Reverie

"What the hell am I doing here?" I mumbled to myself. Maybe I looked crazy, sitting there talking to myself, alone. Thirteen years old, alone, sitting on the cold, dirty curb, alone. 1

I rested my head into my hands and closed my exhausted, stinging eyes. At the moment, the only sense being used were my ears, very elaborately decorated and able to pick up the most hushed whisper. I listened to the hustle and bustle of the street. Car tires swishing by on the wet pavement, various footsteps wandering across the sidewalk. I picked up on a few pointless conversations here and there..some even about me. 2

Then I realized that I definately stood out. I was wearing a pale grey Volcom shirt with black Soffe shorts on, rolled up to make them shorter. Blue and white, dirt-covered Vans covered my feet. My skin was kind of tan with freckles scattered randomly. Three on my arm looked exactly like Orion's belt. Man, did I ever love those freckles. My hair was made of golden-strawberry curls, which were now tumbling half-way down my back and across my bare arms. I was also alone. How I hate that word. ALONE. Let me explain. No one else was with me, sitting next to me with their head in their hands, or chatting with me about the first thing that comes to mind. Or even hugging me, holding me, leading me away from the curb and to somewhere beautiful and calm..somewhere serene.3

Nope..none of that. I was alone. Pathetic, eh? A thirteen-year old should be surrounded by 9 other screaming and giggling friends. You'd like to think that anyway. People change faster now, so all my friends had things to do, and I was always more of the artistic one anyway, and sports weren't really a thrill anymore. I've been said to have a Gothic soul, but a shell that could take everything and couldn't get enough of any kind of fun. Sitting alone on a curb cannot be fun for a single human being, no matter how bland they like their food or how slow drive their car or how many risks they don't take because they're not sure of the outcome. Sitting on a curb is simply boring.4

I have to add..that I suffer from severe ennui, which was starting to kick in, and very strongly at that. I lifted my head and stood up, brushed the pebbles from myself and started walking towards the mall entrance. I passed a group of older guys, maybe two or three years at the most. Knowing that they saw me, I glared at them as I was "checked out". A few smiled but I stopped looking and stared straight ahead. 5

"Here we go," I thought. "another group of losers to gawk at me."6

You see, I'm strangely lucky enough to have kept up an hourglass body. I never thought that it was important until I heard that every guy loves an hourglass body, which is extremely shallow if that's all you're looking for. It's tough to keep it all hour-glassy though, so that's the downside. My abs are developing nicely, and my arms are quite toned. My chest is medium, but still growing. I think I like my face the most. My lips are kind of plump and light pink, and my nose is round and freckles are spread from the bridge to my hairline and are faint, but visible. My eyes are blue, green and grey. I do adore my eyes. My ears are small and have metal all over, but they look nice, and I love small ears, I have strange fascinations. I've been told I should become a model. It pays a lot, but it's too superficial for my liking.7

So that is what those guys saw. Not my deep, passionate soul, but my shell. Assholes. 8

I swiftly made it to the glass doors. Windows to a Dreamland for the more materialistic folk. To me they're glass doors, doors to some kind of interesting situation, or creation and bliss, if it's a craft store or book/music store or something like that. 9

I made my way through and walked along the scuffed, creme tile, experiencing the same humdrum setting as always for the entrance. Irksome music played in the background, how typical. Crappy music is a must-have for malls. 10

Studying the setting I saw some girls my own age and older with expensive purses, such as Gucci and Coach and Burberry and the rest. Who would waste money on a bag? Preppy, materialistic, wealthy girls could care less about people in third-world countries that would die for a quarter so that they can buy a loaf of bread or a leg of lamb for their starving and dying families.11

