She stood in front of a mirror, looking at herself. She didn't cry, but she hardly seemed real either. She reached out with her hand and traced her reflection. She wore her new graduation dress, one that hadn't been worn before. She sighed and closed her eyes. Taking a step back, she imgained her graduation night. But more, she imagined him.1
"I've known you since I came to this school in grade one," she whispered as if she was talking to him, "and even then, I felt invisible. In grade two, you stole my heart. You took it and never gave it back to me. In grade three, I forgot about you, and in grade four...well, I don't remember. But you were there for me in grade five, all the way to now. You were always there. I counted on you. What I don't get is how through everything we've been through, we can still just be friends. Friends without any rules. Because if we had some rules, you probably still wouldn't have my heart without you knowing it, and I wouldn't be standing here."2
Her eyes flickered open. She was doing it. She wasn't in front of the mirror anymore. She was standing in front of him with tears streaming down her face. 3
She took a deep breath and said, "I don't want to be just friends. I don't care if you're going to another highschool and we have a long summer in front of us. I just thought I should tell you...I like you. I really like you. You're the first guy I look for when I walk into a room, and I've memorized every moment with you, like you. I get all nervous around you, talk a mile a minute, don't make sense sometimes either, but it's really your fault."4
She closed her eyes again, imagining what she said in front of that mirror. What she was dying to tell him. 5
She whispered, wondering if he was still there, "I don't know how else to do this. I just need to know, do...if I had asked you to grad, would you have said yes or no?"6
"Yes," he murmered. 7
She hadn't prepared herself for this. He was really close to her now. She'd practice her speech for if he'd said no. She blinked and stared at him. 8
He murmered, "God, yes. I thought I was invisible to you. Like nothing I'd ever do would be good enough. But apparently, we both keep secrets from our friends."9
He leaned in and gave her that awkward elementary school kiss.10
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♥xoxo
Author notes
Well, okay, so I've actually stood in front of a mirror, imagining that I was telling someone something I've been keeping in. I've actually never once told anyone my little speechs. But this was basically like a daydream I had. Something I kind of wish would happen, but it so won't, you know?
Anyways, there's not much else I can say about this story. Just that I hope I can manage to finally speak my mind to this one certain guy...without having my friends make fun of me, or everyone knowing...
erica-♥->
CONTEST NOTE:
This is for whichcraft's contest.
I think this story should've won gold or even silver because it's a story that seemed to relate to a lot of people. (see comments below) I just feel that even though it's a short story, and all, it kind of makes people go 'yeah, I know how that feels'. I don't know if this is exactly what you meant by us telling you why we think our story should've won gold or silver. But I just think that that's the main reason this story should've won. It seems to relate to a lot of people, the talking in front of the mirror, expecting the person to reject you.
I hope that's what you were looking for. I love your contest by the way. It's so cool, like getting a second chance to prove yourself.
Awes♥me.
erica♥
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything by SpunkyPunky.
225 points, ended July 17, 2007, 45 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Bronze Trophy Contest by whichcraft.
300 points, ended December 9, 2007, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Wow!
How romantic! the title was the thing that drew me in,and as soon as i read the first paragraph,i said "i'm gonna love this one!".What i'm wondering is,if i should tell this special guy the same thing.except ofcourse we just met this year,and i think he knows pretty darn well.ugh.forget lack of courage,right? lol,but this seriously was a very well-written story.The ending caught me off guard,and made me smile.Congratulations on the bronze and silver,maybe next time you'll earn gold.
Good job!beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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AWW! That was so cute! Well done! I think that this sentence: "I get all nervous around" is not completelely finished so just check that, but otherwise it's awesome!
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Thanks. I'll look at that.
erica♥xoxo
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Aww it was so sweet. I almost always practice in front of the mirror when I want to tell someone something. But then when I'm about to actually say it I forget all of my practice lol.
Anyways, good story -
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Haha, same here.
thanks,
erica♥xoxo
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Awwwwwwww. So cute. Very well written. The events are cute but not cheesy and the story is the perfect length. It ends just where it needs to. Good job!
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Thank you. I'm glad you like it.
erica♥xoxo
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so cute, so special and emotional and just a nice read .. written wonderfull
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thank youuu!!!
erica♥XOXO
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Aw, this is beautiful, romantic, and cutely sweet! I love it, nice job
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thank you soo much!
erica♥xoxo!
