Harriet

Missing image
HARRIET1

I couldn’t have been more than seven or eight years old when I first laid eyes on Harriet. She, however, never quite saw me. Instantly, and forever more, she established the criteria for what it took to set The Heart Throb in motion. One might have termed it "crush at first sight." But although the crush was not unique to me, (there were others) from what I can recall of my fever case, a few degrees of heat lingered for a mere fifty years. Or to keep the metaphor consistent, this “crush” left traces in my system of several reverberating aftershocks over time.2

The neatly clad and astonishing little redhead graced our fourth grade classroom long enough to chronically distract me from more serious pursuits, like schoolwork. Assembling in the schoolyard, lining up, entering class, sitting down, reciting or performing in any way became little more than exercises in watching for Harriet, standing tall before her, trying to catch her attention, seeking out her approval. None of it seemed to work and too many days were spent gawking at her and freezing, motionless, into a disembodied heartbeat each time she talked, gestured or entered a room. I can still see her blue eyes.3

It was on a late spring day, deceptively like summer and tantalizingly so, that I was moved to action. Joyce Roth was one of the higher intellects in our class, though not on the Harriet heart throb level, and one of Harriet’s better friends. Moreover she was amicable, understanding and approachable. So I approached Joyce. Did she think Harriet liked me? Would she find out? The day was torn by my impatience and laced with anticipation. Periodically I scanned Joyce’s aisle for a sign, sought encouragement at recess, passed reminder notes when possible. But Joyce was responsible and not likely to forget to inquire on my behalf. She was to meet me after school at three o’clock, at the school’s south exit on West 173rd street.4

The day was still beautiful and the weather warm but I was warmer and did not share in the day’s tranquility. In fact what little remained of that afternoon was to become an indelible pain and disappointment. There was Joyce, waiting. My heart leapt. I approached her.5

“Does Harriet like me?”6

“No. Harriet says she doesn’t like you.”7

“Why?” I asked, clinging to some hope for specious reasons that I might use to cushion my decimation.8

“She says your ears stick out.”9

Devastated beyond ruin and somewhat numbed by this new revelation, I hurried home to investigate the matter further. Dashing upstairs I took a position before my mother’s full length mirror. Standing close to it I scrutinized my ears, staring at them and examining the distance at which they stood out from my head. They seemed alright and not particularly alien, although the longer I contemplated the protrusions the stranger they became. It was at that point my mother came into the room.10

“What are you doing, dear?” she asked.11

“Do my ears stick out?” I moaned, anxious now for this final pronouncement, one that would hopefully mollify and rightfully spurn the derision I had suffered. A mother’s inviolable truth. 12

“Well,” she said, “just a little, dear.” Alas, she was too truthful.13

So the remainder of fourth grade passed as I shrunk from Harriet and could only stare longingly, but from safe distances, at her, hoping with the coming and going of the summer months that I might grow taller and stronger and that my ears might somehow retreat closer to the sides of my head.14

It was a little more than a year later I awoke one Sunday morning with the brilliant idea of dressing and sneaking out of our apartment at the outrageously early hour, for me, of nine o’clock. I dressed carefully in what I thought were my most dashing clothes. The jersey was a tight one, showing off what semblance of a build I had; my trousers were creased; my jacket was Air Force Bomber style with manly shoulders. My mission was to traverse J.Hood Wright Park on 176th street and Pinehurst Avenue to emerge on Fort Washington Avenue at 173rd street, just a few short blocks from where Harriet and her family lived. 15

I made my way briskly up to Pinehurst Avenue from Cabrini Boulevard and over to the park entrance ramp at 176th street. There I paused, my heart beating strongly in anticipation, as I bravely surveyed the park beyond. Hannibal before the Alps. The great Sunday morning adventure lay ahead. I was ready. 16

With the somewhat soothing consolation of “what could happen?” I forged ahead, traversing the park. What were the chances, I speculated, of my catching a glimpse of her? What were the chances of her being up at this hour? Of her going out? Of her seeing me? What were the chances of her noticing me…if she was up, if she did go out, if she did see me? Despite all odds, I pressed on, slicing through doubt and fear, marshalling hope, mobilizing energies, mustering determination, cutting through the early morning freshness and chill as I half hoped I somehow would miss her altogether. 17

Emerging, somewhat more slowly and cautiously than I had when I entered the park, I looked about as if all of Fort Washington Avenue had been alerted to my arrival. I felt as though I were something of an intruder in the neighborhood. It was really a bit distant from my own. Yes, I attended school here, but not as a resident with a support group of friends and neighbors. Essentially I was a foreigner. Hands in jacket pocket I whistled my way toward Harriet’s apartment building at 250 Fort Washington Avenue. Even the number of her address was tinged with romance, excitement, adventure and danger. I waited.18

And I waited. At first I waited from across the street. Then, as the morning wore on, from in front of the building, before the short flight of steps. At one point, I can remember going up and inside the lobby. Perhaps that might draw her out. It did not. Others came and went. People looked at the young boy and may have wondered what the stranger was doing. For whom he waited. Each outward thrust of the heavy wrought iron and glass lobby door gave a start, blowing a little hope my way from the darkish lobby, ushering forth the chance, the possibility of the morning’s adventure bearing some fruit. I waited the morning away until I got cold and tired. She never came down. 19

