The red flame on the ground seemed to dance with every movement of the earth. A light breeze, or her breath would send it flying to the right or left. When a squirrel jumped down from a tree the fire seemed to grow wanting to consume the tree and the small animal. It wove across the dead grass constantly growing in size as the red wave traveled to some unknown destination.1
Fire was a dangerously mesmerizing substance. She could stare at it forever thinking about the damage it could do to anything, and everything. The only element that could truly tame it was water. Air carried it, and the earth fueled it.2
Calla liked to think that she was fire. She wanted to be something wild and fully untamed. Something that could destroy anything that stood in its way. She wanted to destroy the world, and him. He was all Calla wanted to end. He was the water the only thing that could tame her. 3
The earth in her life, was her mother, and the promises of leaving him and getting a full happy life again. All of these promises were empty, but still seemed to fuel the two of them to go on day-to-day dreaming about better things. It was amazing that even hollow words could still give hope to the most fragile of psyches. 4
Her air was her own mind, and the places that it could take her. The dark places where her own flame was finally able to over take the water. Oil burned on water, she had seen it. Seeing this gave her the never ending vision of his body set in the red flames screaming for death.5
“Girl!” The yell was sharp, and Calla stood up before he could get anything else out of his mouth.6
“Sss Sir,” the small girl stammered out.7
He grabbed her arm and jerked her away from the flames, “I thought I fucking told you to stop lighting them damn fires.”8
“You did Sir.”9
“Then what the hell is this,” he says this low now because he doesn’t want to attract any attention from the neighbors. 10
Calla is to scared to answer. He responds to her nothingness by pulling her arm upwards harshly, “a fire.” She says as the pain goes though her arm.11
“Do you know what fire does,” he stops and looks at her face, “it burns.”12
She shakes her head yes; she doesn’t want to know where he is going with this. Calla just looks at the ground now, at her little fire. It seems to be traveling away from him, something she wishes she could do as well.13
“Take of your shoes and socks,” he barks out the order.14
Calla complies with his demand and takes off the shoes and socks before she can get out a meek, “Yes.”15
“Put out the fire.”16
She looks up at him confused with his demand, “What?”17
“With your feet,” he tightens his grip on her arm as he says this. 18
He begins to pull her to the small patch of red on the ground. One part of her wants to scream and run, but the fear takes over and she can do nothing but follow to where he is leading.19
“I don’t want any tears. Just do it.” He yells the last part.20
The first steps are timid. This was like killing herself in a way. She is the fire. Why would she want to end it’s life? Then again maybe it was facing herself. Maybe this was going to be like conquering everything in herself that was wrong or renegade. With this new thought her steps get bolder and they finally contact with the heated ground. Her eyes squint shut tightly at the pain and she brings her other foot down. This causes her mouth to fly open into an O shape.21
Hurt isn’t the word for her feelings toward the situation because Calla can’t feel the hurt. She feels a pleasurable heat that races up though her body. If he only knew that this wasn’t a punishment, but something she is being able to fully enjoy. The heat gave her something to feel; she hadn’t felt anything since he came into her life. Now, in the most ironic manner he was giving her what he took away. Calla hid her small smile.22
“In the house,” the harsh voice takes Calla out of her haze, and she slowly walks to the house now being able to feel the pain.23
He comes in behind Calla, and pushes her towards her mother who is seated at the kitchen table.24
“Fires, again,” he grumbles sitting down.25
“Did you put it out Hank?” Calla’s mother asks.26
He grins at Calla, “she did, with her feet.”27
Calla looks up to see her mother’s face turn from concern back to it’s placid exterior, “oh.”28
“Well, show her your feet,” he demands.29
Lifting her leg up puts more pressure onto the other causing it to hurt more. Calla can’t see it, but can tell from her mother’s face that the burns are bad. Her mother looks up as if she is going to say something then stops, thinks, and says something different, “may I bandage them up?”30
