • Seamus
    November 14
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    Edit | Reply

    very evil

    The scientist was the most evil character in this story. Thought the better slave than dead element did not ring quite true. Expected Lance to be a bit more of a hero. But a pretty good read.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      November 14
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      Edit | Reply

      Hi Seamusl!

      There's really a lot of room for expanding this story, before the point it begins, after the ending, and within the story itself. I could do a lot with it, but I've got many other projects going. Maybe I'll find a co-writer that would like to play with it.

      Thanks so much for reading me and commenting and all the applause. I appreciate it.

      Andy


  • AntarticFox
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    Aye, Top job with this, The Imagry is Bleak yet vivid. An excelent picture of the post apocolypes struggles for power.

    The Characters on a note, seemed a bit generic, Just like bystanders. You say that Asfomo is evil, but the character development doesn't enforce that to the reader.

    However, Kudo's for the nukes and clean genocide. Overall, a worthwhile read. -Fox

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 15
      Edit | Reply

      Hi A Fox!

      Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased you like this story.

      Of course, this story could be expanded, but I thought the demonstration of Asfomo's evil was not bad; he calmly watched as an average family was eliminated in front of him mercilessly and his thoughts were only about how successful the new weapon was.

      May you have much fun with your contest.

      Andy


  • Duke1985
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    Good stuff thanks for entering.

    You paint a vivid picture of exactly how the world in your story came to be. This could certainly make a good series.

    I did enjoy the political undertones and how you've tied your story directly into current affairs.

    The only constructive criticism I have for you is I would have liked to see the character's personalities and emotions a bit more fleshed out. Does Asfomo have any reservations or conflicts internally about the use of this weapon?

    What emotions and thoughts are going through Lance's head as the President resigned his people to their fate.

    You touch on these things but I think it would have been interesting to read a bit more about.

    All and all though I really liked the story and think it would serve as a good base for you to expand upon if you choose to.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 15
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Duke!

      I'm very pleased you like this story. It has a bit of a foundation in reality and the picture of the future it paints is believable. It really isn't very deeply developed.

      I've got so many projects going and it seems, so little time, that I don't think I'll do much further development of this story unless I pick up a co-writer.

      Thanks for hosting.

      Andy

  • Hello Andy, it seems you might hold me up to my five entires a person cluase, thank you for putting your name in the A/N.

    I rather liked this story, it had a very good point to it. I must agree with you about how wrong the US invasion of Iraq was and how wrong our involvement in it is. We had a long, tedious, and techinical discussion in a university level US history class of mine and came to the same disission (for the most part).

    Well I love the point you made with this and have nothing against politics in my storeis (as some people seem to) it seems that the structure of this is a bit rough. The grammar and spelling is great it just reads a bit choppy.

    Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.

    • Hello again!

      Thanks for hosting this contest. I hope you have a lot fun with it.

      I don't think I'll be entering more, I don't have any more prewrites that fit, now and no time for writing fresh.

      The problem with including current politics in stories is that it dates the story. I doubt this story will stand the tast of time. It will probably be necessary update and edit the politics.

      Andy

  • This was a really nice story, but you didn't follow one of the rules. I wanted it to focus on the disease, and not really on the characters. Although I won't disqualify you for it, I just won't promise permitting you into the finals.

    • That's true,

      The focus is not as much on the disease as the characters. I don't have time and won't for a while to write anything new.

      This story fit pretty well otherwise, didn't it?

      Andy

      • Well, I suppose.
        Added to finalist group. Thank you for entering, and I hope you will enter my future contests. In the mean time, stay tuned. Thank you.


  • Bloody Chaplain
    July 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I dont really like to hear political rants in my stories unless it is a contest for political rants and raves. Oh ya and the average Iraq person loves the freedom they have its few ass holes that screw stuff up that make the problem. Well any way it was a good read.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      July 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Oh sure.

      The average Iraqi is fleeing the country because of the freedom we have given them. Over 5,000,000 Iraqis have left their country out of fear and hardship. More than 150,000 Iraqis have been killed. They do not have freedom, they have war and military occupation by the US and its allies. One of the president's advisors stated that 80% of Iraqis did not want US occupation.

      You have the right as a contest host to choose the stories you like best. I remember nothing from your rules that restricted my entry and it seemed only natural to give it a realistic base.

      Andy


  • NewGuy90
    June 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This was really brilliant! The first part of the story and Asfomo’s character made me think of Hitler and his regime; however, later in the story I understood the connotation to the USA and Iraq dilemma. War and post-nuclear stories are some of my favorites so I especially enjoyed this one! If you’re interested you might want to read something that read recently, a novel which I have to recommend: “The Hess Cross” by James Stewart Thayer. Thanks for your great story! Hope it broke your writers block because I’m always looking forward to your stories!

    ♥NewGuy90

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      June 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks for reading, commenting and applauding. I really appreciate it. The attitude of Asfomo is similar to Hitler's, I think. However, I didn't have Hitler in mind as I wrote it. I think those who strive for world domination have to have similarities.

      I haven't started my next story, so I don't know if I am past my writer's block or not, but it felt good to write this.

      Andy

  • Hawkeyes
    June 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    I like the dialog and the creativity of your writing is excellent. The writing is perfect but I think there should be more and I am thinking of writing a horror story and hopefully I will learn from you. Keep up the good work and I want to read more of your works.

    beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      June 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks for reading, commenting and applauding. I really appreciate it. I'm very pleased that you like this story so well. I've been suffering from writer's block and this is the first finished story I've posted in more than a month. Your comments are very encouraging. What is your horror story to be about?

      Andy

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