Shortly following the start of what then was known as Junior High School, Harriet moved away, somewhere in or near an area called Forest Hills. I spent the next five years or so not thinking of her. 20

Somewhere ankle deep into my sophomore year in college, while leafing through an old address book on a particularly desperate date-deprived Saturday evening, I found her name. I cannot imagine how I came to procure her Forest Hills telephone number, but there it was. I studied it. I contemplated it. I dismissed it. I allowed it to challenge me. I let it simmer. 21

I suppose I was feeling lots better about myself during these college days than I had during my younger days at P.S. 173. After all, I was president of my sophomore class now, Grand Regent of my fraternity, I had succeeded in achieving a surprisingly good first year index, I had enjoyed a role, although a minor one, in a campus theater production, and, or so I thought, my ears didn’t stick out…as much anyway. Not noticeably. So I called her number. And my voice had deepened. After several rings Harriet answered the phone. I still recognized her voice. It had a kind of clipped sneer to it. 22

“Hi,” I began cleverly. “You may not remember me. Gary…from your fourth, fifth and sixth grade class in P.S. 173?”23

“I’m afraid not,” she said. There was no hesitation, no doubt in her voice. Same clipped, sneer.24

“I lived in Joanie Miller’s building on Cabrini Boulevard? I was Joyce Roth’s friend.” Joan Miller was a good friend of hers. She sometimes visited Joanie. I had lived for those rare afternoons.25

“Look, it’s been a long time, and I really don’t remember you at all.”26

Well, it really hadn’t been that long a time and those were very formative years for all of us. I thought we had been kind of an item; at least so far as classmates’ teasing and rumors counted. I couldn’t believe her not remembering at all.27

“And Evelyn Strawlberg? Don’t you remember the time someone stole your blouse at Evelyn Strawlberg’s house at that little costume party and you had to leave in a borrowed pea coat?”28

“I’m sorry,” she clipped out, “I don’t remember any of this. And I really don’t have time to talk. I’m going out.”29

“You once said my ears stuck out.”30

And she hung up. 31

It took me awhile to forget that conversation and awhile to regain some of the old sophomore confidence. I did not, however, risk another phone call to Harriet.32

Some years passed and I found myself broadcasting on a 50,000 watt radio station in Boston, Massachusetts. I was performing an afternoon program, spinning records and telling little stories. One of these vignettes was about Harriet. It may have been the Joyce Roth debacle or the try at getting a dinner date disaster. I always ended my programs with the humble phrase: “I await your phone calls in the outer lobby.” No sooner had I uttered this phrase and signed off, I was informed that I indeed had a call…in the outer lobby.33

The call was from a guy I didn’t know. Nor did the guy know me. But he had been listening to the show as he was driving across Massachusetts into Boston. He had heard the Harriet anecdote and said he almost drove off the road. It seems his brother, he told me, was engaged to Harriet but he, the caller, had been infatuated with her. “Who wasn’t?” he said. “And,” he confided, “I knew exactly what you meant when you described her. What a bitch!”34

When I left Boston for New York, I was in my thirties and found myself running into people I had known years ago. They were mostly school chums from Washington Heights, some High School of Music and Art people and even college pals. It was not unusual since everybody, at one time or another seems to gravitate to New York City. But, as I told an old friend of mine: “Funny. I never ran into Harriet.”35

When I nostalgically confessed this, my friend counseled “You can’t go home again!” and advised me to hope I never see Harriet because I would be sure to be deeply disappointed. “Better,” he said, “to remember her as she was. That little redheaded beauty with the sharp blue eyes. By now,” he added sagely, “she is probably fat, old and dumpy. You had best stay with your fantasies.”36

More and more of my time was taken with freelance narration work, which afforded me some freedom and took me far and wide during the course of a week. At one point I contracted for a series of jobs in Douglaston, Queens. It was a bit of a trek, but I always harbored the thought of possibly running into Harriet, serendipitously, against the odds, despite my friend’s admonition.37

Then, one day, it happened. I was taken completely by surprise. Ascending a long flight of stairs at New York’s Penn Station, tired and on my way home from an arduous day in Douglaston, I noticed a comely redhead some several steps ahead of me. She was dressed in a neat topper just short enough to sport a shapely pair of legs. She was one of the few women in heels, a conservative pair of black pumps, and walked with a confident, unhurried pace. It couldn’t be, I thought, but the closer I drew to her the more this vision seemed to fit my expectations of what Harriet might look like now. She appeared, from the back, to be about the same age and height, as far as my recollections went. My scheme was to cunningly dash ahead and check her from the front. Surely, however, the entire effort rested on a wishful thought that I was mistaken. 38

Only a few smoothly executed steps taken two and three at a time and I had arrived well in front of the woman. Artfully I turned about and saw her face. It was her! But she didn’t appear as my friend had predicted. She wasn’t old, or fat or unrecognizably smothered by the years. She was lovely, radiant and she sparkled, beyond expectations. Predictions were wrong. And now, in point of actual fact, it had happened. The law of averages had worked out. There she was, walking toward me.39

Feigning surprise with just the right measure of confusion, and hoping to dazzle her with my flawless memory for faces and names I said:40