“No.” He shakes his head, “I’ll just have her put them in cold water for a while.”31
Calla doesn’t move, “may I do that now Sir?”32
“Yes.”33
She quickly takes off ignoring the pain of each step. The bathroom is only a short distance away. Each step across the cool wooden floor is like stepping on the fire for the first time again. Only now she isn’t allowed the time to think, and stand so she cannot enjoy the feeling.34
Upon opening the door she is met with the smell of cleaning liquid that was left out in a dirty bucket by the sink. Calla would have dumped it down the drain, but she was too afraid. It was an action that could result in her being beaten. Who knew if he wanted to use that bucket of chemicals?35
She turned the water on as cold as it would go, and sat on the edge of the bathtub. Her feet then went into the icy cold water, it was to full and they were both fully submerged. The water hurt more than the fire had. It numbed the tops of her small feet and stung the burnt bottoms.36
“Girl.”37
She jumped splashing around the water a little, “Sir?”38
Calla watched him as he picked up the bucket of cleaning liquid, “have to clean out those burns.”39
He dumped the liquid into the small amount of water in the bathtub. Her whole body jumped up at the stinging pain, “let me up.”40
There was now a hand on her shoulder holding her down and another dumping a different liquid into the bathtub, “No.”41
Fumes were now seeping into her skin, and the cleaner in the water was leaking into her blood though the wounds in her feet. It stung everything, her feet, the skin that came in contact with the water mixture, and her eyes. She felt as if her body would melt into a puddle at anytime. 42
Calla wanted out, and she kicked her feet around till the arms lifted off of her shoulders. She was then struck to the ground. Her head hit the tiles hardly with a thunk.43
“Go to bed,” He said leaving the bathroom.44
She couldn’t stand, and black dots were claiming more than half of her vision. Calla just wanted to be back in the safety of her room. He stayed away from it for whatever reason. It was her only place to relax, well until the call of “Girl” echoed though the house.45
Calla stumbled to a standing positing, and slowly made her way up the stairs. Her feet and head were trying to out do her mind, but she blocked out the pain until she was finally alone in her room.46
The tears then came then, hard and swift falling to the carpet. She sat indian style on her bed, and pulled up her foot to look at the damage. It was disgusting. The skin was all white and peeling from her feet. They were slick with puss, and red and irritated under the white of the dead skin.47
Using her fingers she began the process of pulling the skin from her foot. It didn’t hurt until she had to rip it away from the small spots of sill living skin. Most of the white came off with out any resistance having been burned off by the fire and chemicals. The raw skin underneath hurt to touch. It hurt in the air. She suddenly wanted the icy water back to numb the pain away. When she was done she curled into a little ball, and fell asleep exhausted from the pain.48
This was no way for a child to live. 49
Author notes
If your lost or you like it I suggest you read Carnal Beauty, The Beginnings of A Carnal Desire, and Aftermath of A Trian. They are the first three parts to the story.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This made my stomach huhrt so bad
Ugh. I know a child, now a grown women that had to deal with this kind of abuse all the time from her mother. So this really sickened me, but I thank you for entering... exactly the kind of write I was looking for. Thanks.
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ah, i didn't mean to offend. ever hear of those people walking on coals? it's possible because of the relatively low heat transfer ability of coals or vegetation. like when a cake is in the oven, you can put your hand in the oven, you can even touch the cake, but if you touch the pan, you get burned.
i've stomped out grass fires barefoot a bunch of times, you have to hold your foot over and let it roast to really suffer any damage.
sorry for the confusion. -
If you had read it, you would have noted that the grass was dead thus being able to burn. I'm not trying to argue with you becuase there are errors that I would like pointed out, but your not really naming them.
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*pokes you* Thank dear for the comment and the help.
Noooooo I don't want to be a comma master!!! -
wow wow wow.
