It’s night. Car headlights flash over us like strobe lights. The air is pure and clean, and every breath I take feels like confession, a release of some empty feeling. Tyson is talking about something, I’m not sure what. I’m just watching his animated face dance with his words. His hazel eyes, so dark under the streetlights, light up as they remember something funny that happened earlier. His dirty blond hair flops forward over his face, and I want to reach up and push it back for him. He moves his hand up over his cheek to scratch his nose and all I can think of is how I wish I could be that hand.
“Adam?” His voice comes back slowly, drifting in like the shore at summer. “Adam?” He calls my name again. He’s giving me a weird look. I can tell I’ve been staring at him, and he can too. Somehow, I don’t care anymore.
My hand dances along his arm, up to his shoulder, to his neck, landing on his cheek. My other fingers find his, and snake around them. He looks confused, as if he doesn’t know quite what to do. So I lean in, letting my tangled-up fears go to absolution. I press my lips against his, moving my hand round to the back of his head.
And at last, I have him.
***
After a second, I feel him start to lean into me as he returns the kiss. It’s messy, nervous, but it feels so good to have our tongues entangled. He smells of biological washing powder and baking bread. It’s a beautiful smell, and it reminds me of all the summers we spent at his house as kids, back when things were simple. Back when I could keep how I felt about him buried deep down.
A moment later, our lips break apart. I feel Tyson’s breath, hot on my face, and I dip my head into his. My curly brown hair that never grows to the right length brushes against his forehead. He seems to remember himself slightly.
“Look, Adam…” he says, turning his head away from mine and twisting his hand out of my grip, “I…” There goes my heart.
“Don’t,” I say, stepping back from him, “I get it. You’re straight. It won’t work. Can’t. I’m an idiot for even trying.” I twist around and start to walk away. He doesn’t call after me. I know that if I were him, I wouldn’t have either. But part of me still wishes that he could’ve done something.
Author notes
So, yeah... this is a thing I wrote a while ago and recently rediscovered. I decided it was good and I should continue it. So, yeah. Here it is.
I'm still trying with Kooka. Honest.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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i love the description used when you speak of the hands twisting and even the yearning to be his own that reaches his cheek.
i also love how it ends. the not so fairytale ending but can they still be friends? hmmm. i think that they could...
and man tyson handled something that he didnt feel so well. most guys would just freak. but kudos to him for being a real man! -
ooohhh!
i love it! short, to the point and oh so descriptive. you should really continue this, it has amazing potential. though on the other hand, its pretty damn perfect as it is, so if you leave it, still awesome! -
OOOoooOooOOooO! XD I think it's SEXY. I find "there goes my heart" particularly touching. ^_^ And there's NOTHING wrong with the name Tyson.
beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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this was written well... slow, emotional and almost romantic even though he didnt like him back. lol anyway... yes i am not much into the guy/guy thing either but this was still written well and flowed beautifully. well done! =]
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hmmmm..lol
Well It's a good story. I'm not really into the Guy/Guy thing. But I gotta give you props on an excellent story. A little too romantic for me, but yet again, the storyline was driven.
Good job! Keep up the good work. I would work in a girl, jealousy makes for good stories. tee hee.
See ya,
Sango87
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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You use the word "continue" in your comments...I, however, would suggest more up front...preceding the story...which i see more as a rather powerful climax/conclusion...to whatever you decide to use as a prequel (and without disclosing either the sex of your protagonist...or if you do disclose that...his feelings for Tyson. THIS...to me, would make a strong tale. As it is, what you have is just a sketch...a segment. No suspense...no build up...no real reader involvement. I might also say, please, it IS a little TOO flowery and "writery" if I may invent a new word here. Well written...obviously you have talent and a feel for the language...but, still, it's a little too much!
Best,
Gary
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i'm glad ur still trying with kooka but i also really like this. I've already read the next part first. lol i like goin backwards and i can't wait for more.
this is good. keep it up. i'll be keepin an eye out for kooka as well.
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This is very good I agree with SB and ohmy though, Tyson doesn't fit him (even though i like the name) I love how well you used smell win the descriptions.
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Very well done. Excellent emotion in this piece. Perfect sense of development and dialogue. This story is not my cup of tea, but you are a gifted writer. This is a perfect example of this. Nice work!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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ooooo.
good going. =)
Though there are two main types of stories I've seen with a first kiss between in a mxm situation; a run away style thing (exactly like this) or a omg, I've always loved you.
So it gets kinda boring seeing another one of those types -.- though i do hate the other type more.
(not that I hate yours, i really liked this and I'll continue to see if there's anymore)
Oh.
'' Tyson??????????
Why did you choose that name? x.x it sort of ruined the moment.. ''
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IF YOU SHORTEN IT TO TY IT IS ONE OF THE CUTEST NAMES OVER.
Rant over =) -
Tyson??????????
Why did you choose that name? x.x it sort of ruined the moment.. but your writing is just so good your story was redeemed with your words.
You are poetic. The way you string sentences togehter and make characters come alive.. wow.. I love this day - today I've read a couple of great stories, this being one of them
You use senses a lot.. I love how the scent of smell was used here, since it IS a powerful scent - moreso than most people realize 
I am so glad I read this
Go work on this AND koooka!!!
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Yeah, that's an odd thing about me.
Well, one of many odd things about me.
I've noticed recently that my dominant senses seem to be sound and smell. They're the ones that seem to inspire most memories, trigger most thoughts.
Or maybe I just think things over too much.
I dunno.
Anyhoo. Thanks for commenting, sodiez. Lovez yeww.
XO.
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Great job
a few mistakes, but they've already been pointed out.
Continue writing, you do a great job! -
My curly brown hair that never grows to the right length brushes against his forehead. ...comma after hair and length
But part of me still wishes that he could’ve done something. ... take the But out so my eyes stop twitching
Once again, I love the imagery and emotions that you put into your works...I like where this is going. It's a good start to a piece I hope you continue. -
Dialogue works great. There's a bit of awkwardness in the beginning and the paragraph structure is off a bit but easily fixed.
Hate to say it but Tyson ain't straight (I know that's bad English) anyway continue and let me know when there's more. -
ooooooooooooh this is absolutely great love it
~*~goth&sweet - Bo~*~
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Hmm. Despite popular belief, I do not hate slash stories. I am, after all, bi. That aside, this seems like a good start to a good story. I'll read chapter 1 here in a moment and I think I'll be impressed with it as well. Good job so far, and keep working on Kooka.
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