“Harriet? Harriet Sinje?”41

She smiled a kind, soft and very sweet smile. Encouraging my advance she said, “Thank you.” But then she added, “I wish I looked like Harriet.”42

My dismay must have been apparent. She continued, “A lot of people mistake me for Harriet, but I’m not her.”43

“You look exactly like her,” I said, shock and incredulity still on my sleeve. “I went to public school with her.” 44

“She’s changed since then,” said the redhead. “She’s become a lot more beautiful. People stop me all the time and take me for her, but I only wish I looked like her.”45

We chatted a bit about where Harriet lived now, far out on Long Island. That she was married. Her extraordinary looks. I thanked the woman. She walked off. 46

I never saw Harriet after that and I had not been to Douglaston for more than twenty years. Not that I was planning on it, but I did wonder, if I ever ventured out Queens way, what the odds would be of bumping into the real Harriet after so many years. After all, I had run into just about everyone else. More or less, mostly more I suppose, it may indeed have been statistically about time perhaps for just one sighting. Of course my friend had advised against it. But he was wrong. And don’t they say something about hope springing eternal? I hoped, on the one hand, that my luck would hold and I would never run into Harriet again. On the other hand, I thought, maybe one of these days…who knows? What would be the chances? The odds?47

Author notes

This is a short story about one man's dream...; it tells of the connections between disappointment, destruction and defeat...and hope. Always, hope!
Gary Alexander

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 99 of 178     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • ForeverUnloved
    November 4
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    Thanks for entering my contest. I like this. Your a finalist by the way Good luck


  • dancer.
    October 29
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    Thank you for entering my contest!


    Wow. This was amazing. I love how the guy searched for Harriet his whole life and never finds her, like someone said below, an anti-hollywood ending. My favorite part has to be whne he meets that woman who isn't Harriet, but is beautiful adn radiant like her as well. I began to think, "Harriet isn't that bad." But then you explained that she wasn't her.


    Excellent job,
    dancer.


  • Cecilie
    October 28
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    Edit | Reply
    Sorry...to many words..
    Remove some, or I'll have to disqalify you


  • seamusl gold member
    October 21

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    Fantastically Funny

    Another great story, Dumbo, I mean Gary. Again you have the most extraordinary intuitive insights into the everyman plane that we all live on. The humor,so evident in hindsight, almost makes the pain of the moment worthwhile. And the anti Hollywood ending, well I can just about see the drooling as you contemplate her mature beauty. Don't show this story to your wife, she'll expect a hymn of praise that even you may not be able to sing. Your stories are like a Michelob, never had a bad one.


  • Peace fighter
    October 18

    Edit | Reply

    Very good

    I enjoy this story. It makes alot of sense. Everyone will have a harriet in their lives or probaly has had one. This was a well writin and well thought out story Gary

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.

  • lavalady
    October 11

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    Excellent!

    Kudos, Gary, this one is out of the park!
    My only wonder is, other than red hair and blue eyes what magic did Harriet have that so mesmerized the boy? She sounds like a real snit to me.

    Your writing is superb here, and you included enough humor and very real junior hi reality to give the story credibility. Kids can be cruel at that age, and some on into adulthood. I'm wondering why your protagonist didn't followup on the look-alike woman? Oh well.

    Great work!


  • checkeredglasses
    September 29

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    Firstly, thank you for entering.
    Owah, this was amazing. I mean, I read through it slowlyy, it is one of those things were you can not rush through it. I mean, I wanted to know everything I could. You gave me the thought of what was happening, a mental picture really. I liked how you ALWAYS kept hope around. I was really amazed at this piece. Great job!

    Good job!
    Thanks!
    Good luck!

    ~Alex


  • idajellybean
    September 24

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    AWW! The beginning was extremely cute and well-written (as was the whole story). You incorporated the exact amount of childhood-like scenes and emotions and it was just really funny and cute. The middle and ending made me sad cus even though it is obvious that Harriet is probably not a nice person that he would want to meet..he just keeps trying, hoping, believing..over someone who would brush him off in a moment. Very nice story of unrequited..infatuation?


  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    September 16

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    This was very well written. I enjoyed this. Thanks for entering and best of luck!!~


  • Raeyle
    September 10

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    I had seen this story before as you had entered it last year into a contest that I had running at the time. But I did not let that stop me from rereading it and looking at it from the perspective of the criteria for the current contest.
    First of all, it is a good story. The plot is one that I think many people will find resonance. It has the trends of familiarity which lends to its readability. Secondly, the development of the story, that is the progression through the events is at a pace that is suitable for this piece.
    The characters are believable. I like how you shroud Harriet in this semi-elusive quality. It's as if you know what is beyond the shroud but it will somehow still surprise you when you get close enough to figure it out.

    That being said. Harriet is a love story, I will grant you that. But I do not think it fully embraces the genre of romance. You do have the love elements in there or misplace love elements, the themes of love not return etc etc. But the romance aspect is missing somewhat.
    Do not get me wrong. This is a good write that you have here. But for this particular contest, I think it doesn't quite fit the genre of the competition.
    Keep writing though. God continue to bless ya. And don't ever stop writing!


  • seasonsoflove silver member
    September 6
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    Good work!

    Plot: 3
    Langauge: 3
    Theme: 2

    Total: 8

    This is really good. Keep it up!!