A child should not have to go through so much horror... feeling the abuse of an angry stepfather (that's what I'm guessing he is) or of anyone, for that matter... in the beginning, you talk of this girl "being" fire... wanting to destroy everything in her path... yet still being tamed by water...
This story made me feel many things: sadness, for the little girl. Anger, that she had to experience it. and horror- I'm sure thats the main one you were going for... I know you -love- to make usall cringe.
I loved this story... It's not my favorite from the series... but it is awesome. I was dissapointed with the length, though... I wanted it to be longer! You have such an awesome style, Amber... you take things that are so difficult to grasp... and you put them into the most horrifying, but eloquent words... and it's the awesome.
Technical (oh boy.. the technical.):
"It weaved across the dead grass constantly growing in size..." I think you might want the word "wove" instead of "weaved".
"It was amazing that even hallow words could still give hope to the most fragile of psyches." I think you might have intended "hollow" instead of "hallow".
"want to attract any attention form the neighbors." I think there is a typo with "form" did you mean "from"?
There was alos many places that I felt would benefit from the use of a comma... but you're improving with that sooooo much. In no time you'll be .. comma-master. Oh yeah, you know you want it.
I loved this, as with the other chapters. Can't wait to see where it's going!
-Chelsea -
one could also point out various factual errors, including the ability of vegetation to transfer heat...compared say to a pan in the oven.
sorry i skipped the comments, time being what it is however, not too terribly sorry.
thanks -
Again there is more before this and will be more after. Read the author comments.
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Thank you for you comment it was very helpful. I just wanted to point out that this is part of a whole story. If you had read the description, or the author comments you would know that this is the fourth part to a series/book called Carnal Beauty. So there is more, and will be more later
This part is supposed to be part of the reason the girl, Calla grows up to be a serial killer. -
...WOW...just WOW...Amber there are like no other words for this then WOW...its was amazing, when you turn thins into a novel it will be soooo amazing...please add more to this story soon...of course I do realize that you don't always enjoy thinking like this...I love how you describe what her feet look like, and adding the chemicals...well...that was just genius...well...ttyl...
~Katie -
I liked you write and ideas. I agree that it could had been more explored, maybe in 2 or 3 chapters, but what I read here gave information and images enough to build the whole scene. well done!
Mari
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well, "A critical review is invited," and i don't think you've gotten anything truly useful so far (save encouragement, which has its place).
as mentioned above, the story is too short to be anything but the beginning of something, or possibly the middle. it couldn't be an end, because it has no ending itself.
while the images of torture and the vivid description of pain can certainly draw a reader in and keep him/her there, if after finishing the work the reader simply forgets it (or remembers only the pain) i'm not certain one could say that those images/that content has any real meaning outside its existance in the current dialogue of society regarding such issues.
show me more.
one incident (or two) simply doesn't do it.
that said, there is a fairly good control of language in the story, one that could develope into something quite good if given enough time and energy, and also a certain amount of grace appears, which is more difficult to quantify.
hope you find that helpful.
thanks for posting your work. keep it up. -
Oh wow thank you so much. That comment really means a lot to me.
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Once again the tale of Calla the man killer is a very great story. I can see this turning into a very good, and very interesting novel length book. I'm just glad I can publish the first part before anyone. You have talent, and it isn't just talent, it isn't manufactured. You have raw talent, if you learn how to hone your skill, you can be a very good, well known writer someday. Great job on the story.
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that is definately no way for a kid to live and your storie is truely awesum, its character shows actual emotions. it shows the true ways many people may live.
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oh my god, thats so horrible, i mean its a wonderful storie, but that... its so harsh and cruel, and all these idiotic preppy idiots think their life sucks because dady wont give them the keys to the corvette, its was beautifuly writen, so harsh, great characters
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No, as you can tell from the other three parts to this story my mind dosn't quite work like it should all of the time lol. Though I guess this is a good reason to start killing all the men in her life ya? lol
-Amber -
Wow. A mean way to live but a lovely story. Did it actually happen?
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