I can hear him coming after me.1
He must have gotten the note from my teacher.2
She said that she thought I must be getting bullied and wants a meeting,3
that is enough to set him off again.4
I did really well this week.5
I stayed out of his way, and did not cry or bring attention to myself.6
But now he is coming.7
Now he stumbles.8
He must be drunk again, he's always drunk when he gets fired,9
and that happens a lot.10
My door bursts open.11
...12
...13
...14
it's over, he is gone again.15
I bury my head in my stuffed lion.16
I wish I was back with my mom.17
She was kind to me, but she was killed...18
so now I am here with strangers19
who swear that they will kill me if I tell social services.20
They want to get more kids you see,21
one kid to hit, one kid to throw down stairs isn't enough any more.22
I hear his steps again...23
no... it's her, not him.24
I hear the bolt on the outside of my door shut.25
I am a prisoner here, in this room. Just me and Aslan my lion.26
Two days later and I am still here locked up.27
I have had no food, and just one juice box between me and Aslan.28
I curl up to hold off the pain in my tummy.29
I won't cry because it just makes me more thirsty.30
I dream that someday someone will rescue me.31
and bring me to a wonderful family.32
Where I will get toys and books,33
and where no one will hurt me ever again.34
I wish there was a hero out there,35
on his way to save me, on his way to protect me forever. 36
He has finally let me out.37
I feel all shaky, and so hungry that I want to cry38
I do not cry.39
I must never cry.40
That's the biggest rule.41
No crying at all, ever.42
She sees that I am clutching Aslan.43
she grabs it and holds it out the window.44
"stupid girl! It's just a toy, why do you hold it as if it45
was your first born child?!"46
I am afraid she might drop it. I can't help it,47
a tear escapes me.48
Next thing I know I am against the wall...49
...50
...51
...52
...53
I lay in bed much later. I have school tomorrow, I need to sleep.54
I am afraid of the dark. I NEED Aslan, but she took him away.55
At school my teacher notices that I have several bruises on my face.56
She sends me to the nurse.57
I tell the nurse that I fell down the stairs. It's not a lie, I did fall58
but that's because he pushed me.59
The nurse doesn't believe me.60
She calls Him at work.61
I am told that he is coming to get me,62
and take me 'home'63
I start to cry. I know I'm not allowed, but I can not help it.64
The nurse asks me how I got bruised.65
I tell her the truth.66
She calls the police.67
...68
...69
that night I spend at a hospital, they want to do tests on me.70
Because I have a lot of injuries.71
The hospital is even more scary than His house to me.72
So many people, poking and talking about me.73
The next morning I am told that Him and Her are in Jail.74
I am brought to their house to get my things.75
I find Aslan on my bed. His back was torn open and stuffing is all over my room. I start to cry again.76
The social worker promises she will get me a new one,77
but I beg her to save Aslan, Mommy gave him to me, I need him.78
...79
...80
My new family scares me. They speak softly to me, but so did she,81
before she scratched me.82
They hug me,83
but so did he, when he was trying to break my back.84
They try to get me to eat,85
but She use to put soap in my food, and I am scared to eat.86
Aslan is all better now, he is a bit thinner,87
a bit, ragged, but he is my protector again.88
I just want to be safe. I don't want to be hurt anymore.89
I want to be allowed to cry or laugh, if I want to.90
But if I do I might get hurt.91
I might get hurt bad. 92
Author notes
Elvenfairy
A contest entry
- Something you put your heart into.................. by MoonRoseWolf.
150 points, ended August 29, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short and Sweet by abba12.
175 points, ended October 2, 2007, 38 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I Don't Want To Grow Up, Cause If I Did...... by Midnight-Engaged.
475 points, ended November 3, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Your BEST SHORT story. by islekine.
225 points, ended December 3, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Gimme Bad Homes and Psychology! by Cold Wonder.
160 points, ended October 29, 6 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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WOW!! amazing!
omg!! this is totally amazing! a little kid's point of view always makes you want to cry and hold them tight. very good!! i love it!! -
This is so bitter, it's so true...
I love this for its honesty. It makes me sad because one of the biggest rules in my household is to not cry because I will get abused...emotionally.
I hate it when a child is so scarred that she can't trust anyone else in the world. I know that feeling too.
Thank you for being a part of this child abuse awareness.
*Frozen Angel* -
I'm not sure how anyone can call this "pretty"
It is very well penned...and has great impact!
This is a great write!
It had my attention...to the end!
Write on!
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pretty.....very pretty. Vague, but pretty.
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"The next morning I am told that Him and Her are in Jail."- This line should say "He and she". Told you, I'm a stickler for grammar and spelling.
Anyway, I am partial to stories, but I do like this piece, even though it is a poem. Very heartfelt, although I do wish that it went more into detail, and I think that if you really wanted to, you could turn this into a story because it's a lot like a story as is.
Thank you for entering.
~Memoirs
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It said him and her because it is a six year old girl talking, thesix year olds are not known for good grammar. Also, it is a story poem so I put it here on storywrite as well as on allpoetry
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I admire how you used the blanks during the times when it was obvious that your character was suffering at the hands of adults - it tied together the persona you put across with the emotion and the need to forget rather than relive the events of abuse. Occasionally, descriptions can be implied without resorting to 'telling' the reader - here the blanks left it up to the imagination of the reader 'to see' what was going on. Well done!
Thank you for your entry and good luck!
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This was brilliantly told from the childs perspective. It was extremely sad and moving. The toy lion being her safety protector made it even more real and i could picture it all so clearly. I liked the ending that you gave the story as it left the reader with hope the child would be ok but well done for also pointing out how much trust the child had lost in even those adults who are potentially safe. Well done and keep up the good writing!
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I like how realistically this is told. It really puts the reader in the place of the child and enables us to understand. This was written really well. I like how it was conveyed and how the lion was the child's one constant. It was really sad and touching. Good write!
WritingFree -
I got it: it was touching, but domestic abuse by itself is also - no matter how personal it may be to you - a theme that's seen its day. Good, maybe makes me wish I had a silver or a bronze or an honourable mention to give away
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That is so sad. i really enjoyed it. Thank you for entering my contest.
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this is amazing and it really effected me. abuse is a dificult topic for me, and this really did touch me. especially at the end, where the child is afraid of the new family anyway, after wanting so much to have a nice family. its very well written from the childs perspective, thank you for entering, great work.
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This was brilliant. it really touched me and I honestly cried. There is a lot of emotion in this and I love the way it was wrote. Good luck with the contest!
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Wow.
Brilliant. Seriously. Incredible. So sad, so good, you deserve an award or something for this! Incredible imagery and your style is amazing!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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