  • Le Masquerade silver member
    July 28

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    It's interesting to see things from a boys point of view. It's a bit different from the things I uusally like. She was mean I' m glad it wasn't her at the end though

  • faeriestone
    July 26
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    I loved this story! The beginning reminded me of, 'The Wonder Years.' You captured the angst of young love brilliantly.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • Ilovewriting
    July 26
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    srry got bored

  • I am.
    July 19

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    wOW, WHAT A SWEET STORY!

    I like the ending, cus' it's not cliche. You have a nice style of writing, but I couldn't really feel the boys emotions very well when reading the story.


  • Rose Hathaway
    July 18

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    Very Nice

    Quite a charming tale, although I was a little disappointed by the ending. Perhaps the guy could end up in a relationship with the person he thought was Harriet? That's just me. *shrugs* Some of the lines in this reminded me of a movie I have seen where a guy ages backwards through life and him and his lover eventually meet up at the same age but then continue on their separate ways. One of the things the character always said was 'I always remembered those blue eyes'. Sorry *shakes head* I'm rambling. A great read!


  • silent dances
    June 27

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    This was amazing, as usual. I like you're stories because they make me chuckle nearly every time. Like how seriously you took that ear comment and your crush on Harriet. That childhood for you. Anyway, great story. ^_^

  • Adele Ellen Bakker
    June 26

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    Captivating

    I wish I could write this well! A classic case of limerence if ever I read one. I loved it, but I'm so glad he never met Harriet again - she doesn't deserve such devotion.

    beginning: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, characters: 4.


  • Shadow Pixie
    June 25

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    This was a very good story, and at the end I found myself wondering who the woman was. If she wasn't Harriet, maybe she was a relation? It's nice to have the mystery.
    Thank you for your entry and good luck


  • Jennywinnie
    June 17
    Edit | Reply
    I really love how you start,but I woul try reading it out loud. I don't see anything wrong, it just seems kind of choppy, or something. The idea is coming across though, and I love yur word choice.

    I loved standing tall before her...that was just so cute.

    Awe p6 those painful elementary romances!

    Yep I love it! Definatelyes stronger as I read, so just try to reword the beginning.

    Great job


  • Mad Ink
    June 14

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    cute

    It was sweet, and it reminded me of a couple guys at my school. But I never foreget a face, lol. Great job, you did good with this.

  • gone.green.0
    June 10

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    I really liked your story, of young love leading to mature love! A storyline I always enjoy...

    Thanks for entering--you're SO a finalist!

    ~IncessantMusic~


  • Wickedruby1 gold member
    June 6

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    Excellent

    You have such a delightful way of discribing feelings. I was half looking for her before I fenished the read.These things happen, some people just stay in your mind even when you are old enough to know better.


  • BeckyVilRoolZeVorld
    May 29

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    Neeeeeep. Sorry I forgot to give you the clappy thingies!
    ....I had to re-read this because it was pure gold...But this time I skimmed. xD
    Anyways...Here's your claps!!!!!!
    Lol.
    And good job! (Again...)

  • BeckyVilRoolZeVorld
    May 29
    Edit | Reply
    I will tell you what I think....I think this was amazing.
    The first paragraph brought me into it and I read it to the end. ^^ I loved the detail of how devoted the main character is. And how snooty and uptight Harriet is... xD
    This story has a right to be shameless. =]
    Good job and keep it up!


  • grampabob1946
    May 28

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    Very Well Done

    Highly polished, articulate, well paced. I like the quote from Alexander Pope, the rest of the quote being "for man is always to be but never is blest." The woman is, of course, the real Harriet. She is just to self absorbed to be bothered. Well Done!


  • HaydenLautner gold member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    "left traces in my system of several reverberating aftershocks over time" (para 1) for some strange reason, this part here stood out from me, from the whole paragraph, it gives the first part of the story deep emotion.

    "I can still see her blue eyes." (paragraph 2) short affective line. Even though it is a simple line, the reader can see, that he notices every detail of his crush, and he still remembers it, even though it has been years since he last saw her.

    “She says your ears stick out.” Harriet is very superficial, only going after looks.

    Paragraph 10, is the most realistic paragraph. The way that the main character acted, is the way 'real' people would act.
    For some strange reason I actually found this humourous. He just found out the girl that he liked, doesn't like him, but he is worrying more about his appearance *clap*

    Paragraph 17, realistic emotions.

    "waited the morning away until I got cold and tired. She never came down" felt sorry for the character, by this part, I really don't like Harriet.

    I really liked the simple sentences you use in paragraph 21, the whole story becomes more affective. It's a great device to captivate the readers attention

    ""By now,” he added sagely, “she is probably fat, old and dumpy. You had best stay with your fantasies."" This gives me the impression that he only likes Harriet because of her looks.
    He doesn't really love her, he only likes what she looks like.
    This is only my honest opinion.

    "She was lovely, radiant and she sparkled, beyond expectations." This paragraph shows the contrast between the radiance of her outer self, and the darkness of her inner self. Genius! *clap*

    This was great, it was well written, it had a lot of description in every chapter, and it had a bitter sweet ending.
    Most importantly, this story shows hope, and the will to never give up.

    (I think this is the longest review I ever gave to someone.)