There were also the middle-class families, like mine, the average mall-goers. 12

Some people were dressed up in their Abercrombie & Fitch, personally I think that store promotes prostitution and their clothes scream "I'M STUPID, SLUTTY, ARROGANT AND PROUD" and "RAPE ME, PLEASE!" for the girls, and "LOOK I'M HOT! NOW DO ME!" and "I'M SHALLOW..BUT LOOK AT HOW SEXY I AM! DO ME!" for the guys. That's just me though. There were the Hot Topic kids..who all try to be different but there are an awful lot of them these days. Bondage and chains and band shirts and such, I like the style, very non-conformist and anarchist, but I really don't feel like dressing that way. I do LOVE those combat boots though. You have your random "gangstas" who shop at Demo, and then the skaters and surfers, like myself I guess, that shop at PacSun and Journeys. 13

Other stores and labels thrived in the sea of bodies, but I did not care to pay any more attention. I needed to find excitement. It seemed like hours passed by..although I know they didn't, when I finally heard that catchy little ring on my cell phone. I looked at the ID and immediately recognized the area code, so far away, but not the number. I knew who it was though since only they would call me and I picked up before the ring was half-over.14

"Hello?" I chirped, pretending to not know who it was.15

"Hey babe! I can't talk for long, go to Macy's though, k?"16

"Umm..ok.." I said, not even realizing that my boyfriend couldn't possibly know that I was at the mall since he lives STATES away.17

"Ok!!" he sounded overjoyed. "I love you, and you love me too, bye"18

Click. He was gone.19

"Damn, he was in a hurry," I said out loud. "and why Macy's?" Some people glanced over at me, but I ignored it, I talk to myself all the time, who cares? Then it dawned on me that maybe he was actually here! In the same state! The same BUILDING! But neither of us shops at Macy's..wait..who the fuck cares where it is?! 20

I practically ran through the mall, suddenly nervous to see him. Nervous to see my own boyfriend..jeez. 21

"It's Justin! Come on..he's the most gentle, sweet, loving and caring guy on Earth, this is your boyfriend and you've gotta get to him..no time to be nervous!" I reassured myself, this time in my head.22

I finally made it to Macy's, my heart pounding out of my chest, it was the only sound I could pick up. I searched for him, which took seconds. 23

There he was, Justin..my boyfriend..my one and only..the guy I am truly in love with..the piece to complete me. Damn good-looking he is, tall and strong. I'm short next to him, but he thinks it's cute..and hilarious. He looked great in anything, especially now, he's more of a skater/punk. 24

His hair was dark chocolate brown, amazing face, great body, and unbelievably gorgeous blue eyes that no one else on Earth could even compare to. He was funny, passionate and caring..loved me with every fiber of his being and certainly showed it. Wow, and now I'm with him.25

"Hey there," he said nonchalantly. "you know how be both needed to be with each other..the pain unbearable and all that..well..here I am."26

I was almost speechless, and couldn't stop smiling, but I managed to get out, "You're truly amazing..you know."27

He grinned and blushed a bit, he almost never smiles, and I made him grin.28

He came closer and wrapped his arms around me, pressing me to his chest.29

"I am so in love with you," he whispered as he looked down at me.30

"I feel the same," I replied, but then wanted to kick myself because I thought that was a stupid way to say it, though he grinned again, and I laughed a little.31

Then he moved in for a kiss, which caught me by surprise but I went and kissed him back, it lasted longer than a normal first-kiss for a couple, but my heart glowed and fluttered and I put one hand around his neck and another draped across his back, hoping to add to the moment.32

He pulled me even closer, both hands holding tightly onto my waist.33

Spectacular.34

"I love you," he said.35

"I love you too."36

We sat on a random bench and talked for a while. Real talking..heart-to-heart. About everything.37

I can tell him the world and every emotion and problem and flaw and he'll always have something to say, some way to cheer me up, and he'll still love me. 38

I love him eternally.39

He got up and grabbed my hand, then put his arms, strong, loving arms, around me and kissed my forehead. The perfect image of love.40

Nothing was said, we just walked out of the mall, out of the boredom and excitement, the music faded and I laughed at the staring, envying faces. The sun started to set and any thought of my getting home any time soon was gone. I'd bring him with me anyway. 41

Pure bliss took over and I..42

..regained consciousness..43

I closed my eyes, no use, and opened them as tears formed. Lost in emotion I silently weeped, I need him here badly..44

one day..45

Such a horribly beautiful reverie..46