She seemed out of place in the dingy city, like a rose flourishing among weeds, and her uncommon beauty captivated me. With slowing steps, we crossed the busy street toward each other and from within the growing pools of her eyes I discovered a world resplendent, where virility and love beckoned for me to enter her paradise.
Glancing at her watch she said, “Its two-fifteen,” I’d forgotten that I asked, and we stared at each other expectantly, wanting to say more. Tragically, love was left unspoken, and with fading smiles and falling hopes, she and I went our separate ways.
Author notes
For the many times in our lives when we realize we should have said something but didn’t. (100 words exactly)
A contest entry
- Short Prose by Bitter Irony.
165 points, ended July 2, 2007, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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awww this one is cute and loveing to i have done the same thing to prenty of time and some that i have spoken to that thought i was some crazy person
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awwww I felt like crying it was so rich with that feeling and sense of aloneness in a way- in a short whil as they part away
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Aww, how many times has this happened to me? Let's see........ A LOT! This is beautifully written. Keep up the fantastic work.
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"I continued on our separate ways." "We" continued on our separate ways. ;-)
I like this story a lot: also, the flow of your words is great. Try splitting up that monster of an opening sentence into two, though, or even three.
Nice message, too.
Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck!beginning: 2, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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