  • IrishYndina Greeters member
    May 18

    Edit | Reply
    Hi GA As you predicted, I don’t have a whole lot to offer in terms of edits on this story. It’s already remarkably well-polished. Everything I suggest is very minor – some conventions, a couple other slight suggestions on ordering, etc. They're things that might help add that little bit of shine to an already great story.

    It’s very good, though – I’ve read it before and enjoyed reading it again. The only broad sense suggestion I have is to think about doing a bit more with the Harriet look-a-like at the end. You build up this expectation of meeting Harriet once again, and then there is this quick realization that it’s not her and dismissal of this other woman without so much as a name or reason for her knowing Harriet. It’s a bit anticlimactic, you know? Just a thought, anyways.

    * Para 2: Just a stylistic suggestion, but you may consider using quotation marks in: One might have termed it “crush at first sight.”

    * Para 2: The comma always goes after the parentheses. For example, “But although the crush was not unique to me (there were others), from what I can recall of my fever case, a few degrees of heat lingered for a mere fifty years.”

    * Para 4: You have an extra space in “three o’ clock.” It should be “three o’clock.”

    * Para 16: You use two phrases that begin with “as” in the sentence: “There I paused, as my heart beat strongly in anticipation, as I bravely surveyed the park beyond.” This makes it sound a bit repetitive.

    * Para 18: I think that using “entered” instead of “entering” in the sentence that says “somewhat more slowly and cautiously than I had entering the park” might make more sense.

    * Para 19: I don’t intrinsically dislike using sentence fragments mixed in with full sentences. Sometimes they add a great emphasis or a bit of narrative style. However, there was something about the fragment “For whom he waited” that stuck out to me as being not quite as smooth as the rest of the paragraph.

    * Para 21: You might want to consider the order of your last few short sentences in this paragraph: “I studied it. I contemplated it. I dismissed it. I allowed it to challenge me. I let it simmer.” To me, it seems odd that you dismissed it and then let it challenge you. That seems to contradict itself. If anything, the dismissal should be the last thing to be done, unless you add a phrase along the lines of “I dismissed it. I reconsidered.” Just an idea, but it seemed out of order to me as is.

    * Para 22: In this section: “and, or so I thought, my ears didn’t stick out…as much anyway. Not noticeably. So I called her number. And my voice had deepened. After several rings Harriet answered the phone.” You might consider moving the bit about the voice deepening to just before the calling (i.e. move it one sentence earlier). It seems a bit out of place where it is – an afterthought that interrupts the action of the call.

    That's all I've got. Let me know if you have any questions an/or if you want me to run through this another time. If you're happy with it after this, let me know and we can mark it as done on the list of "things to do". Cheers!


  • AnarchistXxXLove
    May 15

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    hmmm pretty good story, well written and congrats for all the trophys this peice has won


  • Carina.J.LR
    May 14

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    hehe..cute..poor guy..guys with ears that stick out are AWESOME!!

    Thanks for entering and goodluck!

    -Carina


  • Foureyess
    May 8
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    lovley story

  • mikhl
    April 4
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    I really enjoyed this story, I see it as one mans persuit of hppieness. =]

    beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • rinzu
    April 2

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    your ears stick out...!!!poor thing... a guy facing rejection for such a trivial deformity...!!!

    I remember the times I used to reject guys with similar silly reasons,none were true of course...!!!!



  • Bethany
    April 1

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    Haha, was that girl really Harriot? After her behavior on the phone it wouldn't be surprising for her to flat out lie.
    It was a very nice story, you are a very good writer.
    Good job =]


  • Tris
    March 28

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    Very good written. Good storyline and awesome characters. Everybody had/will have a Harriet in his/her life!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • easy-to-love
    March 27
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    A lovely story. t touched everyone who ever read it. Great work!

  • Kalee gold member
    March 24

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    Very authentic voice and great use of description. Wonderful subject as so many people relate to unrequited feelings for another person that were never acknowledged with little or no reason.
    The fleeting emotions and thoughts that the main character had from time to time throughout his life regarding Harriet were poignant and yet not overly sweet.  Nicely done. Look forward to reading more of your work.


  • Rinari
    March 22

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    Hey, sorry I didnt comment before, time is a *bleep*. It was awwwwesome! I related to the character because it's just so believable. I think eveyrone's had a Harriet in their life!

    Great work!


  • callthexylophone
    March 20
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    goodness, I've love that picture at the top with this story.
    Time to test the claps!


  • Dr. Metalhead silver member
    March 19

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    Superb

    This is really good, and is very well written. Its good that some people can relate to this. I can think of many girls at my school that remind me of Harriet!
    Good Job!


  • IceIceBaby
    March 18
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    Loved it!!

    Simply fantastic, but I think everyone else has said it all

  • Noah
    March 18

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    touching, charming story

    A very young man's durable infatuation punctured -- but not obliterated --in maturity. A very common story, but poignantly told this time. Bravo!

  • alhirschhorn
    March 18

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    Superb!

    Harriet hit close to home. My ears stick out - always have (they earned me the nickname Dumbo when I was young which bothered me 'til I learned I could fly), I lived in Forest Hills for a period, and I studied and taught in Boston. I didn't know Harriet but I experienced similar feelings and disappointments. I also re-encountered people from my early days in domains in later life.

