Cara, a bright and beautiful young woman, lay there on her bed just like so many nights ago. Her long, red hair was a mess and was sticking to her face as the tears came falling.
It had been six months since that night she cried over Kavan. It had been six months since she had even thought of him. Now, she was back in that same bed, crying.
This time was different though. This time Kavan didn't have much to do with it. Actually, he had nothing to do with it. This was the first time in so long Cara had cried over a boy that wasn't him. This boy had fixed her heart where Kavan had broken it so many times before.
Galen was different; he was odd. He was shy and quiet; skinny and awkward, yet blond and beautiful. He had eyes that pierced the heart; eyes that could never be forgotten. The moment she looked into those amber eyes, she knew she would be his. Although he was a man of few words, he spoke of great things. He was very intelligent and had big dreams. Not many people got passed the outward geek. Oh, but Cara did.
~~~
The first night they met, they hit it off. It was a party thrown by a mutual friend. Somewhere in the midst of the games and friends, a passion grew between them. They gallivanted all through the night; giggling and acting like teenagers. Flirtatious as they were, they never spoken of it for they were both shy when it came to the opposite sex.
There was something that would never die.
~~~
That was two years ago. Back when she was only fourteen. Now she was sixteen and screwed everything thing up.
"Figures," she gasped through sobs, talking to no one but the walls. "I always mess things up. I'm so incompetent." From there, she bashed herself and slung nasty words and phrases that bounced off the walls until she fell into a pitiful sleep.
As she dreamed, she remembered. She remembered the way Galen said her name and the way he made her feel good about herself. She remembered the way his hand fit so perfectly with hers. His beautiful blue eyes and perfectly shaped lips haunted her dreams.
She tossed and turned just as she began to remember the downward spiral she somehow managed to get trapped into.
~~~
"I want to drink. I want to experience it. I want to experience sex for the first time. I need to do something other than this. I can't go on like this. I want something for me. I want to put myself first for once. Screw everyone else," she had said to her friend one night. They had been talking about sex, drinking, family, and everything in between.
Then came that party. It wasn't anything like the party Cara had met Galen at. This party was a typical teenager drugs and alcohol party. This was the night she screwed up.
~~~
Blurred visions and slight memories spun around in Cara's head as she thrashed about on her bed. Sobbing and whimpering, she wanted it to stop. She didn't want to remember anymore. She just wanted Galen back. She just wanted to go back in time and put that drink down, stay with Galen, hold his hand and never let go. She wanted to go back to that horrid night and fix it; erase the fight; erase the other boy; erase the disease. This disease of being a screw up, this disease of letting go, this disease of being pregnant.
Author notes
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but this is absolutely fictional and although some characteristics of Cara are based on myself, this chapter is just a late night write.
Option 2 - Depression.
A contest entry
- Fandi Contest I - Options by Asfand.
225 points, ended July 10, 2007, 42 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
I liked it, I think it would've been better if you described the night in more details. We know how Cara felt but did the other guy have feelings for her, or were they just drunk? You left me off at a good cliff hanger though. I guess I'll have to read the third chapter (oh darn! Just kidding!) I like your writing style. Good job.
*Frozen Angel* -
Still here, I found it lacking in description.
Kavan is definetly a strange part of the story, he was kind of random.
I guess to someone who made a mistake and wants to take it back one would consider the fact of becoming pregnant would be a disease, but Cara has such a pessamistic point of view that she is allowing herself to be used by others, that point really saddened me.
Of course, this is all just personal opinion.
But what I am trying to say, is maybe you should incorporate later on, a change in her life, something that gives her hope, a joy, and a reason to go on.
Just some idea's.
Good job though, you have some good idea's going.
-
-
As I told Asfand, Kavan is important, just not right now. It's a small part in this chapter just so you guys keep him the back of your minds. The next few chapters are in my head and ready, they just need to put down on here. Again, I'll go back and add description.
Thanks for the feedback =]
-
-
Depression......absolute depression......i loved the ending, it was very unexpected....i thought she had her heart broken or somehting, but no.......
love the fact that this is a VERY unique story....as in I haven't seen any such ideas on SW before........
i thought it was very well-written, i find this very sad.......i loved the way you brought flash backs and the last four lines are simply pro-writes......
beautiful!!!
CRITICISM
well......this isn't soemthing critical, but i don't like reading about pregnancy, sex, drugs the lot.....but of course, your story only touched these things.......
OH GOD!!! i can't find anything to criticize!!!
only ....that bringing the character of Keven into the story was absolutely unneccesary, its odd....the story has nothing to do with him.......i want some charcter sketches......blonde and red hair won't do, the eyes, the lips, the figures, the voices.....where is it all!!!
RUDY BRILLIANT!!!
loved the fact that its unique and not overdone at all.....you're writing about depression and its all there......
well......gud luk......
CHEERS!!!!
-
-
Thanks for the awesome reply. The story has a lot to do with him, it just hasn't shown yet. I've got a lot of the story planned out. I promise, he's important. I know in this chapter he's nothing major, but I don't want my readers to forget about him =]
-
-
Oh my gosh! I totally love the ending! Oh my gosh! I sound like a white girl!
Anyway, I really liked how you portrayed so many feelings and how the actions lead up to the ending. VERY GOOD!!
-
-
Lol. I'm glad you like it. There's going to more too!! =]
-
-
*squeals* I can't wait!! ^__^
Message me when you post it up? I'll be sure to rush there right away! ^_^ -
-
three is up =]
-
-
*squeals* YAY!! Thank you for telling me
-
-
-
-
-
Whoa, I really want to know where this is going. If you make this a series, I know it's going to be popular. I was drawn in right away by the fact that his name's Kavan, because mine's Kevan and that's what I thought it said at first, lol.
This was actual really good and realistic so I do hope you continue. Keep it up!
~Kevan!~
-
-
Thanks. I actually looked up all the names for my characters. They're all Celtic/Gaelic.
I'm glad you like it. This is actually part two. I just haven't changed the title yet. I promise, there's going to be more. =]
~~~Another Sad Song~~~
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
