It was at this pivotal moment that the entire garden held its breath, balancing precariously on the brink of damnation as the snake grinned and Eve --oblivious to what she was about to set in motion-- slowly raised the apple to her mouth.
Author notes
I thought that this moment would make for a good one-sentence story, as it might be considered the most important event to ever have happened. (I'm not Christian and I don't actually believe this really happened, but it's a nice idea from a storytelling perspective.)
A contest entry
- Nano Stories by Embitter.
175 points, ended July 2, 2007, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Chocolate King
the poet in you shines through haha! You cannot disguise it!
Your words are beautiful ^_^ it reminded me a bit of the song "this kiss" (because of "pivotal moment" Not sure if it's part of the lyrics, lol) - but YES, that IS the pivotal moment back when that garden existed. I've always been interested in the story of Adam and Eve - you've shed such a beautiful light on a tale that's been told countless times, that yours become ethereal, in a way
I wish you luck with this contest! ^_^
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I think this was really good! I don't know if I'm Cristian, so I don't think it really happened nessisarily, but I liked reading things like this
I loved your vocabulary here!
Good luck in the contest
xoxo
Tay -
Wah! I feel so sorry for them both.. And .. Lucifer,too.. I mean.. I really do have sympathy for them.
Hey, you should extend this maybe.. and enter it in my other Songs contest. You could use the lyrics to Adam's Apple for inspiration.. =) .. I have a feeling you'd have a good shot at a trohpy.. and .. it's big points. -
ooh...i loved this. I'm religious and i believe its true...maybe thats why i like it..anyway..it was nicely written. i like then tension and suspense put into it great job.
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