    Gary (Moroclavian) has a genius for realistically capturing events in REAL settings that actually place the reader in the picture!

    Bravo!!
    Al


  • CrystalTigress
    March 18

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    amazing

    you did a great job with this story. It was a lot more intriguing than the title made it look. It shows that you can still keep the hope and that you shouldn't give up. In a way though i am glad the guy never saw her again. it seemed hariet was quiet the jerk before and being more pretty now might have ruined her even more.

  • gray2020 beard
    March 14

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    Very very good

    Great write. I think there are quite a few of us fellows who carry fond remembrances like this from our younger days.


  • A.N. Alias
    March 14

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    I liked it!

    I like the writing, detailed and layered. It was interesting to read, and I liked where it stopped, even if there could have been more development if you had felt like it.


  • Rorshach gold member
    March 11

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    Interesting

    Reads well. The narrator is a bit smug, but it makes him believable. I liked the fact that nothing really happened as this is how life normally turns out for most people. No spelling/grammer issues but i don't think that is important anyway.


  • ShimmeringMirage
    March 10

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    Harriet seems so nasty he should go for the woman in the stairwell!! This was so amazingly written though, you completely drew me in.


  • SoundInkMusic
    March 8

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    To be honest, I think the redhead in the stairwell is more worthy of his attentions than the real Harriet seems to be - but I found his search for her and the story of his young love to be entertaining nonetheless. You've a talent for weaving in bits and pieces of detail about each of the characters, subtly telling us a bit more about them. I was surprised by how many times she kept showing up in his life - though I imagine he was, too - but it didn't feel like a forced plot device; it felt genuine and believable, and was also, at times, amusing (as when we hear about her fiance's brother). Very nicely done. I'm not usually a fan of romance in general, but you kept my interest nonetheless.


  • Be.Your.Own.Hero
    March 6

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    I'm also glad that I read this, it was very entertaining, there's something about your descriptions..Idk but it's just very in detail, very straightforward and just...amazing. ^^ I really loved this story, the emotions were very strong and everything was just captivating. Great job and keep it up!

    ~*Princess*~

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    March 4

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    Glad I read this. It was an intriguing and well written piece- well deserved of the awards its already won

    I like the style of your writing. noticed a couple small punctuation errors, that is just my 'perfectionist' quality I have and its no big deal lol.

    Great details. Normally, its hard for me to read the longer pieces, but you managed to hold my attention and I enjoyed reading it.

    How sad that Harriet was that way, though. Sounds like a girl I went to school with also that treated everyone kind of rudely. ha.

    I adored at how realistic this was, too, and the fact that it wasn't bogged down in endless, unnecessary detail.

    Great job Look forward to reading more of your work in the future.


  • Rainy.Day.Kisses
    March 3

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    I've seen this story several times, in contests I've entered, but this is the first time I've bothered to read it, and I'm glad I did. It was a different type of love story...or really not a love story at all if you think about it. I really enjoyed it. Oh, and this might sound weird, but I love your vocabulary, and use of it.


  • FearedCries
    March 2
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    I loved this story. Thank you for entering it in my contest.


  • UrbanRealist
    February 27

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    Thanks for the reminder via IM that you sent me - I clicked on this the other day, but was much too tired to read and give a thoughtful comment.

    This is an egaging story of first love and disparity one commonly feels after years of not seeing someone and having assumptions about what they should be like and comparing them with what they are actually like. The autobiographical narrative of this isn't exactly the style of writing I regularly read, but I continued despite my initial reluctance.


  • poetry is soul
    February 26

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    this was good... but i dont think i liked harriet very much... she seemed really stuck up and kind of full of herself. but other than that, i loved the story. there was hope and disappointment, and possibly even a little fear in there... idk, i might be reading too far into it. but good job!


  • Lady Kay
    February 23

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    Wow

    Ok...Another amazing win of applause for Gary Alexander!!!

    i love it. how the heck do you come up with these things?

    If you say it's easy...i'll feel like a COMPLETE idiot...i'm an idiot already... :-)

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • Jennywinnie
    February 19

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    Ahhh... that school boy story is just so sad!

    I love his secret determination!

    It sounds like this girl totally doesn't deserve him.

    Mysterious ending...kind leaves you wondering.

    Great story!

    Good Luck in my contest

  • Raeyle
    February 9
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    This is a pretty cool story. I like how you develop the theme of always in mind but never meeting. For some reason how you wrote it had me thinking that at some point in the future she would meet him and maybe not get together but resolve something.
    Was an interesting progression in the storyline.
    Unfortunately, it does not meet one of the criteria of the comp, which was that the character or characters in the story were either to hate or love valentine's day and then some interference or event or something like that changes their mind.

    Your is indeed an interesting one. However, for the purposes of this comp, I will have to say no.

  • BurntUmber
    January 28

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    I've already commented. I hope you enjoyed my comment. This is a wonderful story, but it didn't QUITE follow my directions. I had hoped for more of a real love story with one, large, overriding flaw, and I didn't quite get that vibe from your story. Truly wonderful job, though!

  • BurntUmber
    January 28
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    Nice job!

    This is a TERRIFIC story!

    I particularly enjoyed the ending, how the main character considers Harriet not obsessively, but from afar.

    I believe that is realistic in the most real sense possible. How sometimes old memories linger. Really great!