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awwwww this is so sweet. It really made my day. Can I keep it in a document on my computer so I can read it whenever I need it...
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yuss. you can keep it on your computer to read it whenever you feel like it.
thanks,
erica♥xoxo!!
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Omg I love this this cant be described except perfect.
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Thanks you.
erica♥xoxo
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This was very cute and very romantic. Super good job!
RtheO
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Thank you!
erica♥xoxo
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Well...like...ah...er...like...
Nice sentiment...but watch the writing. For example, paragraph 4 third line has the word "like" in it several times. 4 times in one line to be exact. This may be ok in street talk...casual conversation (it really isn't)...but it doesn't belong in a written story...unless you're satirizing! The word "like" is being terribly overused these days...and quite meaningless. Don't saturate your stories with it. And no need to be so tedious with: "grade, one, grade two, grade three, grade four, etc." Find a better way to say this.
Also stay away from cliches...at least get to be aware of them. Words and phrases such as: "tears STREAMING" down one's face..."Dying" to tell him.
Otherwise, you have a good germ of a story here...like...broaden it! (lol!)
GA
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Thanks for your input. I realize what you said, and I'll have to fix some of those 'Likes'. I didn't realize I was doing it until you pointed it out.
erica♥XOXO
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Aww, this was really sweet! Really and truly. Hope you finally tell him how you feel! He would be lucky to say yes, and completely INSANE, to say no.
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Haha. thanks. actually, i did tell him how i felt, and it was like a huge relief. he said he didn't like me like that, and well, thanks for saying he was completely insane. but now, i'm glad he said that. we're still friends now, and i like it like that. he's a great guy. AND he's coming to my highschool next year! yay! (his dad works at this other highschool, but he HATES it. lucky me)
erica♥xoxo
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Aww...It's soo prettty!!!!!! Great job in the contests. You deserved it. (I loved the last part)
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thanks.
erica♥xoxo
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WOW!!!
this is my new favorite story!! I wish I could copy it and put it on my profile or something!! I enjoyed this so much, I can't believe you haven't won a gold for this yet...Anyway great job! I really loved this. ♥
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Thank you soo much. That means the world to me. I'm really glad you liked it so much.
erica♥XOXO
ps.
If you really did want to put it on your profile, you could. Although, I think it's a bit long for that.
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I agree that the story relates to a lot of people. I like the fact that you captured an awkward moment of the earliest part of school. If this was my daughter, I would reprimand her for even kissing a guy at her age, but I understand where the emotions are coming from. Nice work.
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Thank you soooooo muccchhhh. For the compliment anndd the silver. I was like woah. Anyway, thannnkk youu.
you rule my world.
erica♥XOXO
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This was cute. I think that it got a little disjointed after he told her that he felt the same way. Awkward elementary school kiss? That confused me. Are you saying that he kissed her like they were still in elementary school?
But, anyway, you conveyed how special it feels to have someone like you the way that you like them. And that's always fun to read -
i've done the same thing..this was really well written, i especially love how the story changes from her in front of the mirror to where she's at grad.♥very beautiful and real story..
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s.e.
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thanks. i'm glad you like it. actually, I'm always glad when you like my stuff.
-e♥
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I totally always make up speeches in my head, but normally they are angry rants I would like to yell at people but never have the courage to do so.
Cute story.
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its so cute and i've done the same thing. i hope one day you do get to say one of ur speeches. good job and good luck.
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Aw this was very sweet, and could actually happen..Or well, It DOES, Is what I mran.
Great job, Lots of emotion. -
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haha, thanks.
peace&&lovaa-♥->
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I liked this because the emotion was very real. It is terrifying to actually admit to someone that you have feelings for them (trust me), but if they like you back, the happiness is incredible! And it's true, how you always expect them to say, 'No, I don't like you back.'
Don't worry about what other people think, and if you ask him not to, I'm sure he won't tell anyone else. That is, unless he's a total jerk which I hope he's not!
Good luck. I know it's hard, but hang in there; it could turn out wonderful for you!
Thank you for sharing such a truthful piece, and I wish it was longer and there was more about the characters!
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Thanks. Means a lot.
And I was thinking of re-doing this with more character background, but then I was like, "Short and sweet". Random, I know.
Anyways, thanks for the advice too.
imtryingtogetenoughcourageforwheniseehimontuesday!-♥->
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