Sara rode hard toward Riverwood. She would finally meet the elves. She had always wanted to meet them but her father had never let her.
**********Three days later she arrived in Riverwood and was greeted by Lord Carnel himself. "Ah i see Princess Sara Thornhill of Bella-Shar has arrived," he said helping her down from her exausted horse. Another elf came and took the horse away. "How did you know my name?" Sara asked. "I know alot of things. I was expecting your father to send one of your dear brothers." He answered. "He was going to have one of my brothers come but they gave me the oppertunity to escape instead."she said walking toward a beautiful waterfall. "Escape what my dear?" Lord Carnel asked walking to the waters edge. "Escape marriage. My father gave Sir Jared Bell-Fall of Karden my hand in marriage. I don't want to marry him, i mean he betrayed his father. How do i know he won't betray me too. I just need a safe haven." Lord Carnel turned and smiled at her,"You may stay here as long as you need to. I will have a room made up for you."
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this part is sweet so far... Is that all I hope not..I want to read more. Who is Liam? Do we meet him soon?
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I would have added more to this... but you have the wheel. The one thing that confuses me is the title of this series "Liam and his secret love" and we haven't even met Liam, I don't think... good chapter
DarkOne -
You should get a beta. Your punctuation around dialog...no words to describe it. I'm a beta-reader myself, and I don't think I've seen someone this confused about grammar. I don't mean to be offending you...but look into it. I'm sure many betas would be more than willing to take your project on.
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