  • Wind Goddess
    January 12

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    Poor Gary! Very heartfelt-I enjoyed it, even though romances aren't my thing. I don't think you had a single word misspelled. Good job!


  • Midnight-Engaged
    January 12

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    Very pretty little story you have here! Is it true, by any chance? I couldn't help but notice that you used your own name and one of your former occupations in the story. And I have the feeling that the "Harriet-look-alike" at the ending was not just a look-alike! Very amusing little story you have here.


  • Darkhearted
    January 5
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    very sweet and it really reeled me in.

    Thanks for this magnificen entry,
    cheyenne


  • Someday Hero. gold member
    January 4

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    Simply amazing. I was hooked from start to finish, and darn do I wish he could have seen her one last time. Your work is wonderful, and stunning.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • Empty Closet
    January 3

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    This ia amazing. I was completely hooked from start to finish! Well done, and good luck in my contest! Thanks for entering.


  • GodBlessCatastrophe
    December 19, 2008
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    Oh, sorry, forgot to applaud!

  • GodBlessCatastrophe
    December 19, 2008

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    Now this is what a love story is supposed to be like! Realistic and not ridiculously emotional. My favourite quote would probably be:

    "'You once said my ears stuck out.'

    And she hang up."

    But there are many more brilliant little lines in there. And the overall plot is just brilliant. How close is it to the truth? Is it one of those "inspired by events and characters from a story partially based on a true story" kind of things or is it biographic? It's so good it's hard to believe you actually lived through all of this.

    I also liked the fact that you didn't use a single one of your ellipses, makes for a much smoother reading experience imo.


  • Living.Disaster
    December 14, 2008

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    I was amaed at how you kept my intrest...MY intrest is easy to get but Hard to keep,so Good Job.

    Oh and is you SN in the An because I don't really know.....

    dialog: 5.


  • Cupcake14
    December 7, 2008

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    You didn't read the rules. I'm pretty sure I've commented on this before. But this was a beautiful story anyways, so I dunno, I guess you'll win. But still, you didn't read the rules!


  • YaoiQueen Killa
    November 19, 2008

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    okay

    In all honesty, you lost me in the first paragraph, Sorry, but i did warn you that if you didnt have me in the first paragraph I was out of here, thanks for entering though


  • WaterBottle
    November 19, 2008
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    Okay, now I have enough. LOL

  • WaterBottle
    November 19, 2008

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    Amazing!

    Such a well-written story with great fluidity and description. I pitied the main character Gary, there was so much optimism inside him, thinking he would someday reunite with Harriet, his childhood crush. An innocent obsession.
    That torch he carried for her, it never dimmed. Maybe he was a little unrealisitic, but that happens when someone feels a strong love for a person. It saddened me that things didn't go the way he'd hoped.
    Although, this isn't quite the submission I was looking for...I'm glad you entered and I think you might have a great chance at winning.=)
    (I would give you 3 applauses but I'm broke.)


  • Evil-Beach
    November 18, 2008
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    thats really really really good!!!
    amazing!!!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Lady Eventide Greeters member
    November 17, 2008

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    This is a really wonderful story. I could imagine everything, but I didn't feel overwhelmed by detail. The characters, the setting, everything was so excellently planned out. I see you have several trophies. Very good. I understand why. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • LivingDeadGirl56
    November 16, 2008

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    This was sweet. Harriet sounds like a typical redhead. I loved your descrpitions and the way you transitioned your style through the years. Beautifully written and very innocent.


  • Shimmerfairy
    November 13, 2008

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    Wow this defently was worth reading! What a bitch ole' harriet is though! Sadly enough people are like that even when they're young!
    I think we can all relate in some ways to this story as well; I for one had the major hots for a guy in high school for YEARS- but he didnt even know I existed!
    I love the way you've added in the descriptions of the places he talks about as well, alot the time when people write in first person they only describe feelings and places are often forgotten!
    Great story, Love it!


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    November 8, 2008
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    Hi

    This story is being considered for inclusion in a Storywrite anthology we hope to publish. If you would like this story to be considered, please apply to this group:

    http://storywrite.com/group/info/Storywrite%20Anthology%20Volume%20One?stay=1

    Andy


  • Atticus Unanimous
    November 3, 2008
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    I think Gary definately qualifies for obliviously creepy guy. It was good. The characters were vivid and they complemented the plot and little events perfectly. You do a nice job with flow and imagery. I couldn't find any mistakes that I could remember. Good job.


  • EZlats
    October 25, 2008

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    Just yesterday I read an article on a feminist website (I'm a guy, don't ask me how or why I was on a feminist website) and the article was about guys who follow women around because they love that woman. Essentially, it claimed that the type of men you had in your story are stalkers (though at his initial age Gary might be more of a creeper.) I must admit, I felt like I fell in love with a woman once. Admittedly, I was obbsesed with her. When I found out she didn't like me though, I accepted it. Sure, I also still had intense feelings for her and it felt like my heart was shredded, but I got over it. Gary never seems to get over this girl though. When I read the line, 'What a bitch,' I had already known that. Why is it that Gary doesn't? (Rhetorical question, don't answer it)

    All in all, it was a good story that kept the readers attention really well. It also was perfect for the option you chose. Nice work


  • Celestial Rose
    October 23, 2008

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    Ok, I know its mean but....that picture scares me! I mean, when I first saw it, it freaked me out! *shiver* But anywhoo....I really enjoyed reading this, it was a great story, and quite interesting. I noticed some things were a little mixed up, but come on, who doesn't mess something up?!

