Once this was a mighty metropolis- its streets swarmed with people of every age, every race, every religion…
Life thrived here- love thrived here- money was made here.
Now, it is a tomb.
And it was very nearly MY tomb, too.
It was a year ago now when it happened. A year ago exactly, to the day. The anniversary, if you like. It’s still as clear as day in my mind……
People had been whispering for some time about something. Nobody really seemed to know what that ‘something’ was, but they all agreed that there was definitely a strange feeling in the air. That strange feeling turned out to be deadly.
We all know that medical science makes new discoveries nearly every day. They advance in leaps and bounds each year. Many diseases can now be cured. Millions of lives are saved thanks to those men in white coats. But they kill people too.
Biological weapons have always been things that are kept hush-hush. They aren’t really talked about. Those same scientists also work on developing new ways to murder whole countries. Our town had become a testing ground.
The big factory on the hill had become a medical testing facility. We didn’t know it at the time, but they had taken several inmates from the prison a few miles away, and were using them as test subjects. At first it was just small things: injections of minor irritants, things like that. Soon, though, they got greedy. Promises of bigger government grants got the better of them, and they agreed to start researching more and more dangerous substances.
The problems started when one of the ‘subjects’ escaped. He was a man in his mid-thirties, with long dirty-blond hair. He took to walking up and down the town centre every day. At first, nobody thought anything of it. At this point, we knew nothing of what was happening in the old factory. We all just took him to be crazy. Crazy, but harmless.
Gradually, people began to fall ill. They all had similar symptoms, including a fever, nausea and bouts of dementia. The government said they would investigate the matter when over half the town became ill. They sent people down to test the water in the river, and said they found nothing. Of course, they knew what had happened, but weren’t likely to admit it. The one inmate who had escaped had passed on a new and deadly virus to half the town already, and the other half were soon to follow. Survival rates were not too good. About 75% of people with the infection died. The town was in a panic. Nobody knew what was causing the outbreak, and nobody knew how to cure it either.
Eventually, a small group of men had a breakthrough. They had heard rumour of strange goings on at the factory, and planned a night raid. They managed to kidnap one of the scientists in the lab. They forced the truth out of him. And the truth turned out to be worse than anybody could have imagined.
This infection was not airborne. It was not transmitted through close contact. And there were no germs to pass on. It was transmitted through THOUGHT!
Anybody who saw someone suffering from the infection would obviously feel upset and disturbed. Add this to the fact that we hadn’t got a clue what had caused this, and that the mortality rate was slowly creeping higher and higher, and you have the perfect recipe for fear. Which was exactly what transmitted the infection.
In the end, the government had to admit their mistake. The town was sectioned off, and most of the inhabitants shipped off to various asylums across the country. The staff there were not told of the nature of the dementia. That would have caused it to spread. Instead, the patients were left drugged and confused, and eventually died. Some people were lucky though. Some of us only became carriers. We are infected, but it is dormant. For some reason, it lies sleeping in a few of us.
Maybe we were too strong for it. Maybe it had weakened before it got to us. Who knows? So don’t pity me now, as I sit here and tell my story. I was one of the lucky ones you see. I have a new home now, with a nice view. I can see our old town, as life slowly begins to drip back into it. I’m looked after here. I get three meals a day, and all the coffee I can drink.
I go outside now and then. I’m in the garden now, as I write this. I can see the town. The river that runs through it is clean for the first time in a thousand years- fish swim again in waters they abandoned centuries ago- ducks nest in the rusting hulks of boats scuttled by neglect. Life DID prevail in one sense I suppose.
I have to go now. The nurse needs me back in my room. It’s nearly eight o’clock. That’s when I always start to feel a bit strange. But they make me wear a special jacket, just so as I can’t hurt myself when the dementia strikes.
I will never leave this place, I know that. But it’s for the best. They don’t let me think about things for too long, they put me to sleep until it all goes away. It’s dangerous you see. If I think about it too long, I might get scared. And if I get scared…… well, who knows.
Author notes
I used a couple of parts of your description of the city to add to the story. I hope that is OK?
In a list
A contest entry
- Enter The City Of The Dead by necronomijon.
350 points, ended July 11, 2007, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Asylum Worlds by Oleander.
250 points, ended September 28, 2007, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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well, you dont need ME to proclaim it anymore than everyone else has. this was great.
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This is an awesome story with a creative plot. You really captured my intruige. It's very inspirational, thanks for entering.
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wow
I really liked it. You just have to describe some events in the middle of the story as well, not only the end. Other wise. Good work. -
On Don't be Scared
Well, Xfallen, what dreaded thoughts for a young lady to have. Excellent piece of work. Came over like a letter to a long lost friend. I used to be a member of C.N.D. many moons ago, so I could feel the horror in your writing. Nice approach to the cause and very original, thought, mmmm, yes very original. You have a good imagination. I enjoyed it. Thanks.beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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Thank you so much for the great comment!
Im glad you enjoyed the piece. I loved that you felt the tone was of a letter, as that is the original idea I had for the piece!
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Excellent again!
I don't really find a fault with this, it is very well written, enjoyable to read, with an ironic twist at the end. I wondered whether the narrator was insane or telling a true tale. I would have liked to have seen some dialogue. Good dialogue makes a story for me. Anyway, Congratulations on the Silver. At this rate you should stack up a bunch of trophies.
Andy
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Woah...
Hey Fallen, I love it. To me, it reminds me of sitting around in a huddled corner listening to the teenagers scary stories trying not to gasp or cover my eyes, as if it'd help. Plan on reading a lot more of your work.
P.S. Plus I absolutely adore maniacal characters ... they make my heart happy ... >.<
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I love stories that have an insane character. It would be scary to be infected by disease simply by fearing someone... especially because it is so common to fear people...
Very good job and good luck in the contest! -
very cool
I really enjoyed this story... Lots of vivid imagery and a ton of details allowed me to be there with you throughout. I like your way of telling stories, and It reminds me of my grandmother. She was a master storyteller. SMILES---looking forward to many more ...beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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wow.....i loved the ending...it was so unexpected!!! wow.....this was awesome!!! great job!!!!
all i can say is that the background is a lil too bright......i hurt my eyes
nehoo......great story!!!!
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amazing
very very interesting.. i myself wrote a poem like this once, it wasn't as dark, or as believable. it was about revenge, actually, but in the end the narrator says "i have to go, the lady is coming in with my food, and to check my straight-jacket, so that i can't hurt myself" or something like that very similar in idea, though very beautifully different. i loved reading this, it hit home for me. thank you for the wonderful comment on my story as well, it's encouraging to see a thoughtful response. thank you and great job!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I like this alot. I can picture the poor man (or woman) who's writing this and still really cant see the whole picture that they are in a hospital. Very dark.
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Transmitted by thought... that made me shudder. No probs at all for using bits of the original description- I'm flattered you used them at all!
Good story- here's hoping the rest are to the same calibre!
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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