  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    October 19, 2008

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    Good Story, Gary!

    p18 but as a resident (without) a support

    I gather that this story is based on actual experience.

    I had a crush on a girl named Candy in grade school. I never spoke to her, but I learned where she lived. One day I followed her when she was in the car with her father and sister. I guess right that they were going to a park where he played golf for a while. I was on my bicycle. I road around them, but I still didn't have the nerve to talk with her. He was transferred to San Antonio, Texas and I never saw her again. I would often ride my bike past her house hoping to see her. Needless to say, your story brought her to mind.

    Thanks for this view into your 'crush' and the trip down memory lane for me.

    Thanks also for entering Exceptional Stories To Be Published - 2.

    Andy


  • Ana-Andrea
    October 10, 2008

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    I see all the trophies you have won for this, and they are more than well deserved! The characters stand excellently. I enjoyed this story very much. It was delightful all the way through with just a little whimsical touch. Imagine a 50-year long unrequited love. And I thought 5 years was bad. It's a lovely story and I'm glad I got to read it.

  • daftweejimmy gold member
    October 9, 2008

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    As I read this, I thought "been there, done that". Sadly, however, The girl of my youthful drerams was encountered in a psychiatric hospital when I was nursing there, and she died soon after, not, I hasten to add as a result of my nursing, but because of the amount of heroin and other nasties she had poisoned herself with; I like your version better!


  • ainshbu
    October 7, 2008

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    i love this story i just hate harriet. its like she never even tried to be nice. and the little boy seems so sweetly desperate its sad.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • funkychica
    October 7, 2008

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    I will admit I was sort of hesitant on reading this. I thought this was well captured in character details. I truly enjoyed it.


  • xXSongxxofxxLifeXx
    October 7, 2008

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    I thought this was simply amazing. It captures every emotion that could possibly come along with love. Going out into public hoping that you might get to see them, but at the same time hoping that you won't for some reason or another. Talk about the story of my life. Very, very good.


  • NinjaJay
    October 5, 2008

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    hey

    i really like this
    this was amazing i enjoyed it alot
    the detail and the descriptiveness
    was amazing (i think i jsut made that word up)
    well i really like the way it was wrote too
    keep it up
    cant wait to read more


  • WhySoSirius
    October 5, 2008

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    That was really something! From the first line on, it pulled me in, as if i I could see Harriet in the flesh, everything from her sneer to her hair. The description was beautifully done, and the message of hope in the end was very inspiring. Although I can't say Harriet is a girl I would be friends with myself, it seems like you captured her character perfectly; the tale of her reappearances over the years flowed flawlessly. Excellent job!


  • Namoopf
    September 30, 2008
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    Wow. That's all I can say. Wowawowawow.


  • hannah37
    September 14, 2008

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    i will say i read it.
    only because the beggining pulled me in so damn deep.
    i said no more than 1500 words... so i'm afraid i can't let you win.
    but let e tell you that was an amazing story.
    thanks for entering my contest.


  • quicksilver moon
    September 7, 2008

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    The story flowed well. I loved the descriptions and the long wait for Harriet. It seemed so realistic too. Poor guy for having ears that stuck out. Now that one was funny . Thanks for entering this story.


  • Kagamine Rin
    August 30, 2008

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    Iloved the description in this story, as well as mood in the atmosphere. I loved the vocabulary, for some words I didn't even know, nor understand. *laughs*

    I loved it! I wish you luck


  • Cheerful-Panda
    August 27, 2008

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    Aww poor Gary!
    I really love the little kid aspect that made me smile.
    I really wish he had seen Harriet again.
    I love your descriptions of everything I pictured the story in my head perfectly.
    Thanks for a good read, and good luck in my contest !

    Miranda


  • Anaya Roma
    August 24, 2008

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    A PERFECT GLIMPSE!

    The way you show how Gary perceives and remembers Harriet throughout the years is very well done! In a sense his childhood vision of Harriet became like dangling a carrot on a stick before a donkey to make him walk and I mean this in a good sense. It's like the proverbial "one who got away" that continues to goad you on.
    Thank you for a good read.
    Anaya Roma

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • sassykitty
    August 23, 2008

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    Fascinating and very well written story. It immediately hooks the reader's attention and successfully maintains it throughout. Excellent and credible characterization makes this literally come alive. It seems to have been a pretty successful piece for you and I hope it continues to work its magic.Great write, thanks for sharing, I did enjoy this.


  • Terry Collett
    August 23, 2008
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    A fascinating story.

    Very fascinating story composed in fine prose.


  • bird-mad girl
    August 22, 2008

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    I really liked the descriptions in this piece. They were added in tastefully and gave the reader flavored imagery throughout the story.

    I also really dug the fact that this piece was stretched over a period of time. It gave a great opportunity to create real history for the characters and watch them develop from childhood to adulthood.

    This was a really touching story.


  • Oddems.
    August 21, 2008

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    This piece was well written and it really caught my attention. You did a wonderful job with wording and emotions. You're a great writer - good job!

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